I still don’t want to believe what Zuben said about Ryker. But there’s no good way to view his not being back. If Zuben’s wrong, then Ryker’s in trouble—or worse, dead—and if he’s right… If Zuben’s right, then Ryker’s left me, and my heart is shattered.
But my focus right now must be on Mom. Questions bubble about her eleven-year absence. Waiting for sunset, we talked constantly, but Zuben and I were mostly answeringherquestions, filling her in on what happened to me in the past decade, not to mention over the past few weeks. We barely scratched the surface of what happened to her.
“Is it my turn to ask questions now?” I smile.
“I still have a lot to ask you, honey, but okay.” She winks. “I guess that’s fair.”
“Who took you?” I ask. “That day when I was fourteen. I know they were looking for me. Where did they take you? What did they do to you? How did you escape? And when?” My chest squeezes imagining what she might have gone through—all to protect me.
“What happened to me isn’t important.” She squeezes my hand. “I’m here now. Don’t you worry about that.”
Stopping, I turn toward her. “Notimportant? You’re kidding, right?” Clearlysomethingtraumatic happened or she would have come back.
She draws a long breath. “I wanted to spare you, but I suppose you’re right. Your whole life, I fought to keep you sheltered from the darker truths of the world and from those who would harm you.”
“Mom. I’m not a kid anymore.” I need to understand where she’s been, why she’s here now, and if she knows how I ended up here after escaping that dungeon. Because Zuben is right—that can’t be a coincidence.
“Okay,” she says as we start walking again. “You do deserve to know what happened. The ones who came for me were keepers of magic, and yes, they were looking for you.”
I draw a breath. “Why wouldwitcheswant me? Witches…is that the right word?”
“It’s not thepreferredword.” She points toward a thick root, drawing my attention to it before we step over. “Some in the community find the word witch offensive. It doesn’t bother me.”
I nod, glad to be learning something about magic, however minor. “I get why I’m valuable tovampires, but why witches?”
“I don’t have all the answers you want,” Mom says. “The only thing I’ve ever cared about is protecting you from those who might hurt you.”
“Other witches?”
“No.” Stopping, she shakes her head and leans in close. “Vampires. I was hiding you from vampires.”
“Mom.” I look into her eyes. “It wasn’tvampireswho came for me and kidnapped you.”
“That is true.”
“Clearly you were hiding me fromwitchesas well as vampires? Why?”
“I don’t want to scare you—”
“Mom.” I frown. “I think we’rewaypast that.” She hasn’t seen me since I was fourteen and has to stop treating me like a kid.
She draws a long breath. “In addition to the risk of vampires, there aresomewitches who would use your blood for their benefit.”
“What benefit? Would the witches sell by blood to vampires or something?”
She glances over her shoulder toward the men following behind. But I’m still not certain she knows that they’re there. Axe and Zuben are keeping well back.
“The real threat to you is vampires,” she says. “They will most certainly use you. Theyareusing you.”
“Axe and Zuben aren’tusingme, Mom. It’s not like that with them.” But is she right? Insecurity worms its way into my belly and nerves.
I already miss daylight, and I’ve only been a vampire for a few days. Summers are going to be hell. While I’ll never be able to walk in sunlight again, the men can whenever they drink my blood. Is that the only reason they want to be with me?
I draw a deep breath. Axe loves me. I still believe Ryker does too, and Zuben cares for me more than he’s willing to admit. But all three relationships developed so quickly, and under such extreme circumstances…
Given how the mencanuse me, will I ever be certain of their true feelings? Would any of them still want me if Iweren’tthe Illuminant?
“How did you get away fromyourcaptors?” I ask Mom, hoping to wash my mind of my angst. “Andwhendid you get away? And how did you know to look for me here? Were you even looking for me when you came here? Or have you beenlivinghere?” I am so full of questions.