Page 54 of Electric Wounds
The new hotel is a far cry from where we were staying last night. Marble floors, crystal chandeliers, and plush seating areasgreet us in the lobby. The receptionist informs us that the label has booked us a luxury suite for the night, since the bus is still out of commission. Relief washes over me—at least we won’t be crammed into a single room again.
We ride the elevator to our floor, and though the surroundings are luxurious, the band still seems drained. I don’t blame them. I am too.
We enter our room together. The suite is spacious, with a large living area, small kitchenette, and multiple bedrooms, much like the first hotel from hotel day. It’s a welcome change from the cramped bus and mediocre hotel room the night before.
“Well, this is more like it,” Dylan says, dropping his bags by the entrance.
Marcus nods, taking in the suite. “Yeah, not bad.”
Enzo disappears into one of the bedrooms without a word carrying his bag, while Jax lingers in the living room, his expression still dark and brooding. I approach him slowly. “Hey,” I say softly. “You okay?”
Jax barely glances at me, his jaw tightening. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
I sigh, feeling like he’s anything but fine, but also knowing that I can’t push the issue if he refuses to tell me anything. “Do you want to talk?”
“No,” he replies curtly, turning his back to me and heading toward another one of the bedrooms, the furthest from Enzo.
I follow him, not ready to give up. “Jax, I know things today were rough, but shutting everyone out isn’t going to help.”
He doesn’t respond, just opens the door to the room and steps inside. I hesitate for a moment before following him, determined not to let him push me away. The bedroom is spacious, with a king-sized bed and a large set of windows draped with heavy navy-blue curtains. Jax sits on the edge of thebed, his shoulders slumped, running his hands through his dark hair.
Taking a deep breath, I sit beside him, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Jax, please. Let me in.”
He looks up at me, his green eyes filled with annoyance. “Lily, I don’t want to talk right now.”
“Okay,” I whisper, deciding to back off. If I keep pushing Jax, then I might make things worse. Maybe this is why the rest of the band has left him alone. He is so stubborn. I concede on talking tonight, but add, “But I’m not leaving you alone.”
He doesn’t reply, but he doesn’t need to. I’m not changing my mind.
Kicking off my shoes, I climb onto the bed beside him. He stiffens but doesn’t push me away. Wrapping my arms around him, I rest my head on his shoulder. Slowly, I feel the tension in his body start to ease as he leans into me.
For a while, we sit in silence, the only sound the distant hum of the city outside. Eventually, Jax shifts, lying down and pulling me with him. He turns on his side, facing away from me, but I don’t mind. I curl around him, my arm draped over his waist, my head resting on his back.
I can feel his heartbeat, steady and strong, and the rise and fall of his breath. Slowly, his breathing begins to sync with mine, the tension in his body easing further. The room is dimly lit by the soft glow of the bedside lamp, casting gentle shadows on the walls.
I probably need to change and shower. I definitely need to brush my teeth, but I stay wrapped around Jax. His silent presence and solid warmth have a drugging effect. As I begin to drift off, I whisper, “Goodnight, Jax,” and press a soft kiss to his shoulder.
He doesn’t respond, but his hand reaches back, covering mine and squeezing lightly. It’s a small gesture, but it confirms that staying here tonight was the right choice.
The world outside fades as sleep pulls me under.
THIRTY-SIX
BREAKING DOWN
Jax
The first thing I feel when I wake up is Lily wrapped around me. Her warmth, her softness, the sound of her gentle breathing. I lie still for a moment, letting myself savor the feeling. But like a dark cloud creeping in, my thoughts start to take over. I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve her. I don’t deserve the band or the success we’ve found. I feel like I’m dragging everyone down with me, weighed down by my past mistakes.
Carefully, I turn over, trying not to wake her. But she stirs anyway, her eyes fluttering open. When she sees me, she smiles, and it hits me like a punch to the gut. How can she still smile at me after everything? All the jealousy and frustration and ugliness I’ve felt over the past few days batter against my skull, worsening my guilt.
I ignore all of it. Or try to, anyway.
I pull her closer, gathering her in my arms. She doesn’t resist, resting her head on my chest, her body fitting perfectly against mine. I wonder if she would want to lie here with me if she knew just how deeply I’ve hurt the people around me in the past.Would she run away? Instead of asking, I run my fingers through her hair, feeling the soft strands slide between my fingers.
“Morning,” she murmurs, her voice still thick with sleep.
“Morning,” I reply, my voice rough. I press a kiss to her forehead, her temple, then her cheek before finally finding her lips. It starts soft, tender, but the kiss deepens quickly. She sighs into my mouth, her hands tangling in my hair, pulling me closer. Something stirs inside me, something real amidst the morose feelings I’ve been drowning in. I want to lose myself in her, to forget about everything else, even if it’s only for a little while.
