Page 108 of Beyond the Grave
"What! Why?"
"All manner of dangerous things can happen between here and there."
I held onto his wrists near my cheeks and drew his hands away. "All manner of dangerous things can happen here, too! The tampered saddle proves that. Lincoln, nobody knows that I'm going to France with you except Gus, Seth and Cook. I'll be quite safe there. When we return, we can investigate."
He slumped back against the wall. "It's not as simple as that. I may not be able to keep my eye on you like I'd hope. Not on the journey over and back."
"Why not?"
"I…don't travel well by sea."
"You get seasick?" I began to laugh but bit my tongue when he glared at me. "It seems I will have to nurse you on the crossing."
"You won't be anywhere near me. You'll be locked in a cabin, alone, until we dock."
I sighed. "You're going to be a fun traveling companion."
He pushed off from the wall and strode down to his own rooms. Oh dear. I'd offended him. I ran after him and reached his door just as he began to close it. I wedged my body into the gap, stopping him from slamming the door.
"I'm sorry," I said. "I wasn't mocking you. I'm just used to you being so capable all the time. Even when you're asleep you're alert."
He grunted and moved deeper into the room. I followed.
"Seasickness is not a weakness, Lincoln."
"It makes me weak, therefore it's a weakness." He strode to the desk and gathered up some papers.
I sighed. "So it's one single weakness. If you have any others, I'm yet to discover them."
He shuffled the papers then shuffled them again. I almost interrupted, but his shuffling became more and more furious until he finally threw the pages on the desk, sending them skittering across the surface, crashing into the inkstand, and onto the floor.
He spun round. "You are my weakness, Charlie."
I balked; blinked.
"That's not what I meant." He looked to the ceiling. "I'm not very good at…this. I always seem to say the wrong thing."
"Would you like me to return later, when you've calmed down?" I said testily. I did not like him to think of me as his weakness, as something to be coddled and protected lest I bring him down too as I fell.
"No! Christ." He blew out a breath then lifted his gaze to mine. I closed my fists and bit my tongue to stop myself throwing my arms around him and telling him it didn't matter, that he didn't have to say anything. I was not going to make this easy for him. "I wanted to tell you this on the ride, but now will have to do." He blew out another breath. "I've been thinking about what you said, that I must be prepared to risk losing you. I've thought of little else."
My tongue began to hurt so I bit my cheek instead and nodded at him to go on.
"I think you're wrong."
"Pardon?" I blurted out.
He gripped the chair back behind him. "There is risk to your safety no matter if you are with me or not, and with the ministry or not. Edgecombe proved that. He could have shot you or anyone in that room, accidentally or on purpose. And now the saddle…" He cleared his throat. "You and I are not…together…and yet there continues to be risks. So you see, we might as well be together as apart."
It wasn't very eloquent, but he wasn't a man who was comfortable with expressing his emotions. "I like how you thought it through," I said with a small smile.
His brows lifted. "And?"
I stepped closer to him. "And I like that you are not going to shut me away in this house to keep me safe, despite the incident with the saddle."
"I didn't say that."
"I want to expose the person trying to hurt me, Lincoln, not hide from them."
