Page 23 of Electric Wounds
His words hit me like a punch to the gut and my hand flies up like it can stop the hurt. A fling? I thought there was something about our connection. Like something deeper, or the potential for something deeper with our powerful chemistry, but hearing it said like that… it hurts more than I expected. Of course, this was a fling, though. Dylan is a rockstar and I’m… no one. Their handler for this tour. Then nothing.
My throat tightens, but I refuse to let the tears come. Without saying a word, I stand and walk to the back of the bus, my legs trembling as I try to escape the suffocating pressure of so much anger in such a tight space. I can feel their eyes on me, but I don’t turn around. I just need to get away, to breathe.
The bunk area is dim and quiet, the small spaces barely larger than a dorm bed. My bunk feels stark, empty compared tothe rest of the band with blank walls and white bedding, but it’s mine. I climb inside and pull the curtain closed, shutting out the world. I press my palms to my eyes, willing the tears away, but they sting at the edges.
I barely hear the knock on the side of the bunk. “Lily, can I open the curtain?” It’s Marcus, his voice gentle.
I clear my throat, aiming for emotionless. “Yeah.”
Marcus slides the curtain back and sits beside me, his blue eyes filled with concern. “You okay, sweetheart?”
I nod, though I’m anything but. “Just... trying to make sense of things.” There isn’t really anything to make sense of. I was being stupid, and I made a mistake, but I’m not going to say that to Marcus and have him tell the rest of the band about my regrets. Dylan was right, we are all adults here, and that means being accountable for my actions even when my feelings are hurt.
He sighs, running a hand through his hair. “Lily, none of us have ever had a real relationship on tour. It’s messy. The constant moving, the lack of space... it messes with your head.”
I look up at him, a dull ache settling into my heart. They sent Marcus to explain to me why Dylan didn’t want to date me. “I was just… being silly. You don’t owe me an explanation, and neither does Dylan.”
Marcus surprise me by pulling me into a hug, his warmth and scent enveloping me. He smelled woodsy, like cedar or maybe a fir tree. I was so busy inhaling his scent, trying to identify it, that I almost missed his next words. “It’s not easy for any of us. Even when there’s something real, or the potential for something, it’s hard to make it work. Doesn’t mean it’s not worth it.”
I lean my head against him, processing his words, then choosing my own carefully. “I don’t know that any relationship is ever easy, but both people have to be in the right head space to even try. And that can’t be forced.”
He squeezes me tighter for a second, his low voice soothing. “Just don’t be too quick to write anyone off.”
I pull back slightly, looking up at him in surprise. His face is close, his eyes soft and full of understanding. It sounds like he is encouraging this fling with Dylan. I hesitate prior to responding, my thoughts more muddled than before. “Thanks, Marcus.”
He smiles gently, brushing a strand of hair from my face. Then, without warning, he kisses my forehead, soft and comforting. His nose trails down the side of my face to my cheek, drawing a soft line as his breath fans against my face. He hesitates near my lips like he can’t decide if he wants to make a move or not. When he finally kisses me, it’s hesitant, but tender. His lips move against mine in languid movements, and I’m drawn into the kiss as much as I am with Dylan. It’s a different type of connection, less frantic and frenzied. Marcus kisses me like he could do it for hours and never tire of the connection.
He eventually pulls back, his piercing blue eyes wordlessly searching mine. Marcus seems to find whatever he needs. He squeezes me one more time, then gets up. “Get some rest, if you want to, but you’re welcome to come back and join us whenever. I promise no one else will be a dick to you today.”
I nod in stunned silence from his kiss and his words. I believe Marcus, though. He is the calmest member of the band and seems to be a man of his word. I watch as he pulls the curtain closed between us and listen as his footsteps retreat to the front of the bus. When they fade, I lie down, my mind spinning with everything that has happened since I joined the band. It’s only been a week. How am I going to survive months?
FIFTEEN
STRIP CHESS
Marcus
The air is thick with leftover tension all afternoon. Jax is sitting alone, staring out the window, his face tight with frustration, while Dylan is pacing in the small living area. His usual easy-going nature is gone, replaced with guilt and regret. After my talk with Lily, I’m hoping she comes out of the bunk to hang out. We all need to be cool before our next show and she is slowly becoming the center of every moment of connection we seem to create on this tour bus.
"Dylan," I call out quietly, leaning against the counter, arms crossed. "We need to talk." If for no other reason than his pacing is slowly driving me crazy, but I’m hoping he will be able to fix things with Lily. Jax is already making things awkward as hell.
He stops mid-pace and looks at me, his eyes filled with remorse. "I know I fucked up," he says with a sigh, walking closer anyway.
I give him a hard look, one that saysyeah, you did. I’ve already had to stop him from going to her bunk several times. Lily and Dylan in the bunks is what started this mess in the first place. I tamp down the tiny bit of jealousy that tries to rise at that thought. Deciding to file it for later. "You think? She thoughtthere was something real. The least you could do before you fuck someone on the bus is make sure you’re on the same page," I state with a roll of my eyes.
Dylan runs a hand through his hair, frustration etched into his face. "I panicked, alright? Jax was pushing my buttons, and I said the wrong thing. Things with Lily just happened. It wasn’t planned. It still isn’t. Anything can happen on the road, you know that."
Just then, Lily appears at the end of the living room, making a small noise in her throat to capture our attention. Like everyone on the bus was not becoming attuned to her every movement the longer spends with us. She steps forward, her eyes meeting Dylan’s. She looks more composed, her expression carefully neutral as she moves towards the two of us standing in the kitchen.
"Lily, I’m sorry," he says softly, the usual joking tone replaced with sincerity. "I didn’t mean to hurt you."
She gives him a tight smile, but when he tries to reach for her hand, she pulls back slightly, subtly avoiding his touch. "I get it, Dylan. It’s fine. I agree we are both adults and you did nothing wrong." Her voice is steady, but there’s a wall up between them now. If I can feel it, Dylan definitely can.
I see the weight of her words hit Dylan like a blow. He looks at me, helpless, and I shake my head slightly. He needs to give her space, for now. Hopefully, it won’t take her long to forgive him and they can move past this.
A couple of hours later, as the road stretches endlessly ahead of us, we are all sitting on the couch mindlessly watching a stupid scripted reality tv show. Lily is leaning against my side, reading her book on her phone. Things almost feel normal, which is a move in the right direction.
Enzo stands up, randomly stretching. “I’m so fucking bored.”
