Page 29 of Apricity
“Cole, talk to me,” I demand as I close the distance, trying to get to her and reassure myself that I didn’t just lose her. Thatwedidn’t just lose her.
“She’s breathing. She’s ok,” Cole says after I kneel down at her side, relieved that she's alive but panicking at the fact that she’s not moving. Those stupid fucking totes are scattered all over, many of which are on top of her, the heavy weight of them pinning her down.
“Here, watch out.” Hawk reaches around me and begins lifting the boxes off of her, setting them to the side. When she’s finally uncovered, she still makes no move; herbody, frozen on the concrete ground. Cole continues prodding her but my patience is spent. Even if she can’t move, she needs to speak to me.
“Aly, say something, baby. What hurts? What can we do?” I lift her hand, rubbing it encouragingly. A second later, she grasps my shirt, pulling me down. “What is it, baby? Are you ok?”
She doesn’t speak, she just looks pleadingly in my eyes before taking Cole’s shirt in the same fashion, pulling him down as she continues to gasp for air.
“We need to get her out of here. I don’t think she broke anything in the fall, and I don’t see any lacerations or bites from the zombie, but she might be spiraling into an anxiety attack, possibly progressing into a full-blown panic attack. It can cause disorientation, increased heart rate, a whole number of symptoms. She’s still coherent, and she’s moving now, so if we move fast, we can help get her out of it just as quickly,” Cole says as he looks around for a way out.
We need to get out of this godforsaken basement but how the hell do we do that if the fucking door is locked from the outside? A box falls to my right, giving me an idea.
“Guys, help me build a staircase with these totes. There’s a shit ton of them. If we pile them on top of one another we can use them to climb out of this hell hole.”
We line up and start placing tote after tote until we create a fucked-up version of a staircase. Lifting Aly, we carefully make our way up and out of the basement and out to the backyard where the lawnmower I found earlier is waiting.
I kneel down with Aly in my arms as Cole settles next to us, drawing her attention. "Come on, beautiful. Breathe. In and out. Think of the lake. Remember? The ducks flying overhead? The coolness of the water as the waves touched your toes? The warmth of the sand? Picture it, Aly. Breathe it in and let it out. Big breaths. You can do it."
Hawk joins in with his own attempt to pull her out of her nightmare, rubbing her hands, trying to loosen them out of the tight fists that stubbornly won't release. He keeps trying nonetheless, just as stubborn and determined. "Come on, sweetheart. Come back to us. We're right here. You're safe. Come back.
I’m about to set her down in the back of the trailer, but stop as I take in her trembling form in my arms. Her teeth are chattering hard and her hands are fisted tightly against her chest. I get that what happened down there scared the hell out of her. Hell, it scared the shit out of me. It’s a normal response to have in a situation like that. But it’s been almost twenty minutes and her shaking doesn’t seem to be getting any better. Even Cole’s attempts to calm her down with the breathing techniques they’ve been practicing don’t seem to have any effect.
“It’ll be ok, baby. We’re gonna take it all away.” I tell her as I kiss her forehead softly before nuzzling her nose. “We’re gonna take it all away.”
Cole’s head pops up just before he points determinedly at me. “Jax…” He grabs and kisses my cheek hard. “You fucking genius. That might actually work. Get her back as fast as you can, I need to go get the supplies ready.” Then, without another word, he turns and runs ahead of us towards the cabin.
Chapter 18
Cole
I know what I need to do. I know what Aly needs. Fuck, maybe what we all need. This could be the answer to all of our problems. Well, at least the mental ones anyways.
Scouring the cabin, I manage to find eight sets of rope that will work for what we need tonight. Just as I finish unraveling the last one, Hawk kicks in the door while Jax carries Aly in his arms.
“Set her on the bed, Jax. Hawk, find some water or juice. She’s gonna need some electrolytes.” Hawk steps over to the kitchen as Jax gently lays Aly down on the bed. He’s on the verge of losing it. A volcano on the precipice of eruption. He hides it well, but one look in his eyes and it’s there, bubbling to the surface.
Placing a hand on his shoulder, I pull his attention away from our girl. “We’re gonna need a pair of scissors and the first aid kit.” He looks at me like I’m insane before I reassure him. “It’s just in case. Nothing’s gonna happen to our girl. I promise.” He nods and then turns to the bathroom to get the items I asked for.
While I wait for them to get what we need, I sit on the bed next to Aly. She’s as pale as a ghost and still shivering, but her eyes focus on me and that’s a good sign. I take her hand in mine and squeeze. “We’ve got you, beautiful. You’re safe with us.” Drawing small circles on the back of her hand, I broach the idea I have to pull her out of this.
“Aly… remember how you felt the other day when we tied you up? How it took it all away? How it made you relax?”
She thinks for a second before nodding back at my questions.
“I’m going to try something similar to what we did then. I think it’ll help you calm down a little. Would you like to try? Do you trust me enough to try?” In my years experimenting within various BDSM lifestyles, Shibari, the art of rope tying, is one of those areas that peaked my interest.
Being a medical professional, learning new ways to alleviate stress and anxiety, outside of the need for medication, caught my attention and ran with it. There are so many studies that provide evidence proving rope bondage can have a soothing effect on the nervous system. It may sound counterintuitive, restraining someone and taking away their freewill, but acts like getting tied up can actually helpwith stress management by increasing a person’s endorphin release.
She sticks out her tongue, wetting her lips as she tries to speak. “Y-yes, I w-want to try. P-please. I can’t s-stop shak-king.” Her teeth clatter as she tries to get the words out, but I’m proud of her for trusting me. For trusting us and for wanting to try.
“Ok, beautiful. I’m going to wrap you in a compression knot. It’s going to go around your chest and will feel like it’s getting harder to breathe, but it will not hurt you. It’s going to help your breathing regulate and bring you to a sense of relaxation.” I pause, waiting for her to nod her understanding before I continue. “You have your safe words. Do you remember them?”
“S-toppp light.”
“That’s right, sweetheart,” Hawk says, coming up behind me with a large bottle of sports drink. “Green, yellow, red.”
“If it’s too much at any point, don’t hesitate to call it. From here on out I’m going to need you to speak to us, using your voice, darlin’. I need to know that you’re fully aware of what’s going on. Nodding or shaking your head isn’t gonna cut it. Understand?”
