Page 17 of Rex's Honor
“That right there is why I don’t play.”
“It’s even better when you bend over to pick up your ball.”
“All right. That’s enough.” She let out a long sigh. “You go from being pissy about what I did or didn’t do years ago to flirting with me. We had our fun last night to bring us closure. Either close it, or… or… just fucking close it, okay?”
“Why don’t you tell me how you really feel?” he said, holding the bar in the center of the bus over his seat next to her. “Oh, wait. You don’t know how you really feel.”
“Well, neither do you.”
The rest of the ride was spent in silence, as was boarding his father’s jet. She’d chosen to fly with a skeleton crew, just the pilot and copilot. This made Rex insanely happy as he poured himself a scotch on the rocks before takeoff. In all the years she’d known him, she’d never seen him drink before noon, at the earliest, and that was only when they had a football party or major family gathering.
She opted for coffee.
He leaned back in the seat across from her, swirling his drink, the ice cubes clinking against the glass. The plane leveled out, and the captain came over the loudspeaker, letting them know the estimated arrival time and the current weather in Maryland.
“I’m sorry,” Rex said, still staring at his drink. “I’m nervous about being around family, and I’m taking it out on you.”
“Thank you, but it’s more than that. You’ve been upset with me ever since I stepped from your bedroom this morning.” She fluffed her hair as if that would give her a shot of confidence. “I don’t regret what happened, but I’d understand if you did.”
“That’s not it at all.” He set the glass down and looked directly at her. “I’m glad we had last night. We couldn’t get past our stubbornness back then, but we each did things to remind ourselves of what we didn’t fight for, and I find myself wondering why and wanting more. Only, your life is in Maryland, and mine’s in Florida, and neither one of us is going to change that.”
“What do you mean?” She clutched the leaf pendant dangling from her neck, fingering the silver piece of jewelry. She wasn’t so sure she wanted the answer, but she needed it.
“We held on to each other in different ways, but we went about the lives we both wanted to live. We didn’t really think twice about it. We felt guilty about choosing our goals, so we tortured ourselves with constant reminders. You did it with tattoos and I did with possessions. We must choose one, and we both know what that will be, even if we wanted a redo.”
She stared at him for a long moment, digesting his words. She wanted to argue that they were immature and young. That they didn’t have the skill set to deal with what happened in their lives, but deep down, she knew he had a valid point. Only, he failed to comprehend that she would have never become a Peace Corps Volunteer had he not left her. Sure, she would have found some way to do service work, though it would have been local. Or wherever he was stationed. And there could have been opportunities in the military for her passion to help others.
But what would be the point in telling him that he didn’t want her in his life when it was painfully obvious? His wholeconcept of a potential redo was ridiculous. That rambling didn’t make sense. Sure, the sex was great. They still fit together like an old pair of gloves. But it wasn’t something they could slide back into.
Too much time and too much hurt.
“I get it and agree.” She nodded.
“I’m sorry if this is hurting you,” he said.
Now she just wanted to throttle him. “I’m not hurt. Why would you even think that?”
“I don’t know.” He raised his free hand, letting it fall into his lap. “I’m telling you that what happened last night won’t happen again because our lives are too different, even though I do still care for you.”
“Wow. That was really hard for you to say, wasn’t it?” She twisted her hair between her fingers.
“It’s coming out all wrong,” he said.
“You can say that again,” she mumbled. “Look. I don’t want anything from you. And for the record, I will always care about you. That’s obvious. But both of us are different people with our own lives. I believe this was good for us. Call it closure. Call it moving forward. I don’t care. But I’m not looking for anything other than maybe not being angry with each other anymore.”
He reached out and squeezed her hand. “I think I can manage that.”
“Good.”
“Are we getting a car service, or is someone picking us up?”
“Your father and his wife.”
“I’ve never met her,” he said, dropping his head back. “The few times I’ve seen my dad, I’ve always asked if it could just be us. I know that’s selfish, but it felt weird to accept her, when I’m an unaccepting asshole about everything else.”
Tilly laughed. “She’s a nice lady and makes your father happy.”
“How does she feel about my dad taking care of his ex-wife?” Every word was laced with a bit of kick as if they’d been drenched in Tabasco sauce.
