Page 47 of Greedy Grizzly
But now I was reminded why I’d vowed never to get close to anyone. How could I become comfortable and let my guard down?
Dammit! I need to push him away.
Right, that would never happen. Landon might give me my space and not question me, but he would never let me walk away from him…. Unless someone else came into his life.
Hmm… I’d have to think about that notion. Meanwhile, how would I explain all the tears?
“I’m good now.” I sniffled and dried my eyes, slowly pulling away.
“Eventually, we’ll need to talk about this.” His dark brown eyes consumed me. I had never understood why he was given the road name Grizzly. To me, he was a teddy bear.
“I know.”
“I won’t forget. Feel this.” He took my hand and put it on his racing heart. “Whatever upset you, it affects me too. I’m here, and you are not alone.”
“I don’t deserve to have a friend like you.”
“Don’t give me that crap.” He gently pinched my chin. “We’re more than friends. More than lovers. We aremore, and don’t you ever deny it.”
“I can’t do this with you right now. I’m too raw and emotional.” And when I did open up to him, what would the truth do to him? He might need support. A friend to lean on. He’d need Toby.
“Fine, but I won’t let you off the hook.”
“I know.” I gazed at him with so much love in my heart it might burst. “How are you? How’d it go in South Dakota?”
“Rough all around.” He exhaled a deep breath and sat on the bed. I sensed his troubled spirit, and suspected it had to do with Toby.
“I can’t imagine what Storm’s dad and stepmom are going through. To lose a child in such a violent way would break me.”
He took my hand. “You’re stronger than you think, baby.”
“I’m so sorry for everything.” I perched myself on his lap, taking liberties I probably shouldn’t after betraying him. But I needed to be as close as possible. I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him. “I will never do anything like this again.”
“I trusted you, y’know?” The hurt in his voice slashed through my heart. “After Storm, you’re the only other person I depended on.”
“And I’m so sorry I lost your trust. I will earn it back. And even if you never trust me again, I won’t give up on you.”
He didn’t reply, he just held me tightly for a long time. And then he said…
“I wanted to hurt you back when I was in The Cities. Even met someone.”
I slowly pulled back to look him in the eyes. “You did?”
“Yes, but nothing happened. It almost did. I sort of wanted it to, but I left.”
Relief washed over me, and then guilt for being relieved he hadn’t been with someone else. It was strange how I used to want my freedom. How I didn’t care if Landon was with someone else, so long as he treated me the same way.
But I’d changed a lot in the past year and felt a little possessive. He was mine, and I didn’t want to share him with anyone else, except for Toby.
“He was a bartender. A pretty hot one, actually. He made me feel things I hadn’t felt with anyone other than you and Toby.” His cheeks flamed red with embarrassment.
“I told you to be you while you were gone.”
“Yeah, and being me is being faithful to you.” He pinched my chin and lowered his lips to mine. Softly he kissed me. “My heart belongs to you, Libby. I could never betray you. Which brings me to Toby.”
“What about Toby?” Oh God, I hoped he wouldn’t deny himself. I wanted to be with both men, sort of like a throuple. The only difference was, Toby wanted to come and go as he pleased. He didn’t want to be tied down, and for awhile, I didn’t want to be either.
He rubbed my back and pressed his forehead against mine. “We kissed.”
