Page 65 of Her Majesty's Necromancer
"Yes?"
"I saw no other option." When he didn't answer, I added, "This opportunity might not have come again."
"I know."
"Don't be angry with me. I hate it when you're angry with me for no reason."
"It's always for a reason."
"It doesn't always seem that way from my position."
I felt rather than heard his sigh. "You don't understand."
"Then make me."
Several heartbeats passed before he said, "I can't."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm not sure I understand myself."
The ache in his voice plucked at my heart. I shifted a little to see him better, but he was staring straight ahead. I touched his jaw and gently forced him to look at me. His Adam's apple jerked fiercely and his warm gaze settled on my eyes.
I stroked the strong line of his jaw with my thumb, wishing I dared touch more of him. "I think you do understand," I murmured. "And I think you're afraid of what you feel."
He jerked his head away, breaking the connection. I didn't need to be touching him to know that his jaw hardened. "You're still affected by the opium."
I didn't bother to protest. I simply sighed and settled my head against his shoulder again.
We arrived home to a house that was more awake than asleep. Cook was nowhere to be seen, but Seth and Gus ran into the courtyard when they heard the horses. Lincoln handed me down to Seth, much to my disappointment. I tried telling them that I could walk, but when Seth set me down on my feet, my legs buckled.
He caught me and looped his arm around my waist. With his help, I was able to stumble to the house. Gus and Lincoln took the horses to the stables and Seth sat me down at the kitchen table. He poured me a cup of water and I drank it greedily.
"You don't look injured," he said, his narrow gaze eyeing me up and down.
"I'm not. The residual effects of other people's opium smoke did this. Apparently it affects novices. The dead are immune, fortunately."
His eyebrows shot up his forehead. "Who died? And did you kill them? Or did Fitzroy?"
"I took Gordon Thackery with me as a bodyguard."
"Ah, yes. I read your note." His eyebrows remained halfway up his forehead as he regarded me with more admiration than concern. "That was clever of you to summon him. Your note also mentioned the captain was at Mr. Lee's. Did you see him?"
"No more questions," Lincoln barked as he strode into the kitchen. "Charlie's exhausted."
I would have argued with him, but I was much too tired. "I think I'll go straight to bed." Both of them came to assist me, but I held up my hand as I rose. "I can walk, thank you."
"Have the effects worn off?" Seth asked, hovering nearby.
"It would seem so." I concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other and maintaining my balance. I yawned as I reached the doorway and had to grasp the doorframe as a bout of dizziness swamped me.
"Perhaps not yet," Seth said with a chuckle.
I thought it was his arm that circled my waist to steady me, but I quickly realized it was Lincoln's. "I'd know those muscles anywhere," I murmured, tucking myself into his side.
Behind us, Seth chuckled again.
I reached the main staircase before another jaw-aching yawn engulfed me. Lincoln must have become frustrated with our slow pace, because he picked me up and carried me up the stairs. I looped my arms around his neck and buried my face in his throat.
