Page 45 of The Battery
I didn’t realize it but I had scooted closer to him despite the stools. My thigh pressed along his. Circumstances begged me to rethink the posturing but a need in my core rejected those superego demands. Leo didn’t seem to mind. In fact, by the time our food arrived, he had hooked one of his feet around my ankle, as if he could secure me to him.
The tavern was packed with patrons by the time we finished our food. A band had set up in the main room while the family-oriented folks drained out, replaced by a younger crowd closer to my age than Leo’s. We stayed for our fourth beer to listen to a local ska band play pop hits with a flare of saxophones, offbeat rhythm, and walking bass lines. The crowd sang boisterously and cheered at every opening measure in recognition of a song. My vision was swimming when I paid the tab—something I insisted on doing to demonstrate my newfound ability to spend.
We got up to leave. I noticed the sweat stain all along Leo’s back. The poor guy must have been dying in the heat. He scrunched against the open wall and did an awkward lean to let me lead the way. I squeezed by and struck out into the churningcrowd surging against the stage. There was no way in hell any of this was to fire code. The press of bodies made it difficult to weave my way through and it was slow going.
Then he was there. I knew it was him. He had the front of his body pressed against my back. I could smell that alluring cologne of his. The sticky sweat of his body already seeping through my clothes. I didn’t care. I wanted to run my bare skin against it, to feel the hardness of his muscle coated in the slickness of sweat. Together we moved slowly as a single entity through the crowd. It moved and undulated like a wave, knocking me a bit off-kilter. Leo’s arm went over and around me like a seat belt. My hands held onto his forearm as if for safety, pretending like I needed the big man to help guide me through a crowd. I felt his beard tickling the back of my neck and I wanted to drop my head back to expose my throat to him.
The heat of his body pressed against mine made for slow going toward the exit. I wanted to absorb the moment and savor it. At one point his other hand went to my waist, like it had at the tailor. He urged his hips forward, rubbing into me like we were grinding to music. Our ambling was awkward in a discombobulated attempt at reaching the exit but surreptitiously enjoying each other’s bodies. Unashamedly, I slowed our pace and backed my ass into him at every opportunity. I could feel how hard he grew.
The crowd spewed us out eventually and the welcome blast of free air cooled me down. The short shorts did not help the rising temperature of my body. Leo sidled up next to me and slung an arm around my neck as we left the tavern and hit the Harborwalk. The embrace felt bro-y, like two drunk frat brothers surveying the lay of the land after leaving a party. He kept me locked in like that for a few minutes, then slid his arm back so that his hand rested at the base of my neck. His thumb traced along the nape and all the hair there shot straight up. I glancedsideways at him. Still that classic stare of his, eyes forward, determined and defensive all at the same time. His expressive hands belied the face he presented to the world.
We were back in the SUV in no time, where a bottle of champagne was chilling in a freaking refrigerator in the damn car. I had no idea the compartment was there. The driver wasn’t allowed to tell us to open it, but he did say there was a bottle there. Leo raised his brow as he pulled the bottle out and looked at me.
I shrugged. “Why not?”
Apopfilled the car, followed by the careful filling of two glass flutes that had their own special holder in the compartment between us. We both only had that single glass after all the beer we drank. It tasted delicious and I enjoyed champagne, but my head and my body wouldn’t let me have any more than I should.
Light, easy conversation passed between us. We discussed previous strategies that had worked for Leo in the past during his time with the Brawlers. I told him about fun memories from my time with the Mariners and how I should reach out to those colleagues to let them know how I was doing. The bucket seats prevented either of us from staying physically connected and I was truly thankful for that. It had been easy in the bar because of proximity. Here, in the stillness of the luxury vehicle and the noticeable gap between the seats, any direct contact requiring effort would violate that stupid rule we imposed.
No strings, for him.
An apology for his excoriation, for me.
The driver dropped me off at my house. I’d pick up my car tomorrow from Leo’s. I was too drunk to drive it anyway. Leo helped sort through my bags in the back and then shared the delivery inside the house. He hadn’t been there since he dressed me down, when I attempted to create something that he clearly wanted but didn’t allow himself the pleasure of. We discardedthe bags in the hallway. I dropped my cell phone, wallet, and keys in a bowl beneath a horizontal mirror. The diffuse headlights through the semi-closed front door provided the only light. I hadn’t slapped the hallway switch yet.
“Best day I’ve had in a while,” I told Leo as the Awkward Goodbye crept up like a spider to its web. “Thank you for inviting me.”
“Don’t mention it.”
What a classic Leo response.
I moved to embrace him. I went for the usual buddy hug, with diagonal arms. Leo moved in faster and put his arms around my waist, forcing mine to go up around his neck. He sank his head to my neck. My nose went to his. Cologne. Sweat.Him.I took it in and my head swam, this time not from the alcohol. We stayed there for a moment. Then, Leo squeezed me tighter, as if he could merge us. I let out a mumbled sigh and tightened my embrace. His mouth opened, either to speak or more, and I felt his lips brush my neck.
We rotated, though I wasn’t sure who made that move first. My back pressed against the hallway wall as he pressed deeper into me. It felt distinctly like making out, yet our lips never touched. He ground into me as if he could fight against his own demons, his own protective walls that onlyhehad the ability to tumble.
I gasped as my body came alive with desire. I ran my face along his neck, one of my legs hitching up along his waist. Leo exhaled into me, partially lifting me along the wall. I felt how hard he had grown as our waists pressed together. He ground upward in a slow buck after another growled exhalation onto my neck.
Then, the flat of his palm hit the wall. Hard. I jumped from the suddenness of it. I felt no fear from the outburst of anger, only regret. We pushed this too far.
He balled his hand into a fist and pounded it against the wall again in his frustration, this time noticeably lighter. He pulled away from me and stalked down the hallway without a word. He was out the front door and in the car as I stood there, chest heaving, trying to calm myself down.
I’m right here, I thought as the headlights left the driveway.All you have to do is show me you’re worth it.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Leo
Cody’s third dayat my house during the All-Star break passed with almost no physical interaction. I had overstepped the previous evening. He knew it. I knew it. I let my shame dictate my actions the following day. Where once I had lust for simply his body, I now had the spark of yearning forhim.
Yet still he returned. Arrived by cab so he could drive his car home at the end of the day. I didn’t hug him at the door, and he didn’t appear to expect one. In the yard, we threw the ball again while Uncle Andy jabbered on until he fell asleep. No nightmares this time, thankfully. When he woke, Cody helped me walk him back to his room where he would stay up for an hour playing Freecell, then another nap. He made me promise to wake him up for dinner, as he wanted the three of us to share a meal together.
“I wanna see him in this house all the time,” Uncle Andy told me when it was just the two of us in his room. I pulled the blankets over him. Plugged the tablet in, since it was low on battery. Poured him fresh water in his cup with a straw.
“Yeah, yeah,” I said.
He grabbed my hand when it came near him. The strength of his grip shocked me. “Kiddo. I’m serious.”
“I know, Uncle Andy, I heard you.”
