Page 51 of The Wedding Driver
The gesture was sweet. The anger flowing through her system shifted. She loved this man. She didn’t like that he went to her sisters and concocted this ridiculous plan, but on the other hand, tricking her was the only way she was going to give him the time of day right now outside of work.
“What are you doing here?” She marched past him, doing her best not to make eye contact. She punched the code into the keypad. “And by the way, don’t think for one second I’m inviting you in.” If he pushed, she wouldn’t say no.
“So, either I have to beg or stand out here like an asshole.”
“I guess so.” She glanced over her shoulder. “Except, I’ll take those.” She reached for the flowers. “They will look really nice on my kitchen table.”
He yanked his hand away. “Nope. If you want these, we have to talk.”
Loudly, she groaned. “Fine. Would you like a drink?”
“I’d love one.”
“You can take a seat down by the waterfront. I’ll bring you a glass of red. Does that work?”
“Bring the bottle because we’re going to talk this all the way through.” He arched his brow. “I’m not leaving until we do.”
* * *
Tonya settled into the Adirondack chair and stared out over the lake. It was a warm night. No breeze. The few waves lapping against the breakwall came from boats humming down the shoreline. The dark sky was filled with a million stars. The curved moon hung high and shined bright.
However, her mood was as conflicted as a raging summer storm.
“I don’t like how you used my family to get to me,” she said.
“For the record, it was their idea and I protested.”
She could feel Foster’s gaze. It burned her skin. The emotions swirling between them ran as hot as they did cold. “Not hard enough.”
“I was going to camp out here anyway. You don’t answer my texts and sent my calls to voicemail. Take out the fact that I want more, we had decided that our friendship was important and we weren’t going to let this get in the way of that.”
She sighed. The latter had been a struggle. Her family adored Foster. The fact she spent a week with him and everyone knew it made it worse. They had all wrapped their arms around him and welcomed him into the fold. Of course, they had done that before, but it was worse now. “The first part of that statement makes the latter difficult.”
“Bullshit,” Foster said. “It’s only difficult because you want more too.” He leaned forward, setting his glass on the table. “Looking back on the way I behaved over the last year or so, there have been times I avoided you. I turned down invites to functions at your parents’ house. Or volunteered to do extra jobs with Doug and Jim so that I didn’t have to spend time alone with you because it was often hard. I told you it would be difficult to put the genie back in the bottle.”
“Sometimes the way you make your point is annoying.”
He chuckled. “I’m sorry I let my past and illogical thinking mess things up.”
“Have you suddenly decided you want to have a family? Because I can’t waste time with you if that’s not something you believe could be in your future. It has nothing to do with our feelings for each other. I know you care about me, but I can’t be with someone who doesn’t want the same things as me, and I shouldn’t have ever asked you to try. That was rude of me.”
He reached out and took her hand, kissing the back side. “I’m scared. I never loved Victoria. The last year before Lisa died, I could barely look at her without feeling disgusted. I only stayed with her because Lisa loved her mother and begged me to protect her. I failed as a father.”
“That’s not true.”
“Let me finish,” Foster said. “This isn’t easy for me to admit, but when I met Kathy, she made me feel alive. I didn’t love her, but the excitement of being with her outweighed my good judgment. The night Lisa died, I had gone over to Kathy’s. I had a babysitter at the house, but she had to leave and I told her I’d be home soon, so it was fine. Lisa was in bed and Victoria was passed out. Kathy talked me into staying for another round. I knew I shouldn’t stay, but something was exciting and dangerous about it all.”
Lifting her glass, she chugged her wine. It burned going down. She poured another glass. She lifted it to her lips, but he took it. “Hey. I was drinking that.”
“You’ve had enough for now,” he said. “Do you understand why I blame myself for Lisa’s death?”
“I’ve always understood that.” She tucked her hair behind her ears. “You have to stop believing you could have controlled what happened. For all you know, you could have died that night if you had been there.”
“Victoria didn’t,” Foster said with a straight face.
“Because she walked outside, sat down, and watched the fire. She had no idea what was going on. It was the neighbors who called it in. The police found her asleep in the backyard. You could have been in that house, just like your daughter.” Tonya had never spoken those words before. Not to Foster. Not to anyone. She’d thought them many times. She was sure others had too, but no one dared to mention them to Foster. “I’m sorry. I know that sounds harsh and cruel.”
“No. It’s fine. It’s not like Marge and I haven’t discussed it before.”
