Page 74 of Anathema
“Won’t be a problem.” I cut him off, swallowing the bile that burned the back of my throat at the thought of him. “Eli is andwas nothing to me. I want you, Derek. I’ve always wanted you.” I chose him from the start, and I would never choose otherwise.
Wrapping my arms around his waist, I pressed myself up against his hard, wet body. The shower was now turning cold, and I didn’t care. I could feel his heart beating against my cheek as I took a deep breath and relaxed into him, his arms closing around me tightly.
Moments of silence passed as we stood there, the cold water from the shower hitting my back and causing a shiver to run up my spine. I didn’t want to move from this spot. My mind was still slowly processing everything that had happened.
“Did anyone touch you?” Derek mumbled, resting his chin on my head.
“Does it matter?” I asked, staring blankly ahead at the shower curtain.
He gripped my chin, bringing my face up to meet his.
“Of course, it matters; you were covered in blood when we found you. Why do you constantly do this to yourself?” He questioned, frowning in concern.
“Do what?”
“Act as though you deserve for bad things to happen to you.” He sighed, pressing his forehead to mine. “You don’t deserve to be hurt, Lex. Even if you have a little extra bite to you.”
“Speaking of bite…” I mumbled, pressing my lips together. “The blood wasn’t mine… entirely…” My eyes dropped from his.
Derek pulled back in shock, giving me a look of disbelief. I knew exactly what I looked like when he found me: dried blood caked down my chin, neck, and chest. I hoped it would have goneunnoticed in all the chaos, but I guess he paid more attention than I gave him credit for.
“What happened?” He pressed.
“They—they tried… one of them cornered me in a cell and tried to rape me.” I stuttered, unable to say the words. Speaking them out loud, making the memory all too real. I had pushed everything to the back of my mind, hoping I wouldn’t have to endure it again.
I could feel Derek seething, the rage that was rising within him. His grip tightened around my body, and I realized that my body had started trembling, and not from the cold water. I was crying. Breaking. My legs gave in, and my entire body sagged in his arms.
Without another word, Derek shut off the water and picked me up, cradling my soaking-wet body as he carried me into the bedroom, crawled onto the mattress, and wrapped me in the blankets before pulling me onto his lap. I didn’t move from my balled-up position, my head wedged under his chin, up against his neck.
“I’ve got you, pretty viper.” He softly repeated as he rocked me back and forth. “I’ve got you…” And he truly did. He had all of me; he just didn’t know it yet.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, barely audible over my sniffling and whimpering cries. “I’m so sorry, Derek.” My voice cracked as his hand stroked over my wet and tangled hair.
“We’ve got an entire lifetime to work through this.” He reassured me. “I’m not going anywhere without you.”A promise.
I don’t know how we got here, defeating all the odds I had stacked against us from the very beginning. Tilting my head to look up at him, I raised a hand to cup his cheek, tears still streakingdown my own and his stubble rough against my palm. I stared longingly into his eyes, taking in every shade of brown and gold that perfected them.
“I’ll do whatever it takes,” I choked out. “To show you that I mean every single apology I have for you.” There was so much that I now regretted. The impulses, the need to make everything a fight with him.
Derek’s hand cupped the back of mine as he brought his lips down to meet mine, and I parted them as he kissed me deeply, passionately. I moan into his mouth, and he lays me back on the bed, pulling himself on top of me.
My arms wrap around the back of his head, fingers threading themselves through his slick, wet strands.
“All I’ll ever ask of you is to be open with me, to love me, and to be mine forever, pretty viper.” He murmured against my lips. “That’s all I need from you. You already have all of me.”
Tears started falling from my sore and swollen eyes again, my heart squeezing with just how much he was giving me—how much he had already given me. The feeling was overwhelming.
It was him and me.
It always was and always would be.
Derek was everything I needed.
“I love you, pretty boy.” I breathed, staring deeply into his eyes—the sincerity of my words taking its hold.
“I’ve always loved you, pretty viper.” Derek smiled.
This was love.
