Page 44 of Let It Be Me
“No,” she sighs wistfully and then shakes up her own salad container. “But it’s always been a bucket list goal of mine to cross off.”
“Well, you’re in luck. Reports are saying that we’ll be able to see them.”
“Really?” Her face lights up as if I told her I was bringing the moon to her.
“Yeah. I figured it would be something fun to do. And since we’re friends…?” I trail off and look at her.
“Yeah, we’re friends.” She says with less conviction.
“Perfect. Since we’re friends, I figured this would be a fun thing to see together.”
“Touché.” She starts and opens up her salad.
We eat in companionable silence with the windows partly rolled down to let the early October breeze float through the car. I smile as I watch kids running back and forth along the lakeshore. A pang of jealousy hits as I realize my childhood was stripped away the night I lost my parents. I’m sure I don’t laugh as freely as I used to. In fact, I can’t remember the last time I felt free. Shaking my head, I swiftly finish the rest of my food and place my emptycontainer in the plastic bag it came in. Sarah follows suit not long after.
My dour mood is thick in the car and I hate it. I continue looking out at the water, adapting my breathing techniques from the doctors.
“Riley?” Sarah asks quietly. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know. I was just watching those kids running and it hit me that I didn’t get that as a kid.” My honesty hits her.
Sarah shuffles around in her seat until her boots are off and she’s turned towards me with her legs crossed. “Tell me more about your parents.”
“Dad was a history teacher at the local high school. It was his favorite thing to talk about, next to hockey and my mom. But history was his number one and his dream was to eventually teach at the local university. That's how much he loved history and he wanted a bigger way to spread that love. My mom owned a yoga studio and it came in really handy for her when I started playing hockey. Dad was always chewing gum to try and quit smoking and mom always smelled of fresh roses and clean laundry. Those were three of my favorite scents and I–I can’t remember the last time I had those scents hit my senses.” My brow furrows when I realize it’s been over a decade since I had them around. “I just miss them. Their warmth, their presence, the way they made everyday an adventure. Whether it was drop-offs at school or heading to hockey practice. I’m always hit with the what-ifs when I wonder what my life would be like if my parents were still alive. But then I’d never have gotten to know Momma and Pops the way I have.”
We sit in the front seats not saying a word. Because what is there to say?
“I was right last night,” Sarah says from beside me. I lookover and see her observing me with her chin propped on her fist.
“About what?” Last night is a blur. And add on the game, I have no clear distinction about what we talked about.
“About love. The love you feel for your parents is evident in the way you memorialize them.”
Sarah and I share a look. Whether it’s about love, loss, or life, I feel she understands in a way no one else in my life does.
“You know I was wary about you being my publicist,” I confess.
“Why? Afraid I’d throw myself at you? Or because I’m a woman.”
I cringe. “A little bit of both. No offense.”
“After being in this line of work for a while, I unfortunately got used to it. I mean, I shouldn’t. The men who think I can’t handle male athletes are the ones who are crying at the end of the day.”
“You are quite the ballbuster,” I joke.
“For a good reason,” she defends.
I’m about to agree with her when we hear commotion outside. We both turn in that direction and my eyes grow wide while I hear a gasp from Sarah. The lights have appeared in the night sky and we both fumble to get out of the car for an unobstructed view. I’ve never seen anything like this. And theoohsandaahsfrom up and down the shore express the same sentiment. Sarah and I stand next to each other, leaning against the front of my car, as the lights flow in front of us. I peek over at her and see the most blissful look on her face since the first time we met. The colors lightly bounce off her face and her joy is this tangible thing that I want to hold onto forever.
“Bucket list item crossed off?” I ask while fully looking at her.
“Yeah,” she sighs dreamily while still looking up at the lights. “I’ve never seen anything more beautiful.”
“I have.”
She turns to me and playfully rolls her eyes. But I don’t miss the blush that rises to her cheeks. Sarah turns back to the lights and I don’t miss the way she crosses her arms over her chest. It’s then I realize she’s only in her boots that she put on fast and her dress from the game.
“Do you want to go back in the car?” I ask.
