Page 37 of Desired for Her Blood
“You sure you want to hear this?”
She nods, blinking back tears and trying to disguise the pain behind them.
“On nights when I wasn’t forced to fight, the captain would put me in shackles and the other officers would whip me, cut me, punch me, until I’d pass out from the pain.
“This scar—“ I lift her hand to my collarbone “—and this one—” I slide it down to my lower ribs. “And all the marks on my back…” I shake my head. “They’d whip and cut me, and then rub salt in my wounds to increase the pain and make sure I’d scar. The pain was so bad the rapes felt like relief.”
“Oh, Ryker.” A few tears escape onto her cheeks and I brush them away.
“But soon, after passing out, I’d wake feeling strong, recovered, the cuts already turned into scars, as if I’d been unconscious for weeks, not hours.”
“Because they used their venom or their blood on you while you were unconscious.”
I nod. “But the worst part…” I close my eyes to hide the shame.
“What?” she asks softly.
“The worse part is I’d wake with a fucking hard on. So stiff I couldn’t keep my hips still, even though I was bound. And laughing, they’d fuck me, or suck me off, and…and I liked it.” My voice tightens, but she strokes my chest gently.
“Soon, they started to make mebegfor the sex.” I look away. “And I did. I fuckingbeggedthem to relieve the overwhelming tension inside me.”
“I can relate to how that feels.” She shakes her head. “No. I’m sorry. It’s not the same. Not even close. The urges I’ve felt with vampire venom or blood in my body… It’s different to feel a desperate need for sex from someone you…youcareabout.” She presses a kiss against my chest. “I’m sorry to equate it.”
“No.” I cup her face. “It helps that you understand the unrelenting ferocity of the drive I felt.” I run my hand down her throat and her back, and then make tiny circles on the soft skin above her ass.
She sighs, her legs shifting slightly and I can smell her arousal, sense how hard she’s fighting to hide it. I want to do something about that, but now the floodgates are opened, I first want to finish my story.
“At some point,” I continue, “they started to tell me about life as a vampire. How I would live forever as a young man, how I would have inconceivable strength and power, how I’d survive on human blood.”
I shake my head. “They wanted me to join them as an officer on the ship and they made it sound fucking appealing.”
“Even knowing you started the mutiny?”
Nodding, I stroke her back. “I can’t be sure why they killed the others and spared me. But I was tall and strong and…and the Captain alwayslikedme.” I turn away from her.
I can’t face her because not only did the captain like me, even after all this torture and abuse, even after being trapped in that tiny cage for so long, I still sought his approval, I basked under his praise. My father had been dead for so long, and the captain filled an emotional hole I hadn’t realized was there.
But as much as I sought his admiration, I hated him. Hated him with a fiery passion, even more once I learned what he was.
I shake my head. “This torture went on for a while,” I continue. “They were losing patience with me, getting bored.” I shake my head. “And they didn’t want to hold me captive for so long that my body would lose muscle.
“When a human is turned,” I tell her, “their physical appearance is enhanced. Vampires become amplified versions of their human selves, but the transition can’t create something that’s not already there, or erase it.”
“That’s why your scars…”
“All from when I was human. The tattoos too.” I hold up one of my hands. “I tried to get another tattoo after I turned, but the ink started to disappear even before the artist was finished, so I fled midway, not wanting to reveal the truth.”
“So, every time you’re hurt, or injured, your body just returns to how it was before you were a vampire?” She looks into my eyes with genuine interest. “It never changes?”
“Yup. I look exactly the same as I did the night I was turned.”
“That’s kind of amazing.” Her voice is full of awe. And she breathes several long breaths before breaking the silence again. “How did they convince you? Or…did they turn you against your will?”
“In hindsight, it wasabsolutelyagainst my will. But at the time, I begged for it.” I drag in a shuddering breath, and pull her against me so she can’t see my eyes.
“After weeks of trying to talk me into becoming a vampire, they changed their tune, said I didn’t deserve it.” They untied me. Made me to degrading humiliating things to earn my right to be a vampire.
“They made me beg,” I tell her, “and then the process itself. It was horrible. Painful.”
