Page 35 of Bad Habit
Five
Faith
Mac avoided me in the days following our date, and after four very long days, I wondered if I’d ever see him again. It hurt to think he could be done with me, and I tried to focus my mind elsewhere as I broke the children into two teams.
And then there he was, sauntering onto the court and barely giving me a nod as he got the game going. My heart soared at the sight of him, then dove. Throughout the hour-long game, he barely talked to me. Barely even looked at me. Twice I suspected he’d been staring, but I couldn’t be sure as he quickly looked away.
It was okay, I told myself. He was being respectful, not wanting to show affection in front of the children.Please let that be the explanation.
As the game wrapped up, Mac helped Jael, one of the smaller girls, line up a shot at the basket. He retrieved the ball when she missed so she could try again. It reminded me of when he’d taught me to shoot, and it warmed my heart. On her fifth attempt, Jael stomped her foot in frustration and started to walk away, but Mac handed her the ball and lifted her up toward the basket. She squealed with glee when the ball passed through the net.
Mac was so kind and patient with the children, and it made me like him and trust him even more than I already did. Mother had warned me that men only wanted one thing from women and would stop at nothing until they got it, but that wasn’t true in Mac’s case. I’d offered him exactly what men supposedly wanted, and he’d said no. That I should wait.
I’d done as he’d suggested, but the sober light of day had not changed my mind. In fact, the more time passed, the more certain I was that I wanted to try sex. I wanted it a lot.
My bloodstream no longer contained alcohol, but Mac was most certainly lodged there. My blood, my entire body felt carbonated, effervescent like that wine we’d had in the limousine.
“It’s 4:30,” I told the children the second my watch hit the half hour, and they scattered, some shouting their goodbyes to Mac and me before they disappeared.
As Mac walked with Jeremy toward the gate, my stomach tightened. Was he going to leave without even talking to me?
“Mac!” I shouted. “May I have a word with you? Please?”
He turned and nodded. I picked up one of the basketballs, spotting the other one close to the fence.
Mac jogged over to pick it up, and we met mid-court. “What’s up?” He looked at my forehead, not my eyes.
“You done?” a male voice shouted.
“Yeah,” Mac shouted to the group of young men and women entering the court, and then he tipped his head toward the exit, and we walked off the court together.
“Mac.” I hugged the basketball into my stomach in a vain attempt to quiet its somersaulting. “I’m not sure now to say this.” What was the matter with me? I knew exactly what I wanted to say, so why couldn’t I spit it out? It felt odd like this, walking along a busy sidewalk in the sunshine. “Can we go for a cup of coffee?”
“Sure.” He tossed the ball between his hands. “Coffee is good. Beer is better. We could stop into Duffy’s on the way past?”
“Duffy’s?”
“The bar on the corner, across from St. Iggy’s.”
“There’s a bar so close to the church?”
“Sure is. When I was a kid, that’s where the men hung out when their wives and kids were at Mass and Sunday school.”
“Really?” Every day I learned more and more about how real people lived. “Is that where your father went?
“Sure. But he didn’t need Mass as an excuse.”
“So your mother took you and your brothers to church.”
He shook his head. “Ma died when Nicky was born. Dill and I were only two.”
I stopped and gasped. Wishing I had a free hand to comfort him, I almost dropped the basketball. He turned back toward me from a few feet ahead, the sun highlighting his brown curls, kissing his strong nose and cheekbones and focusing my attention on his utter handsomeness.
I hated to be shallow, especially during such a serious discussion, but Mac was one of the most attractive human beings I’d ever encountered. I couldn’t understand how everyone, man or woman, didn’t stop to gape as we passed. For me, the mere sight of Mac made the bubbles in my bloodstream dance.
“I’m so sorry for your loss,” I finally said.
He smiled and looked into my eyes. “It was a long time ago. I don’t even remember her. Not really.”
