Page 34 of Before the Storm
“I know.” She clasped her hands, rested them in her lap, and lowered her gaze.
“Don’t do that,” he said firmly but with a kind and soft tone. “It’s a form of submission and it breaks my heart.”
She rubbed her hands up and down her legs. “I have no intention of living that way again. I’ve worked hard to become my own person. But I’ve also tried not to stand out in the crowd. I’ve never wanted to be noticed and that’s happened since I’ve come here. It’s a weird thing to love a place so much. To become attached so quickly. To have real friends for the first time in my life. And yet I still feel that pull to run.”
“I can understand that.” He leaned back. “I want you to know that you’re safe with me. I would never do anything intentionally to hurt you.”
“I believe that about you. And everyone in your family. It’s why I didn’t leave the moment Pam started causing trouble.”
“I’m glad.” He held her gaze. “This might not be the right time to say this. I’m attracted to you. I like you. A lot. And when I came home tonight, I had this idea where I’d sweep you off your feet. That we’d have this big romantic night and things would end with you spending the night in my bed.”
She swallowed. Hard. His raw honesty about what he wanted—desired—not only startled her, but it sent a confusing warmth across her body. Part of her thought she should be angry at him for believing that could even be a possibility. However, if she were being honest, it was exactly what she wanted but couldn’t ask for or even act on.
“I guess my confession ruined all that.”
“No.” He tapped his chest. “That hurts my heart that you had to suffer all that pain alone. But it’s the realization that at twenty-six, that world when it comes to relationships and sex is probably all you’ve ever known.”
“Oh,” she managed.
He shifted, catching her gaze. “Am I wrong?”
She shook her head. Tears burned her eyes as they plummeted down her cheeks.
“Shit. I didn’t mean to make you cry.” He lifted her right off the chair and onto his lap. Wrapping his strong arms around her, he held her close.
That only made it worse. She couldn’t stop the floodgates if she tried. She nestled her face into his neck.
“Okay, sweetheart. Let it all out. I’ve got you.”
Fisting his shirt, she let the emotions bleed out. All the years of her father telling her no man was going to want her if she didn’t become closer to God. Of her father taking a belt to her for asking simple questions about why they did the things they did.
Tears poured out for the babies she’d lost.
The sister wives and young children still being held, some against their will.
The whole godforsaken thing until her tank became empty.
He stood, holding her in his arms, carrying her toward the stairs.
“Where are you taking me?”
“Inside. You need to sleep.” He pressed his lips against her temple. They were warm, soft, and sucked away all the pain that lingered.
“Okay.” She closed her eyes, doing her best to forget everything, except Phoenix.
7
“Hey, Mom.” Phoenix lifted his coffee mug and stared out into the darkness. A hint of light echoed through the sky, but it would be another hour before the sun peeked over the mountaintops. “Thanks for calling.”
“I told you I’d call as soon as I learned anything.”
He tugged at the slider. The cool air hit his skin. He leaned against the railing, taking a sip. “I appreciated the text before startling me awake.” He didn’t want to mention that he’d lain next to Janelle all night while she slept. He worried she might wake up and freak out whenever he dozed off.
First for being in his bed.
And second for him being right next to her.
“I have to ask. What’s your interest in this group?”
