Page 30 of Sail Away
“For what it’s worth, what they did was a shit thing to do, and any of us would have gone off the deep end. We were all just a little blindsided.”
“Only thing either one of them did wrong was not tell me before they got involved with each other. But it’s all water under the bridge. I’m really fine with them being together.” She stared out over the port side of the yacht at the islands and the sun slowly making its descent in the afternoon sky. She’d never tire of being on the water. It would never get old.
Ever.
Especially when her heart and mind were conflicted. It was as if the sky touching the seas below could give her all the answers.
“You know what? I believe you,” Kirk said. “There is something different about you today that wasn’t there a few days ago. I can’t place it, but your confidence and the fierceness in your eyes is at an all-time high. No one can put that there but you. And no one can take that away unless you let them.” He patted her shoulder. “I’ve enjoyed working under you, which is why it was important to me to get a referral from you.”
“Why do I sense abutcoming where I might want to retract my decision?”
“That will be up to you, but I mean it.” Kirk leaned back against the railing. “I’ve had to deal with a couple of female bosons before, and trust me when I say, I’ve got no issue with women in power. I say bring it on. The more there are, the better off the world would probably be. You’ve had to fight for every little piece of respect that I get just because I’m swinging a dick. It’s not right. It’s certainly not fair. I wish I could say I get it, but I don’t. I have no idea what it’s like to walk in your shoes. However, I will say this.” He held up his index and middle fingers. “There are two camps when it comes to how you handle a man’s world, and you always seem to choose the harder one.”
“Seriously? You want to stand there and tell me that I should use my tits to get what I want in yachting instead of being good at my jobafteryou asked me for—”
“I’m not saying any woman should have to do either. That’s just a shitty thing all around. I’ve got five little sisters, and it makes me crazy that they have to deal with things that I don’t have to even think twice about. But I digress,” Kirk said, letting out a long breath. “You’re hands-down the best boson I’ve ever worked with. I’ve learned more from you this summer than I have in the last two years I’ve worked in the yachting industry.”
“Thank you for saying that.”
“The problem isn’t that you come off like a bitch, because you don’t. You have a management style that commands respect because you give it in spades. You don’t hover over your crew and bark out orders, expecting everyone else to do the heavy lifting; you get right in there, working side by side. But you do it with an attitude that constantly reminds us that the line you draw is a squiggly one, and we’re not sure where we stand from one minute to the next.”
“What the fuck does that mean?” Of course, she had a good idea if it was anything like Ziggy’s explanation for why Darcie didn’t make girlfriends.
“Having the gift of sarcasm, a resting bitch face, and a wicked dry sense of humor doesn’t give the rest of us a good handle on when you’re dicking around. It’s why there are so many awkward silences.”
Yup. That would be the Ziggy philosophy. Her sister had tried to explain this to her once before but had failed miserably in her description. It was sinking in now.
“So, wait a second,” Darcie said. “You’re telling me that you guys are confused on when you can make jokes with me and when you can’t?”
“And what you might find funny or not.” Kirk waved to another deckhand as a larger yacht cruised by.
“I have a sense of humor.”
“But it changes. And that’s why there is so much tension sometimes with you and the rest of the crew. I’m sure it’s the dynamics with Jim, but it’s something to consider.”
“Other than my catfight with Kim, and the fact that Jim is a womanizing asshole, this is a really good crew.”
“None of us can believe she said yes to marrying Jim. No one changes their stripes that quickly.”
“When it’s the right woman, a man can.” She turned and leaned her middle against the railing and stretched out her arms. “Now we just need the music from the movieTitanic.”
“Are you saying you’re a romantic deep down?”
“No. I’m just saying I’ve known Jim for as long as I’ve been in this industry. The first time we worked together, I was actually the third stew, and he was the first mate.”
“You were a stew? Interior? I don’t believe it.”
“I’ve done it a couple of times.” She tilted her head toward the sun and closed her eyes. “I spent half the season in the laundry until one of the deckhands got injured, and Jim suggested they pull me in. I was shocked because we butted heads all the time. Jim and I didn’t like each other, but we respected each other.” She wrapped her arms around her middle. “I still cringe every time he calls me ‘sweetheart’ or ‘doll’ or ‘baby.’ He just doesn’t get it.”
“No. He doesn’t.”
“He’s still not the worst man in the world.”
“I don’t know about that. He cheated on you. That’s pretty slimy if you ask me.”
Darcie needed to get real with herself about her life and the direction she was headed. It was the only way she’d be able to change course and make it stick. “I was never totally committed to Jim as his girlfriend. While I wasn’t at fault for what happened, I had both feet out the door.”
“Are you making excuses for him?”
