Page 54 of The Wedding Driver
“Nope. Just on the counter.”
He burst out laughing. “Over the counter. Next time we can try on it.”
“Technicalities.” She handed him a mug. Her eyes grew wide as she glanced down, then back up again. “Um, Foster. This is going to be a really gross question, but what happened to the condom?”
“What condom?” He tilted his head. His heart dropped to the pit of his stomach.
“The one you used.”
“I didn’t use one,” he managed to croak out. The ramifications of her words smacked him right between the eyes. A slow burn filled the center of his chest.
“That was our only form of birth control.”
“This was a conversation we should have had a while ago.” He took his cup of Joe and made his way to the small table next to the kitchen. He sat down facing the window that looked out over the parking area and sighed. While he was ready to discuss his future, he wasn’t prepared to deal with this. His stomach turned over. “Why didn’t you stop me?”
She lowered her chin. “Are you serious right now? Every time we’ve had sex, we’ve used a condom. Why would I all of a sudden not want you to use one?”
“I don’t know. It’s been seven years since I’ve done this.” He took a long sip of his coffee, letting the scalding brew burn the roof of his mouth. The desire to feel pain filled his soul, but he didn’t want to hurt the same way he’d always wanted. Something in him had changed and he wasn’t sure how he felt about that either. “There isn’t anything we can do now other than wait this out.”
“That’s not true,” she said. “I can get the Plan B pill.”
Bile filled his mouth. “How does that even work? Is it safe for you? Are there side effects? Should you talk to your doctor first? I don’t want you doing anything that would be harmful to you.”
She cocked her head. “I would think you, of all people, would be jumping on this bandwagon.”
He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m sorry, but I don’t understand these things and I don’t want you to do anything that would be detrimental to your health. Nor are we in a space where having a child would be good, even if I was on board with it.”
“Which you’re not.”
“That’s not true. It’s just too soon.” He closed his eyes. An image of Lisa filled his mind. She was maybe four or five and she was running around the backyard at night with his cell phone in her hand, using the flashlight, laughing hysterically. She was such a sweet little girl who loved life, even though hers was filled with constant heartache. For years, Victoria hid her drug use from everyone. The first couple years of their marriage, Foster thought their problems had to do with being young parents who suffered miscarriage after miscarriage. He ignored the signs. When he couldn’t do that any longer, he did his best to make sure Lisa was protected by always having a nanny or babysitter on hand.
At first, Victoria didn’t mind. She loved Foster’s money and had no problem spending it.
“Hey. That wasn’t meant as a dig.” Tonya rested her hand over his. Her touch was soft and gentle.
He blew out a puff of air and leaned back. “I know. I was thinking about Lisa.” If he wanted a relationship with Tonya, he had to be honest with her and that meant telling her about the tough things.
She held his hand tight. “You’ve never talked about her much.”
“I’m not sure I’m ready to either,” he admitted. “But I wanted you to know that’s where my head was at.” He stood and kissed her forehead. “I need to go take a shower and get ready for work. I’ll stop at the pharmacy and look into this Plan B thing before I see you tonight. Is that okay with you?”
“Sure,” she said. “But you don’t have to do that. I can take care of it.”
“Is it weird that I don’t want you taking it without understanding what it’s all about?”
“Yes and no,” she said and nodded. “It’s sweet you’re concerned about me, but it’s safe, so you don’t have to worry.”
“Is this something you’ve done before?” He shouldn’t get upset even if she had.
“No. However, I have a friend who has, so I’m familiar with the process.” She took his hand. “It’s harmless. All it does is prevent me from ovulating and getting pregnant. It’s not like it’s causing an abortion or anything.”
He brought her palm to his lips. “I’ll pick it up and we can resume this conversation later. Right now, I better get my ass in gear.” He stood and headed down the hallway toward the bathroom with conflicted thoughts.
On the one hand, he didn’t want her to be pregnant. He wasn’t ready for that. On the other, he didn’t want her to take something to stop it either.
And that didn’t make any fucking sense at all.
However, he remembered like it was yesterday the moment he found out Victoria was pregnant with Lisa. He and Victoria had broken up a few weeks before. He’d been ready to move on. Their relationship had been toxic and he was done. But he couldn’t turn his back onhischild.
