Page 30 of Bad Habit
“Faith.” I took hold of her wrist before her hand drifted any closer to my cock. “You’re more than a little drunk. Plus, you’ve had a lot of new experiences tonight.”
Her fingers trailed along my hip. “I want one more.”
I grabbed her hand. “Do you still plan to become a nun?”
“Of course. But I want to try sex. Just once. I mean, just so I can counsel the married parishioners, and understand what they’re talking about. Please?”
The word almost made me crumble, but I had to stay strong. “Sex. That’s something you should decide in the light of day, when you’re sober. When you’ve had time to think it through. Maybe talked to your friend about it first?” I wanted to cut out my own tongue for sabotaging my chance to be inside this woman.
“Sister Henry said it would be okay.”
My head snapped back a little, shocked at this news.
“Let’s make a deal then.” I cleared my throat. “Give it a day or two. Think about it. If you still want to see what sex is like, then baby, I am more than willing to help you with that.”
She sighed her disappointment, but then a soft smile spread over her face and I knew I’d won the argument, even though my dick was arguing we’d lost.
“Deal?” I asked.
“Deal.”
I helped her into the car and held her as we drove back over the bridge toward home.
My whole life, I’d gone after everything I’d wanted, I’d always been content with my lot and sure of my choices, yet suddenly I couldn’t figureanythingout. Nothing in my life seemed clear.
I was a master at getting what I wanted, and I’d just talked Faith out of doing exactly what I wanted. And I wanted Faith more than I’d wanted any woman in my entire life.
* * *
Faith
Ileaned against the plaster wall at the head of my bed. A light breeze blew through the window beside me, making the curtain dance.
Stretching my fingers, I let the fabric graze my skin, and the light touch of the fabric teased my senses, heightened the arousal I’d been fighting all day. Even the slight headache I’d woken with hadn’t deterred the heated memories of Mac and our kissing.
I’d wanted so much more last night, I would have let him do whatever he wanted—with me, to me—but he’d been right to stop it. Such a gentleman.
He was right, though. This was an important decision. I was a virgin, and yesterday I thought I’d remain one my entire life, like our blessed Mary—although one of the many things I’d learned since Mother died was that there was controversy surrounding the Virgin Mary and whether she might have had other childrenafterJesus, but no matter what some theologians believed, that was one area where I still believed what Mother had taught me. The Virgin Mary had remained pure her whole life.
And that’s what I’d planned for my life. But I wasn’t a nun yet…
I ran my hand down my thigh, shocked at how the slight movement in my slacks fabric stimulated the place between my legs. I couldn’t go on like this—consumed by thoughts of Mac and what he might do to me.
The only answer was to go through with it. Now that real desire had awoken inside me, the only cure was to quench it. Once my curiosity was sated, my lust would be sated, too. Premarital sex was a mortal sin, but who among us was without sin? I’d confess, do penance…
All would be different once I took my vows, but until then, a little experimentation couldn’t hurt. And if I didn’t try, I’d go mad with want.
Someone knocked on my door.
Mac? Was he here?
“Yes?”
Sister Agatha opened the door. “Faith, you have a visitor.”
Itwashim. Every nerve in my body danced so wildly I had trouble containing my limbs as I rose and crossed the small room to the door.
“A visitor?” I cleared my dry throat.
