Page 5 of Apricity
My eyebrows shoot up as I point the pen in his direction. “That. That right there is why we need to setlimitations. What that means to him might mean something completely different to any of us when it comes to play time. But enough pussy footing around –”
“He said pussy footing…”
I can’t help but bite my lip as my eyes find their way to a giggling Aly sitting in between Hawk and Jax. I lift my eyebrow and cock a smirk at her joke before huffing out my own laugh. This is going to take all night at this rate.
“Finished?”
“Yes, sir.”
Oh, fuck me… deep breaths. My eyes roll up as I pinch my fingers to the space in between my eyebrows, praying for patience while mentally spanking Aly. The vision draws a smile to my lips but reminds me to focus. We can get through this. We’re adults, dammit.
“Ok. So, as for me, my hard limits, or things I will absolutely not do, include scat play, gun play, sounding, branding, infantilism, mummification, pony play, necrophilia and lust murder, or erotophonophilia.” I list them off quickly, confident in what I absolutely will not do at any time in the foreseeable future. But just in case… “There’re probably more but the list I provided should be sufficient for now, though.”
“Um… question?” Aly lifts her hand as I finish.
“Of course, ask away. I’m an open book,” I respond and I am. If there’s one thing we need to be open and honest about, it’s this. People can get hurt if they diminish a limit or treat it as something that’s not important when in reality itcan be a trigger. I’ll answer whatever any of them might ask because I want them to be just as comfortable talking about their limits when it comes to it. She looks around, seemingly out of her element before she shakes her head and continues with her question.
“Um… what the fuck is all that? I mean, I know about gun play. I read it in one of Jax’s books a while back—”
“Yeah, and it’s absolutely unrealistic, baby. You’ve seen our guns. They each have sights at the end of the barrel.” Jax points to himself before pointing to each of us in our little circle. “I know and you know and you know and yes, Hawk, even you know, that shit would hurt if you put it in a fucking vagina. It would tear that pussy up and not in a good way.” He’s not wrong. I remember reading scenes with exactly that in it and thinking the same thing. But…
“I mean, the gun could always have a silencer on it or be used for more than just penetration but I get what you’re saying, Jax. As for what everything else was, scat play is, well, have you ever seentwo girls one cup?”
“No… but I’ve heard of it and yeah, no.” She shakes her head. “Count me out on that too. No thank you. I feel like there’s a whole mess of bacteria and infections that can result from that and yeah… no. I’m good.” Aly scrunches her nose as Hawk and Jax agree, so I mark the information on each of their pages.
“Alright, then there was sounding, which is the dilation of the urethra using special rods.” Both Hawk andJax automatically grab their junk and cringe at the definition as if I just threatened them with castration.
“Yup,” Hawk squeaks out, pointing aggressively to the papers on the floor. “Put that shit on their too.” Jax nods just as vigorously in agreement.
Aww, look at us, making all kinds of progress already.
“I’m sure you already know what the rest are, right?”
“Well, yeah, I guess so… but do people really practice mummification as a way to get off?”
“Anything’s possible and, besides, I don’t kink shame so, if a person likes it and their partner consents to it, have at it. Not my place to judge. But it is my place to set my own boundaries and respect those of the people I’m with.”
Satisfied with my explanations, everyone agrees that the hard limits I’ve set for myself can be attributed to each of them as well, happy to not be branded, willingly or not.
“As for soft limits, I’m up for trying pretty much everything else I didn’t already mention.” Taking a deep breath, I prepare myself to reveal something I've kept even more hidden, deep within the recesses of my past. Something none of them really have any idea about. They may have had a hunch from what we’ve done together with Aly, but I’ve never given full confirmation.
“For the sake of transparency, I have been in BDSM relationships in the past. While I’m naturally dominant and enjoy the responsibility that comes with it, I have experienced both sides of the coin in that respect. So, if you have any questions about any of it, feel free to ask.
"Also, don’t automatically think that means I like to dole out pain. Quite the contrary, in fact. From my own experience, my methods of teaching or correction can be rather enjoyable.”
I pause at that little bombshell and let them absorb the information. People that are new to the lifestyle can often times place stereotypes where they shouldn’t be. While some in a dominant position enjoy enacting pain on their subs, I like to offer pleasure. I’m not a sadist by any means, but as soon as someone hears the letters B.D.S.M., they immediately go to whips and chains, bruises and pain. That’s not always the case.
“Don’t worry, though, I won’t go there with any of you unless you wish to do so with me. I just wanted to let you know, anything’s fair game, and if I can be open and reveal something like this without fear of repercussions, you should each feel free to do so, as well.”
Aly shifts on the floor, pursing her lips. I can see the question there right along with her reluctance to ask it. “Go ahead and ask, beautiful. Your questions can’t possibly scare me,” I say. She nods in return, coming to terms with herself at my encouragement.
“Can a person, or rather… can I, possibly, have like a tester session or, I don’t know, a training session? Is that a thing? You know to see what I’m getting into before we do it on the regular?” Aly asks.
“Of course, nothing is ever set in stone. People are allowed to change and the guidelines we’re setting up todayand in the future are allowed to change, as well,” I reply, attempting to reassure them.
Aly nods in understanding. Although she doesn’t say anything more on the subject, she does seem intrigued and curious about the topics being discussed. Lucky for her and for the rest of us, I have no problem taking baby steps.
“Like I said, there might be some stuff that I haven't tried yet, maybe things I'm not even aware of, and if we come to that cross-road, we’ll deal with it then. And remember, all of these limits can be amended or added to at any time. Open and honest, remember?” I continue.
