Page 11 of Dark Shaman: Love Found
"To me, they are priceless treasures. He gave me my sister's face and the face of my beloved as I saw him and as others saw him as well. Such gifts are immeasurable."
Hildegard was quiet for a moment. "Is that why you're visiting Tim?"
Perceptive. Annani appreciated directness, even from those who might be considered presumptuous for asking. "I wanted to check on Tim's progress, but you're right that I have other concerns."
"Anything I can help with?"
"Not unless you can explain why my sister missed our scheduled call today." The words slipped out before Annani could stop them, worry overriding her usual discretion.
Not everyone was aware of her communications with her sister, but Hildegard was one of those who knew.
The nurse's expression shifted to understanding. "I'm sorry. That must be frightening, not knowing the why of it."
"She has missed a call only once before. Navuh surprised her with an unexpected visit. I keep telling myself that is what occurred today, but worry doesn't listen to logic."
Hildegard nodded. "I understand perfectly. Every time a patient takes longer than expected to wake from transition, logic and the docs tell me that they're fine. But I still check their vitals obsessively and jump at every small change." Hildegard gestured to Tim. "I can monitor him, adjust his fluids, and keep him comfortable. But ultimately, his transformation will proceed at its own pace. Just like your sister's situation—you can maintain communication, treasure your calls, but you can't control Navuh's actions or protect her from across the ocean."
It was presumptuous, but it was also accurate, and Annani appreciated the nurse's straightforward approach. "You would have made an excellent philosopher."
Hildegard laughed. "Too much time in my own head during long shifts. It's an occupational hazard." She picked up the discarded book. "Would you like me to continue reading? Sometimes a distraction helps with worry."
"Thank you, but no. I should take my leave and stop by to visit with my son." Annani took a final look at Tim. "Take good care of him, Hildegard. He's more fragile than he pretends to be."
"Aren't we all?" Hildegard murmured, but Annani was already heading out the door.
The walk from the clinic to the office building was short, and as she climbed the stairs to the second floor, Shai walked out of his office to greet her.
"Kian is expecting you, Clan Mother." He led her to Kian's door. "You can go right in."
"Thank you." She cast him a smile.
Kian stood as she entered, coming around his desk to greet her. "Mother. Shai said you wanted to see me. Is something wrong? Usually, you just call."
"I need..." She paused, suddenly uncertain. What did she need? There was nothing Kian could do about Areana's missed call, no action he could take. "I needed not to be alone with my worry."
Understanding softened his expression. "Areana? Kalugal told me that she didn't call you today."
"It is Wednesday, and she missed her weekly call." The words came out carrying all the fear she had been trying to suppress.
Kian guided her to one of the chairs in front of his desk and sat on the other. "When was the last time she missed a call?"
"Months ago. When Navuh surprised her with a visit." Annani twisted her hands in her lap. "I have told myself that is what happened today. He changed his schedule, caught her off guard. She will call tomorrow when she can."
"That seems like the most logical explanation."
"Logic and emotion rarely coexist peacefully." She forced her hands to stillness.
"Could there be a technical problem?"
She shook her head. "William says it is unlikely, even though it is monsoon season over there. He suggested that Areana did not want to come out in the rain, but she has done so plenty of times before. It rains often on the island, and she just takes an umbrella with her." She met Kian's concerned gaze. "I know there is nothing to be done, and I know that worrying serves no purpose, but knowing and feeling are two different things."
"You're allowed to worry about your sister," Kian said gently. "I'd say that it's only human, but you are pure goddess with no human genes in you. And yet you show more humanity than most. You are pure love."
"Sometimes I think love is the cruelest gift the Fates can give us. It makes us vulnerable, giving our enemies a weapon to use against us. If I did not love Areana, her silence would not have the power to undo me like this."
"And if you didn't love her, the weekly calls wouldn't bring you such joy," Kian countered. "The vulnerability is the price we pay for connection. For joy."
Philosophical discussions with her pragmatic son. How strange life could be. "You are starting to sound like Syssi."
