Page 54 of Some Kind of Forever
“Her mom already left. She texted me a few minutes ago saying she couldn’t get a hold of Kayla and asked me to pass it on.”
“I’ll get her home so you can get some sleep, then.”
When I get back to the room, Kayla’s exactly where I left her. I crack open the bottle of water and hand it over, watching her sip, then gulp. “Your mom’s already gone. Do you want to go home now?”
She nods, and I stoop to grab her bag before offering her my hand. Landing on the main floor, Ashlie stops us to give Kayla a hug. “I’m sorry,” Kayla whispers, sniffling.
“Girl, don’t you dare apologize. Text me after you get some sleep.”
Kayla dips her chin and stares down at the floor as I guide her to the door with my hand on her back.
The drive back to Kayla’s house is a stark contrast from our drive yesterday. Dark clouds roil in the sky, masking the sun. While I’m still holding her hand, the energy is sadness instead of excitement. The hitched breathing comes from prolonged tears instead of kissing. Songs from the radio are replaced with post-crying hiccups.
At the door, she sticks the key into the lock and goes rigid, hands trembling. “I got you,” I say with a squeeze on her arm, unlocking the door and pushing it open. The curtains are drawn, making the house dark to match the dreary mood of the morning. Propelling her forward enough for me to close the door, I reach for the switch on the wall and flip it on. Warm yellow light illuminates the entryway.
“Can you stay?” She looks up at me, eyes bloodshot from crying and lack of sleep. One arm hangs loosely at her side while the other is slung across her body, hugging her elbow.
“Of course. If you want me here, I’ll stay…”
The crease forming between her eyes as she registers my words tells me how unwarranted my fears were this morning. “Why wouldn’t I want you here, Chase?”
“I…don’t know.” I rub the back of my head, trying to unscramble my thoughts.“I couldn’t get a hold of you, and no one would tell me what was going on. And then you didn’t want to talk to me when I called Ashlie, and I just…don’t know what you want.” It comes out rushed and messy, as I lay my anxiety at her feet.
I watch as the crease of confusion fades from her face into a look of contrition. Tucking her chin, her shoulders slump as she takes a deep breath. She scrubs a hand over her face and, without saying another word, reaches for me and leads me down the hallway to her room. Placing her hands on both of my arms, Kayla nudges me to sit on the light blue bedspread. She kicks off her shoes and climbs in next to me, turning her back to lean against the headboard. I mirror her, kicking off mine and turning to face her across the bed. We sit, knees touching, not saying anything.
Placing my hands in hers, she takes a deep breath and looks into my eyes. “I’m not used to relying on people,” she starts with a shaky voice, eyes never leaving mine. “I do things on my own, figure things out on my own so no one needs to worry about me. Even with Ash, I don’t always lean on her like a best friendshould. I’m the one with solutions—cool, calm, collected—not the one who falls apart, and I didn’t—” Her breath hitches as tears stream down her face. “I didn’t want you to see me like this.” She waves her hands over her body, briefly dropping mine before grabbing them again.
“You can’t just disappear. If this is going to work?—”
“I know.”
“The running is…” I pause, looking down at our hands as I feel the surge of emotions I’ve been pushing away all morning. I want this to work out with her so badly, but I don’t think I can deal with another morning in the dark like this. I can’t be the only one willing to communicate. She squeezes my hands reassuringly, waiting for me to finish. “The running is tearing me up inside, Kayla. I can’t handle it if you’re going to keep pulling away. I need to know what’s going on in that head of yours. Even if you just want some space. I need to know.”
“Okay.” She sits up on her knees, dropping my hands to cradle my face. “I’m sorry I made you worry—made you question this.” She brushes my lips with the lightest touch of her own. “I want you to stay, Chase. You’re my blue pebble, and I want you to stay.”
I lean forward, kissing her more fully while the smile grows on my lips. “Look who’s being cheesy now…”
As the tiniest smile appears, the tired lines on her face remind me she hasn’t slept. I move across the bed to lie down on her pillow, pulling her along with me. She snuggles into my chest, arm draping across me, and with hardly any time passing, I can hear the deep breathing of sleep take over.
We lie like that, entwined together for hours. Her asleep, and me drifting in and out. Catching me mid-doze, I feel her shift at my side. I glance down at her face to see her eyes wide-open, staring at a spot on the wall. I rub gentle circles on her back to let her know I’m with her.
“Kendall’s my father,” she whispers, holding on a little tighter to me. I take a beat, trying to make sense of what she’s just said. “That’s what happened last night. I opened the front door to find my mom and Kendall.”
“Kendall Jackson? Like, Hunter’s dad?”
She nods against me, drawing shaky breaths. The floodgates open again, and she tells me everything that happened after I dropped her off last night. How they sat her down at the table, her mom explaining how they met in Fort Bender twenty-two summers ago. Her mom found out she was pregnant but didn’t look for Kendall, despite knowing how to contact him. Karla panicked and left when they bumped into him at the store the first time, but Kendall hadn’t seen her face then. He recognized her immediately when he saw her yesterday morning.
“She lied to me. My entire childhood, she told me she didn’t know who or where my father was, but she did. She saw an article about EdTechU when I was little and recognized him then. She lied about it a month ago when we first bumped into him at the store, and she lied again yesterday. I felt ambushed at that dining room table and just needed space…so I left and turned off my phone.” Kayla sits up on her knees suddenly, wiping tears from her cheeks. “I’m so angry at her. This whole time I could have had a dad, siblings to bond with. I wouldn’t have grown up feeling so alone.”
I listen and I wait, partly from not knowing the right words to say, but also because as she tells her story, she sits a little taller. Her voice grows a little stronger with each word, and the tears flow a little less. This is helping her feel better, and I’ll listen and wait forever if it’s what she needs to feel better.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
KAYLA
Today is the first day in almost a week where I feel like myself. I’ve pushed through my shifts at Patti’s, and the crying happens less frequently. Today, I feel good. I feel capable. Happy even. The bell tinkles above the door at the diner, and in walks my own personal brand of sunshine, smiling widely when he sees me. I grab water and a menu and meet him at the counter.
“Hey, Ashlie,” Chase says, taking the stool next to her. She waves at him from behind her book, silently turning the pages of her current thriller novel while she chews on her turkey wrap. I come from behind the counter, and Chase wraps his arm around my waist, pulling me into his lap.
