Page 38 of Let It Be Me
“What was that?” He asks as he circles the pointed tip.
“We should stop,” I say weakly as I push my chest into his hand.
“We won’t go any further than this. But this is for you.” He tells me, voice thick as he diverts his hand to the waistband of my pajama shorts. “I’ll stop if you want me to.”
“Don’t stop,” I breathe out.
I’m already wet and Riley meets no resistance as he moves a finger over my clit and down to my entrance. I roll my hips and his finger slips easily inside of me giving him my answer. “Fuck, baby you’re soaked. Keep talking or I’ll stop.”
Riley nibbles on my earlobe causing a stuttered breath to spill free. “I slept surprisingly well. But you do snore.” That earns a pinch to my clit. “Oh, fuck.”
“What else? What are you excited to see?” Riley asks as he continues to bring me to the edge. He adds another finger to my entrance and curls them as he circles my clit with his thumb.
“I…hockey, ice.” He expects me to form a complete thought?
“What else and I’ll let you come,” he licks a trail from the crease in my neck and dips into my ear. His fingers massage my inner walls. Never moving any faster than a leisurely pace. He groans when I clench around his fingers.
“You playing,” I say as a sheen of sweat forms on my forehead.
“That’s what I like to hear. Now come for me Sarah.” Riley orders as he pumps his fingers in and out of my pussy and rolls my nipple between his thumb and pointer finger. My body tightens and with the curl of his fingers I let go. Moaning his name as my orgasm flows through my body. Riley works me through my climax and slows down the thrusting of his fingers. When the last of my orgasm fades he pulls his hands from the waistband of my shorts and kisses the side of my head before rolling out of the bed and into the bathroom.
Huh. I try not to think too much about what just happened. Or what didn’t happen. Namely Riley not getting his finish. So I fall back on the mattress and stare up at the ceiling and listen to the faint sound of the shower running through the closed bathroom door. Is he taking care of himself? If so, why not let me do it for him? Maybe this is his way of putting that line back in place? But, if so, then he wouldn’t have touched me to begin with. Sasha jumps up on the bed and finds her spot by laying right on top of me. Her presence is a welcome distraction to what may or may not be happening mere feet away from me.
“At least you like me,” I tell her as I give her some head scratches. The vibrations of her purring soothes the dark thoughts that tend to sneak in my mind uninvited. I won’t call him a trigger, but Riley walking away brought those unwanted thoughts in.
It’s a weird thing. Depression. It sneaks in when you least expect it to. But I never considered myself to be depressed. Because what’s so bad in my life that my mind went on shutdown mode? I mean besides the baseball failure, the cheating boyfriend, and nonchalant mom. Really,what is so wrong that the waves of sadness wash over me at unexpected moments? I could be celebrating huge contracts or my clients teams winning the big game. But out of nowhere, that dark, heavy cloud of feelings will come and crush whatever strides I’ve made to not be sucked back in.
I have Kamryn to thank for pushing me to finally talk to someone about my buried feelings. I remember that day last year so clearly. Sitting at a bar with my friends and realizing that we were missing a crucial part of our group. That was a low point for me. It was the point where I was wonderingwhyandwhat’s the pointevery single day. Most days I woke up crying and then pasting on the happy-go-lucky face to everyone else. It was the need to no longer being afraid to fail that I finally started making bigger strides at work. But the cycle would continue to repeat itself until Kam told me she didn’t want to lose me. The self-deprecating jokes and focus on the past were what finally clued her into knowing that I wasn’t fine.
Yet there was never a day when I told myself I was done with life. I was just so tired. I was tired of feeling like I wasn’t succeeding as fast as my friends. I was tired of feeling left behind. I was tired of feeling stuck in the past with no way forward. But I would never and could never tell my friends that. They have been through too much for me to just dump on them. And being a burden to someone is the last thing I want.
The door to the bathroom opens and I quickly wipe the tears off my face and go back to petting Sasha.
“What time do you have to be at the arena?” I ask and hope that my voice doesn’t hold any of the leftover emotion.
I hear a drawer open and look over to see Riley with his back to me, riffling through it and pulling out some briefs. He drops his towel and I get a good look at his glutes as hepulls the briefs on. Picking up the towel off the floor, he turns and runs it over his hair.
I give him a pointed look and watch as his face transforms. That damn mask I saw the first time we officially met. What happened to the man who gave me an orgasm less than twenty minutes ago to the man standing in front of me in just his briefs?
“I don’t have to be there for another few hours.” He finally responds and tosses his towel into the hamper that’s in the corner of his room. “I’m gonna make some breakfast. Do you want any?”
“Just coffee,” I tell him.
Riley just nods before snagging his phone off the charger and heading out of the room with Pixie following close at his heels. I shouldn’t worry too much about his sullen mood, right? It is a little odd he’s not as chatty since that’s been his M.O. since we met. Maybe this is also part of his pre-game routine that he left out.
I listen to him clanking around in the kitchen as the murmuring from the TV floats this way. Should I get up and shower? Join him in the kitchen? That’s what a girlfriend would do. But we’re not real. This could just be another way that I’m reinforcing it into my brain.
Snagging my phone off the nightstand next to me, I open it to multiple texts from my girls.
Kamryn: Mason has extra tickets to today’s home opener. Anyone wanna go with us?
Emmy-Lou: Sure. I still know absolutely nothing about football. But Adam is working and Dylan is with his grandparents.
Jax: If I can finish this brand project, count me in.
Kamryn: Sarah?
Emmy-Lou: Hello….!
