Page 78 of Bad Habit
“Yup. Plus I have four brothers. Never got a moment alone.”
“What is it?” she asked. “You’re smiling to yourself.”
“Oh, just thinking about how hard it was to get alone time growing up.”
“To relax?”
I leaned forward. “To jerk off.”
“What does that mean?”
“Pleasuring yourself. Masturbating.”
One hand rose to her cheek. “Oh!”
“Let’s just say, with five teenaged boys sharing two bedrooms and one bathroom between us, it was hard to get any privacy.”
“Is that something you did… often?”
“You could say that.”
Her eyes opened wide.
“It’s a normal teenaged thing. For boys, anyway, but girls too I think. The nuns didn’t even bother to lecture us about self-abuse.” I put the words in air quotes. “Not like they did when our Da was a kid.”’
“The nunsapproved?”
“Well, ‘approved’ might be taking it too far, but they didn’t tell us we were going to Hell, or that we’d go blind, or anything.”
“That can happen?”
I shook my head. “Nuns used to say stuff like that to kids to scare them. But now… pleasuring yourself is recognized as part of a healthy sex life.”
She sighed softly. “I have so much to learn.”
“You’re a fast learner.”
She shook her head. “I couldn’t figure out the rules to that dice game.”
“Craps? That’s not exactly an important life skill. You didn’t like gambling, did you.”
“Was it that obvious?” She winced. “I don’t want to seem ungrateful.”
“I don’t think that’s possible.”
“I just don’t see the point of gambling.” Her hand rested softly on the table.
“Some people get a thrill from it. Almost a high.”
Her lips twisted to the side. “Even though it was your money, I felt sick every time I wagered a chip—maybebecauseit was your money.”
“But you won a few times.”
“Even then.” She shook her head. “Everything about gambling felt wrong.”
I picked up her hand and kissed her knuckles. “So, I guess greed’s not your favorite sin.” She hadn’t loved the shopping spree, either, even though she looked amazing in all the nice clothes, none more than the sequined gown she was wearing tonight.
“Guess not.”
