Page 41 of Desired for Her Blood
He nods, looking more earnest than I expected. My attempt at a joke, trying to make the wordthinkinga euphemism for masturbation went over like a lead balloon.
“What were you thinking about?” I ask him softly.
“About you.” He shifts and I feel the unmistakable hardness of him against my hip. Is he hard again—or still?
“I was thinking about my commitment to lifetime fidelity.”
I nod, my heart beating faster now. While I wouldlovefor Axe to tell me that he’s willing to break the lifetime monogamy thing, I’m not sure my body could take more sex right now. Especially not given his massive size. And I can’t even begin to reconcile my desire for Axe with how I feel about Ryker.
“Any conclusions?” I ask softly.
He nods. “Grizzly customs don’t anticipate one of us becoming a vampire and having such a long life span. Don’t consider one of us outliving our mate by many lifetimes.”
His eyes closed, he takes a few long breaths and his hardness slides against my hip.
“Since meeting you,” he says, “what I’ve been feeling seems wrong. Unfaithful.”
His eyes open, and I gasp at their golden glow, so prominent in this dim light. I nod, hoping my expression shows the understanding and compassion I feel in my heart. But I fear those emotions might be overshadowed by desire and hope.
“Because of my clan’s customs,” he says, “and my deep, never-ending love for my wife, I never imagined that I would develop feelings for another woman. Deep feelings like I have for you.”
My breath catches in my chest. “You havefeelingsfor me?”
“You have no idea.” His eyes close for a moment. “I know it’s soon, but grizzlies always fall fast and hard, and from the moment when you trusted me to warm you, while I was still in bear form, I knew.”
“Knew what?” The words come out without enough air.
“That I love you.”
My heart’s racing now, my breaths coming too fast. I forgot to breathe while he spoke.
“You don’t need to respond,” he says. “I don’t expect you to feel the same way.”
“But…” My words won’t come. My heart is too big to let them out. My mind’s too confused to form them.
He cups my face. “It’s okay, Ember. Even if Ryker weren’t in the picture, I could never claim you as mine, because even though I love you I can’t ever…” He shakes his head. “In spite of my love, which is strong and everlasting, and you should never doubt, I don’t think I can ever give myself to you—not fully.”
And now Ireallydon’t know how to respond. My feelings for Axe have expanded, intensified so much, but I just realized today that I love Ryker…I can’t process this right now.
“Thank you for your honesty.” I stroke his chest. “I’m overwhelmed right now. But I do have feelings for you, Axe.Strongfeelings. And they’re not just sexual. Not just there when I’ve had vampire blood.”
He presses a kiss against the top of my head. “Hearing that is more than enough for me. And you have my solemn word. You are my clan now, and I will always protect you.”
I lean into him. I’ve never felt more secure that someone is telling me the truth. And the tender feelings I’ve felt for Axe, since the moment I realized his paw was injured, engulf me again.
“How did that silver get into your paw—your hand,” I correct myself quickly.
“You can call my body parts what they are,” he says. “Paw, hand, snout, nose—no matter which form I’m in, I won’t be offended.”
“Good to know.”
His fingers slide into my hair to cup the back of my head. “The silver got there during a fight.” His eyes narrow. “The other side cheated.”
“A fight with other vampires down here?”
“The wolf shifters.”
“Oh!” That is not the answer I anticipated. I’d almost forgotten seeing that room with a mixture of wolves and men on my first day down here.
