Page 13 of Apricity
Like floating… adrenaline. I’ve felt an adrenaline rush before but nothing like what he’s describing.
“It can be a bit overwhelming for a person to experience before knowing it exists.” His arms come around me, hugging me from behind as he starts rocking leisurely. “It can also be dangerous. The sensations dull you to any other stimuli. Pain, sometimes, doesn’t even register.”
Both Jax's and Hawk’s heads shoot up at that, their protective natures coming to the forefront. Hawk tilts his head to the side. “That’s why you were watching her the whole time instead of joining in with us. If she went to this…subspace… she wouldn’t have been able to voice her safe words.”
“Or even realize that she should….” Cole nods in return.
“You were protecting her... the whole time.” Jax grasps Cole’s shoulder, moving him back just enough until Cole looks up into his eyes.
They don’t speak. Not a word from either of them until Jax nods approvingly to Cole behind me. I hear Cole sigh in response.
“You too often put the responsibility of protecting all of us solely on your own shoulders. The heaviness of such an act can tear a person apart over time. Even lose themselves. I can’t let that happen to you. To any of us.” Cole squeezes my arm before trailing his fingers down to mine, twining them together. “I may not be the strongest like you, Jax. Or the fastest like Hawk is known to be. But I can sure as hell watch after my own. And my own is all of you.”
Jax drops his arm from Cole’s shoulder, looking back at Hawk then back to me and Cole. “But what if—”
“No,what ifs. Lay down your burdens, Jax. We’re a family for a reason. But enough talking about you.” Cole clasps his hand around Jax’s shoulder in return, shaking it a little before letting him go and turning back to me, effectively ending that conversation for now and getting back to Cole’s original focus. “We’re here in this moment to see what our beautiful woman thought of her sensory deprivation and I will not tolerate anymore derailments from the discussion's focus.”
“Um, well…” I’m not sure where to start, still slightly overwhelmed. Not to mention, Cole’s hands keep ghosting over my skin and it’sverydistracting.
“Use your words like the good Doc told you, sweetheart,” Hawk croons as he settles in between my bent legs, taking one of my feet in his hands and planting it in his lap, massaging as he speaks. Licking my lips, I focus and take a deep breath.
“I um, I really liked the ropes. Like…reallyliked them.”
“Details, baby. We need details. What was it about them that made you like it so much,” Jax asks from next to me as he takes my hand in his.
“Well… I guess it was because I didn’t need to think. I didn’t need to second guess what each of you might like. Didn’t need to think about what I should do next or overthink what one of you might attempt next. I just had to… be. It was freeing… if that makes sense.”
“It makes complete sense… and it further proves that you are, in fact, a sub or a bottom, in a sense. You aim to please.And, by putting the choices in our hands, you're guaranteeing we'll do what we enjoy and want in the moment. I already know you have a praise kink. I’m pretty sure the guys know of it as well.”
He’s not wrong. I’m not sure if it’s because I wasn’t toldgood jobenough as a child but just hearing one of the guys give me praise is enough to have me needing new undies. Come to think of it...
“I also liked being used... like a toy, being called your toy. It seemed to make you all happy and that mademehappy, regardless of how demeaning it may have seemed.” I scrunch my nose. “Is that wrong?”
“Absolutely fucking not. You like what you like and that’s all there is to it. All we can do is determine if we want to join in your fun or not. But as far as calling you our little fuck doll... I’m enthusiastically willing,” Cole replies with a smile befitting his enthusiasm.
“Me too! Add that shit on my sheet, too!” Hawk jumps in, pointing frantically to himself.
Silly rabbit, did he think we were going to leave him out?
Jax takes another second before timidly agreeing as well. “Yeah... I can do that.”
“You can do more than do that, bro. Practically foaming at the mouth when Cole said all that shit,” Hawk says to Jax. The jab earns Hawk a punch to the gut. “Ok, ok. I’ll stop,” he wheezes out as Jax continues to put him in various chokeholds. Cole simply shakes his head at them and continues, his mind focused completely on my pleasure.
“What about the sensory deprivation?”
“I liked that too. Maybe not as much as the ropes but it did get my adrenaline going as you said. Or maybe that was just from the ropes. I’m not really sure. But not knowing what was coming next was definitely exciting.”
Cole nods at that. “And anything specific you’d like to share?”
Ah fluff and stuff...well here goes nothing.
“Um... I liked it I when Jax choked me with his...” I raise my eyebrows, indicating without actually saying it but Cole won’t let that fly.
“Go on... say it. I know you can say the dirty words, beautiful. Be a good girl and do it for us. We’re dying to hear all the naughty bits."
Ah fuck, just spit it out you filthy bitch!
“I liked being choked on Jax’s cock.” All of a sudden, Hawk and Jax stop wrestling and simultaneously turn to me, eyes zeroed in.
