Page 80 of Bad Boy Next Door
“Werethe Brute Squad,” I corrected.
“Yeah, right.”
“You just said you were done with it. Was that a lie?”
“No.” He cupped my face in his hands. “I told my brothers I was done. A while ago. Before I met you…”
That was a relief, yet nerves woke new fears.
I was happy with his answer, but not my question. I’d sounded like a girlfriend, or a wife. That’s not what we were. Were we? Full-blown panic invaded.
“Not that I get a say in what you do,” I said quickly. “I don’t care…”
His shoulders jerked back.
Fuck. I was treading in waters—with huge rapids—I lacked the skills to navigate. “Of course I care what happens to you, Nick. I don’t want to see you in jail.” I closed my eyes for a second. “But I don’t have any right—”
“Jade.” He held my face in his hands. “It’s okay if you care what happens to me. I like that you do. I care what happens toyou.” He shook his head. “Maybe a little too much, like tonight. Seeing you on stage like that—”
“Now you’re saying I can’t be a dancer?”
“That’s not what I said.”
My emotions were flip-flopping like crazy. I expected him to be frustrated, even angry, but he stayed calm, patient as we talked this out.
I liked that he cared about me and my life. I just wasn’t sure Ilikedthat I liked it.
I was independent—a badass—and letting Nick in was chipping away at the person I thought I was. I had never let anyone but a boss tell me what to do. And even with bosses, I had pretty hard limits.
“Sorry.” I shifted against him and lay my head on his chest. “I know I’m all over the place. Guess I have a knee-jerk reaction when someone tells me what to do.”
“I’d never tell you what to do, Jade, but I care, so I have opinions.” His hand stroked my thigh. “I want that to be okay with you. Just like it’s okay for you to have opinions about my life.”
That sounded an awful lot like a relationship, but instead of putting me off, his words spawned warm fuzzies in my belly. And down lower.
“My dad was a two-bit criminal.” I needed Nick to understand all my crazy. “He was alwaysaroundcrime, organized crime—doing favors, lookout stuff, giving and getting information. But mostly he was a petty thief. Broke into places…”
I snuggled under his arm. “Frank stayed on the fringes of the gangster life, but I saw what a toll it took—on his life, on Crystal’s and mine. He was always in and out of jail, never able to find a good job, always afraid of being caught, even when he wasn’t doing anything wrong. I can’t…”I can’t ever be with a criminal.
I couldn’t quite say the words. Not because it wasn’t true, but because of what the words implied—that I wanted to be with Nick, that I was thinking about him in those terms—long-term. That I was thinking about forever.
Nick cupped my face with his hands, lifting my gaze to meet his. “I already quit doing stuff with my brothers, but even if I hadn’t, I would now. You make me want to be better, Jade.
“I get that you won’t be with a criminal. You’re too good for that, and it’s one of the things I love about you. And after what you’ve gone through with your dad…” He kissed me softly. “Don’t worry. I’m out of that life.”
One of the things he loved about me… The wordlovefilled my chest as his kiss erased my fears, taking me to places even more foreign and wonderful than sleeping over.
And I liked it. Ilovedit. I might even love Nick. But it all seemed too much to contemplate at once. Too scary to imagine. I needed to lighten the mood…
I pulled back from the kiss. “Hey, you’re still my sex slave for the rest of the week, right?”
He nodded. “What is your command?”
I grinned. “You. On the bed. Now.”
