Page 33 of Apricity
“Yes, with my life,” Jax responds immediately.
“No. Do you trust me withAly’slife? To protect her even when you’re not in the picture? To trust Hawk to do so as well?”
Jax hesitates and that’s all Cole needs to press on as I recover for a second.
“Let me show you what Aly experiencing. Not as intricate but just enough to get you to relinquish your obsession with control for one goddamn second.” Cole steps away from me, enhancing the seriousness he has for the situation. “Do you trust me?”
“Yes,” Jax responds hesitantly.
“Then let me try something…”
Chapter 21
Jax
I nod but I’m not entirely sure what I’m about to experience here. I trust Cole and Hawk with everything. They’re my brothers, through and through. If I can’t trust them, who can I trust? But in this moment of vulnerability, I find myself lacking. Nervous. Unhinged.
Unable to stop myself, I look to Aly for guidance. I’ll admit I’m an alpha male with dominant tendencies, so the last thing I want is to look weak in front of my girl but I need some reassurance in this case.
Will she think differently of me if I let Cole tie me up?
Can I live with myself if I breakdown during this and she witnesses it?
I stop my thoughts in their tracks. It’s Aly. The love of my life. The woman I’d give everything for. My strength. My purpose.
She gives me a subtle nod, encouraging me, giving me her strength and reassurance when I need it most. To go through with what Cole has in store for me and trust the process. Her approval in this is worth more than she probably even knows.
We each took the time to address our hard and soft limits, applying them to the papers we started the other day and reviewed them together. Now, we’re prepared. Each one of us knows what the others are up for and not up for. Even things we might simply not be ready for yet but are willing to try. If this goes where I think it might, it’s definitely a yellow card for me.
I know Cole and Hawk have gotten closer, exploring and such, but I’m not sure I'm one to dabble in exactly what they’ve been trying. That’s not saying I’m not willing to dip my toes in and test the waters, I’m just a little more reluctant. I’d like to think I know myself but in reality, I might not know myself at all and that scares the shit out of me.
Cole reaches next to me and grabs a thick, black nylon rope, wrapping it around his hands. Looking into my eyes, I can tell he’s serious. This isn’t a game for him. He’s pushing me, not only in the bedroom setting, but also to get out of my head. It feels an awful lot like therapy and I find myself fighting against it.
No one ever said therapy is easy…
“Safe words are gonna be the same for each one of us. If it’s too much, in any capacity, call it. No one’s going to judge you. Understand?” I cringe at Cole’s casualness.This might be second nature for him, but it’s far from easy for me.
“I’m not gonna call yousirif that’s what you’re think—”
“Do you understand?” he asks more assertively, brokering no room for any of my snide comments.
“Yes.”
“Good. And I don’t expect you to call me anything. This isn’t sexual between us. It’s just me trying to help you. BDSM. Shibari. All of this. It doesn’t necessarily have to mean something sexual, but itisintimate in the way you’re trusting me with everything. If you think about it, how is that different from you trusting me any other time?”
He's right. Cole’s saved me in more ways than one. From saving me overseas, patching me up after I got hit, to saving me when my head got the better of me. I trust him implicitly. I don’t say anything in response, not even sure what to say, so I simply nod. Thankfully, he takes my gesture for what it is and doesn’t push me touse my words.
“Arms behind your back, then.” He looks over to Hawk and Aly on the other side of the bed. “Hawk, take care of our girl, yeah?”
“Gladly. Here, sweetheart, lay on your side for me.” Aly gets on her side, her arms still tied behind her back, as Hawk presses into her still soaking wet pussy. Her eyes roll into the back of her head and her neck arches back as she takes his slow, easy strokes.
“Don’t let her come, though,” Cole says as Hawk starts to play with her clit. His words make both their heads turn in question. “Edge her. She wants to see stars. Let’s give em to her.”
Holy shit.
While Hawk slowly pumps in and out of Aly’s wet cunt, Cole starts to work on restraining my arms behind my back. The knot feels similar to what he did on Aly, only less extreme. Just enough to leave me wanting, which is all I’m really able to do since I’m stuck over here, rock solid, getting an eyeful of our girl getting railed.
It’s a bit awkward, Cole working on me while we’re both buck ass fucking naked, but after the last month of being with all of them and Aly at the same time, his and Hawk’s junk are the least of my worries.
