Page 80 of Bad Habit
“Am I? Really?” I cocked my head to the side. “My main skill is to make people feel comfortable, to manipulate them into giving me what I want.”
I swallowed to wet my dry throat. “That’s what I’ve been doing with you. Manipulating you to get what I want.”
She shook her head. “No.”
I shrugged, but my neck was so tense the motion hurt. “I wanted to fuck you. Wanted to know what it would be like to fuck a nun. That’s all this was.”
Her eyes filled with hurt, and she blinked a few times, looking into my eyes. I wanted to look away, get my gaze to safety, but I steeled my expression. If I ever needed my skills of persuasion, this was the time.
“I don’t believe you,” she said. “That’s not all this was. What’s happened between us, our friendship, our conversations, our lovemaking. It wasn’t fake.”
“Okay.” I caved. “It wasn’t fake, but you don’tloveme. You can’t. You shouldn’t. I’m bad for you. So wrong. You have no idea.”
She cupped my cheek. “I know you’ve done bad things, but that doesn’t mean you’re a bad person, Mac. One of the reasons I love you is because you regret the bad things you’ve done. Because you want to be better.”
I shook my head. Ididwant to be better. For her—and for me. But even if I reached my highest potential, I’d never be good enough for Faith.
On the goodness scale, we were so many miles apart that even if I reached my summit, I’d be dragging her down. The one really good thing I could do, the best thing, theonlything was to convince her that her love was misplaced.
“I am not the man you think I am.” I grabbed her ass and kissed her, hard, bruising her lips with mine as I ground my erection into her soft belly.
She broke the kiss and looked into my eyes. “You can’t fool me. You might know how to win people’s favor, you might think it’s all tricks and deception, but Iseeyou.”
She pressed her hand against my chest. “If you’re good at doing deals, it’s because you consider other people’s feelings. You can’t disguise who you really are, Mac. Not from me. You’re good and worthy, and you would never do anything to hurt me or anyone, not intentionally.”
Her words warmed my insides, almost made me want to believe I was the man she saw, but I needed to stay strong. I needed to show her. She had no idea who I was—who I really was.
I grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the elevators. “I’m going to take you back to the room, and then I’m going to show you just how bad I really am.”
* * *
Faith
Standing behind me on the elevator, Mac slid his hand up the slit at the back of my dress, lifting the fabric, then pushed his hand forward, rubbing his fingers over my underwear.
“Mac!” I squirmed to get away from him, but his other arm clamped around my waist, holding me tight.
“There are other people here,” I whispered.
“So?” He growled into my ear as he stroked the dampening fabric.
An elderly couple turned their gaze away, but a man with a heavy belly looked at me so lewdly I wanted to throw up.
I turned away from his gaze, and then Mac’s fingers found their way under the fabric and pushed inside me from behind.
I gasped at the unexpected intrusion, squirming, feeling my entire body contract around the new center of my body—his fingers.
Then I realized my squirming was only drawing more attention, so I tried not to move, not to show the other three people my discomfort, my arousal, my shame, but I was like a hand-puppet, impaled on Mac’s plunging fingers as the other hand gripped my upper body, keeping me captive and just where he wanted.
The elevator doors opened. No one moved, then as the doors started to close, the man stopped them and stepped out. He turned and wiggled his protruding tongue at me as they closed again.
If Mac noticed, he didn’t react. He held me tightly as his fingers continued to push inside me, nearly lifting me a few times with the force. I’d never been so embarrassed, but my body didn’t seem to share my shame, taking its pleasure from Mac’s plunging fingers. Would I be able to stay quiet if he touched my clit?
The doors opened again and the older couple left the car, the man shaking his head in disgust. Just as the doors were about to close, the elegant white-haired woman looked back at me and winked.
The instant the doors closed, Mac bent me forward at the waist, then pumped his fingers inside me, fast and hard.
“Oh!” My knees buckled, but that only added to the depth his fingers were reaching inside me.
