Page 6 of Apricity
They each nod at that but Aly scrunches her nose again. She’s more hesitant this time, her eyes widening as if she just realized something important. It nabs my attention and brings my curiosity to the forefront.
“What’s up, beautiful?”
“You didn’t say anything about limiting activities to just you and me.” She bites her lip, taking a second. “What if… what if I was interested in seeing something that involved you...,” She tilts her head in emphasis, “on a more intimate basis, with like…” then waves her hand around the group, pausing on Hawk and Jax, without finishing her thought out loud.
Oooh, she is a clever girl.
“You’re absolutely right. I didn’t mention any limit to that effect.”
I’ve tried a lot in my years as an adult. Some of which might shock them to learn about me. But that’s a discussionfor another day. This conversation is already like walking on a tight rope. We don’t need anyone to fall off due to information overload.
Her eyes widen as she jerks her head back, surprised and maybe even confused at my response. I can see her head filling with even more questions right before my eyes but before she gets too carried away with that little nugget of valuable information, I continue.
“I know this is a lot to take in but I believe it’s proactive of us to consider being direct and truthful while also providing each other this information judgement free. We’re all fucking together with Aly. I mean that sentence in both of the ways it can be perceived because it’s correct either way.” I focus on each of their overwhelmed faces.
Their reactions are understandable and expected. Especially when you take into consideration the turn the day just took into crazy town, as well as that little bomb I just planted in their heads. Time to adjust. “Tell you what, take a day or two and think about what you might want to try, what you’re curious about, anything you might want to bring up and we’ll regroup on this particular topic in a few days. How’s that sound?” After looking at each other, and then to me, they all agree, and I can just about see the weight being catapulted off of their shoulders.
“Alright, enough of the heavy." I point a finger in Jax’s direction as I stand and take three steps to where the kitchenette is. "Whaddya need help with? I’d say it’s about time to rustle up some grub, how ‘bout you?”He points back enthusiastically as he moves to join me by the stove,probably thankful that conversation is done and over with. At least for now.
They might think they know themselves, but they have no idea. They’re about to be more self-aware than they’ve ever been in their lives.
Chapter 4
Hawk
Jax hops up to join Cole in the kitchen so I take advantage of some alone time with Aly, wrapping my arms around her waist and dragging her back onto my lap where she belongs. She fits like she was made for me. My missing puzzle piece. My sweetheart.
My heart.
Pressing my lips to the junction between her neck and shoulder, I can feel the shiver I create at the light touch. I can’t imagine a time when the feel of her skin on mine and mine on hers won’t completely overtake my senses and send me into a spiral of lust and need. I want to touch her everywhere, smell her arousal as it spills out of her, taste her perfection, hear her cries as I press into her, and see how herorgasm completely tears her apart before we put her back together.
I’ve never been one to fall in love, but for Aly, I’ve fallen hard and fallen fast. She’s my everything and without her I’m a miserable bag of nothing. I don’t want to say that I’m jealous, it’s not that. It’s more like suffocating and starving at the same time.
At the estate, I was, at least, able to have my little one-on-one date times with her. Fishing in the morning or just the two of us at night when she kicked Cole out of the room. That was before Jax joined us all, falling for her just as deeply as we had.
But here? In a one-room cabin congested to the roof with the four of us? It’s just not possible. We’re constantly on top of each other. Can’t even take a shit without everyone else hearing. It’s almost always “all-of-us” time. And the small snippets when she actuallyisalone with only one of us is always for a purpose. Those times when it’s not with me, I end up moping around the kitchen or sitting on the front porch like a kid that just spilled his ice cream cone on the ground. I feel like my heart leaves when she goes.
I don’t even have an outlet to refocus my irritable mind when I get skittish like this anymore. I used to rely on my music, but ever since the estate went kaboom with all my tunes inside, I’ve been stuck in perpetual silence. That is, until she comes around and brings life to everything. But when she’s not around…
It’s painful, empty, foreign… I don’t like it.
Just the other day, I stood there staring out the window like a lost puppy while Cole took her to meditate or some shit out back behind the cabin. It was his attempt to calm her recent anxiety attacks caused by her kidnapping earlier this year. They’re not frequent, but when they come, they stop her dead in her tracks. The meditation or whatever they were doing outside seemed to help calm her in the moment but it does nothing to prevent them all together.
It surprised me when he suggested it but, after giving it some thought, I guess it shouldn’t have. Cole’s a medical professional, or at least that was his career choice before it no longer mattered anymore. The fact that he knows so much about the mind and how to calm her overactive nerves is impressive. Just as he impressed me with his knowledge of BDSM.
For years I had no idea about the kinky shit that fucker was into. Thinking back to when we were still at the estate and even when we first took over Jax’s cabin, a whole new side of him was exposed to both myself and Jax. Sure, we’ve lived with the guy, but he never brought back anyone to fool around with. And we definitely never shared before Aly so of course there’s bound to be some stuff we were unaware of. But Cole’s on another level all together. While Jax and I are sitting here thinking we’re dungeon masters, we’re just looking stupid as hell as a love sick bard and a butt hurt barbarian while Cole’s a fucking wizard for crying out loud. A stealthy ass kink wizard.
A Kinkizard!
New Pokémon unlocked…
Thinking back to our little family meeting suddenly has me curious and intrigued. Cole didn’t explicitly state his experience in detail but by only saying he’s not into a handful of things and making everything else a possibility is a little humbling. I find myself wondering if I’m able to be as adventurous as the formershy oneof the group.
“Chow’s up!” Jax calls from the other side of the room. As if the awesome smells coming from that corner couldn’t have possibly indicated anything otherwise. But then again, with me in my head over all this shit, he could have probably put a bowl in front of me and I wouldn’t have spared it a glance.
This isn’t me. The overanalyzing. The insecurity. That’s more Jax’s style. Even the jealousy thing isn’t me. I don’t know what my problem is. Maybe the close proximity- being stuck in a one room cabin the size of a shoebox- is getting to me. I love my brothers as much as I love Aly, but… I don’t know. I guess I just need something to look forward to.
With the estate, it was the same old same old. Do your runs, get the supplies, go fishing, mess with the bitchy ass chickens, maybe swim in the lake. There was stuff to do even if it was a bit redundant. Then, Aly came into our lives and everything was new again, like I was seeing it through her eyes. Now, here in this place, I just feel... stagnant.
