Page 88 of Let It Be Me
“Yeah.”
You read about it, you hear about it, but until you’re experiencing it with someone in your life, you’ll never know how to go about getting someone out of a bad situation. Riley washes my hair and body, shooing me once I’m done so he can wash himself.
I dry off and do my skincare before taking care of my hair and then crawling into bed. Riley joins me a few minutes later and shuts off the light.
I’m wokenup with a jolt. My heart rate is through the roof and my breathing is shaky.
“Hey,” Riley whispers carefully. “You’re okay. I’m not going anywhere.”
“I don’t know what’s happening,” I cry, my body trembles as sobs wrack my body.
He pulls me until I’m laying on top of him and rubs myback. “I’m no expert, but I think everything with Jax is bringing your painful time back.”
I inhale a shaky breath and keep breathing until the tears dry up.
“Do you think maybe you should take a trip to Charleston?”
A protest is on the tip of my tongue because I have no reason to set foot there. But maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea. Everything is still up in the air with my parents, especially after their surprise visit, so maybe a trip won’t hurt.
“Will you come with me?” I ask even though I already know the answer.
“You couldn’t stop me.” He says and I nod against his chest as sleep comes back to claim me. “Go back to sleep baby.”
I fall asleep to Riley’s reassurances and wake up later in the morning on my side with him wrapped around me. I look at the time and see it’s almost noon. Which is odd because I swear we just fell asleep.
“Morning, baby,” Riley says and kisses the back of my head.
“Morning.” I say and grab one of his hands and kiss it. I link our hands together and relish in this silent moment. Where the sun has risen but the life of a new day has yet to invade this space.
“How are you?”
I turn on my back and set my focus on the ceiling fan. “Tired, still.”
“That’s to be expected. What about your feelings over Jax?”
A whoosh of air escapes me when I think about how to talk to Kamryn about this. “I feel stuck and like the tools mytherapist gave me are completely useless. What good are those tools if I can’t loan them to other people?”
“And your feelings about going back to Charleston?”
“I feel like I’ve accepted that I need to go back there one final time. Not for them, but for me. I need to confront them, my parents especially, and find a way to put them in the past. Because until they learn to accept my need for independence then we’ll never have a relationship.” I swallow tightly at the possibility of cutting off all contact with my parents. It’s been over two months since they bombarded me with a visit. But maybe if I’m on their turf they’ll find a way to see things from my viewpoint. “The sooner we get there the better. Otherwise, I’ll keep finding reasons to not go there.”
“Let’s fly down on Monday and if things don’t go the way you hope, we’ll make a vacation out of it. We’ll turn the sour into sweet.”
“You really are the best boyfriend ever,” I tell him and turn to look at him. His blond hair is tousled, unfortunately not from my hands, and his eyes are still holding onto that sleepy gaze.
“You bring it out of me.”
Riley slides out of bed after he kisses me on the forehead and I hear as he takes care of business in the bathroom. I grab my phone off the nightstand and open it to texts and emails. But I forgo those and start a new chat with Kamryn and Emily.
Me: Riley and I are headed to Charleston on Monday. But when I get back, we need to have a chat.
Emily: Sounds serious.
Kam: Yeah, what’s wrong?
Kam: And why isn’t Jax in this thread?
Me: I wouldn’t keep her out if it wasn’t important.
