Page 58 of Electric Wounds
“We need to pull it together,” Marcus says, trying to keep calm, but his voice betrays his own nerves. His blond hair was sticking up in the front, from his hands running through it.
Lily tries to rally us. “Nothing else is going to go wrong. We just need to focus on what we can control.”
“She’s right,” I say, backing her up. “We’ve come too far to fall apart now.”
Jax nods, his eyes dark with determination, but there’s something fragile there too. “Let’s just get through the next show.”
Enzo, for once, doesn’t have a snarky comment. He just nods, his expression serious.
When we get back to the bus, the atmosphere is tense. The weight of the meeting still lingers, and the usual jokes and banter are nowhere to be found. The bus feels cramped, the air thick with unspoken fears.
Lily tries to break the tension. “What if you run through some songs? Get back in sync.”
“I don’t feel like practicing,” Enzo snaps, his irritation flaring. “What’s the point if we’re already screwed?”
“Stop being such a downer,” I shoot back, frustration bubbling over. Less than an hour ago we all agreed that we weren’t going down this road and now Enzo is being an asshole. “We’re not screwed yet. We still have a chance. We all agreed back at the office.”
“We need to stay focused,” Marcus adds, his voice tense.
Jax shakes his head, clearly still carrying the weight of the meeting. “I need some space,” he mutters, heading to his bunk.
Lily looks torn, glancing between Jax and the rest of us. She takes a step toward him, but I call her back. “Let him be, Lily. He needs time.”
She hesitates, but nods. “Okay. Let’s run through some songs without him, then.”
Enzo looks like he’s about to lose his shit until Lily walks up to him. She wraps her arms around his waist. He hesitates, then returns the hug. I watch as she tilts her head backwards, saying something too low for me to hear. He nods in return, looking less annoyed and grabbing his bass.
The practice is rough. Without Jax’s vocals, it feels off, but we push through, trying to find our rhythm. It’s not perfect, but it’s something. The air of unease lifts slightly, but it’s clear we’re all still reeling from the day.
As we finish, I catch Lily’s eye. She tries to smile, but I can see the worry she’s carrying for all of us. Fuck. The meeting with the executive might be the death of the band if Jax can’t get his head out of his ass and work with the rest of us.
THIRTY-NINE
THE SHOW MUST GO ON
Lily
The tension in the van feels heavy as we head to the next show. Jax sits quietly, withdrawn, his usual brooding intensity replaced by a deep, palpable sadness. His presence feels like a vortex, sucking all the joy out of the room. The rest of the band tries to keep things light, but Jax refuses to join in, snapping at anyone that gets too close with a joke or comment. It’s like walking on eggshells around him.
“Everyone ready?” Marcus asks, trying to inject some enthusiasm into the group.
“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Dylan replies, twirling his drumsticks with a forced grin.
Enzo just grunts, his dark eyes unreadable.
Jax doesn’t say anything, his gaze fixed on the window, lost in his thoughts. I know he’s blaming himself for everything, and the weight of that guilt is crushing him, but there is nothing any of us can do to get him out of his head. At this point, he needs to fix his own attitude.
We walk into the venue as a unit and the backstage area buzzes with its normal charge of activity. Crew members rush around, setting up equipment and making final adjustments.The noise and chaos offer a strange kind of comfort, a familiar backdrop to the anxiety swirling inside me.
Jax enters the dressing room, beelining for a quiet corner, and slumps down. I hesitate for a moment before sitting next to him. He looks up at me, his stormy eyes filled with guilt, and another unreadable emotion that I can’t comprehend.
“Hey,” I say softly. “You okay?”
He sighs deeply, running a hand through his dark hair. “No, Lily, I’m not. If I hadn’t fucked up last year, we wouldn’t be in this position with the label. It’s all my fault.”
I take his hand, squeezing it gently. “It’s not all your fault, Jax. Everyone makes mistakes, some just take a little longer to fix than others. The band will get through this.”
He shakes his head, his expression tortured. “You don’t understand. I almost ruined everything. The band, our career… everything. Now it’s coming back around and it will ruin everything. There is nothing I can do to stop it.”
