“But that’s not certain?” My mind is swimming in a vat of confusion and fear.
“That is correct.” He reaches forward to brush my cheek. “It is possible that I will need to feed you from my wrist, but either way my blood should revive you immediately and you will awaken—but could be very weak.”
I draw a thready breath. “And then?”
“Once you have fully recovered, which might take days or weeks, I will repeat the process.”
“What if she doesn’t want to try again?” Axe asks. “What if none of us wants her to.”
“By then,” Zuben says, “it will be too late. Once the process has begun, she will be forever altered. If the process is left half complete, she will deteriorate and eventually perish.”
I try to swallow my fear, but my throat is so dry it won’t go down.
“Do you agree to this transition?” Zuben asks me, solemnly.
I nod.
“You don’t have to,” Axe says, and I look up into his eyes, so full of fear. “Now that he’s explained it all, you can back out.”
For a moment I think Axe is right. This is a foolish risk. Living in this cave is better than death.
But then I think of all the things left undone. Not only my previous plans for the future, but also brand new plans—discovering more about myself, what happened to my mother, and the other people who were in that fire I remembered.
Once we’re out, I want to find a way to stop Octavia and free everyone else trapped in this dungeon. But most of all, I do not want to be the reason these men are trapped. Even if this doesn’t work, at least they’ll be able to escape.
“I want to do this. I’m ready.” I lean toward Axe, and he kisses me gently, stirring the nerves in my belly. Then I turn to Ryker who kisses me more deeply, and mid-kiss I feel and hear what seems like a sob rise from inside him.
But when he breaks away, Ryker’s got his normal devilish grin on his face.
“You’ve got this.” He squeezes my hand. “I won’t let him kill you. I promise.”
I turn back to Zuben, expecting he’ll kiss me too.
But instead he says, “This is going to hurt. I think it is best if you lie down.”
My legs start to crumple in fear, but Axe and Ryker guide me down to the furs. And then they stretch out beside me, leaving room for Zuben but still holding my hands and stroking my arms.
Straddling my body, Zuben kneels, then he leans forward, keeping his body supported with his extended arms.
He looks into my eyes. “You are certain?”
I nod.
“I need to hear it.”
“Yes. I’m certain. Let’s do this.”
Zuben bends forward. His breath is hot on my throat, and then he licks my skin there. A strangled moan seems to fight its way out of him, and vibrates his tongue against my throat.
I feel an urge to say something reassuring, but then feel a sharp stab in my neck that intensifies into blinding pain, and there’s no way I can speak.
Zuben’s lips latch around the puncture wounds and I can sense his suction, but instead of the euphoria I’ve felt with other feedings, this one brings agony.
My blood turns to fire, searing me as it moves through my veins and rushes toward Zuben’s eager lips. And then, as quickly as it turned to fire, my blood turns to ice. My body shakes.
For a second, I’m aware of Axe’s and Ryker’s hands on me, gently stroking, but then every sense in my body is consumed by ice shards, sharp and raking through my bloodstream, shredding my organs on their route toward Zuben’s mouth.
Blinded by pain, I scream. Or think that I scream, but I can’t be certain whether any sound comes out.