Page 18 of The Warrior Priest
I watched him carefully, until he turned to the fire again so I couldn’t see his face. “Sheisback in Tilting, by the way. I saw her today.”
He sighed. “This is not going well,” he murmured.
“What’s not going well? Rhys, what is it? Talk to me.”
He didn’t answer.
“Is it the promotion? Are you doubting yourself for the role?”
He grunted.
“You claimed you didn’t want it, that there was no one else, but I know you’ll be good at it, Rhys. Better than good.”
“That’s not it.”
Then it had to be Giselle. She and the promotion were the only two changes in his life that could have brought on this melancholy. Perhaps it was both combined. I hardly dared ask, afraid of the answer. But I had to know. It was best to find out now rather than allow my feelings for him to grow.
“Are you worried because being the second-in-command makes it harder for you to leave the order?”
He raised his head. A beat passed. Two. “What would you say if I said I was considering it?”
My chest tightened. I couldn’t breathe. He loved her so much he was considering leaving the order for her? Merdu’s Guards was his family, his entire life. It wasn’t merely a profession, like being a carpenter or constable, it was intertwined with his faith. A carpenter or constable could leave their work behind them when they went home, but a warrior priest’s days and nights were consumed with prayer, contemplation and training. It was hisessence. Not to mention Rhys’s star in the order was rising. It was an awful lot to give up.
Particularly to marry a thief. I wanted to tell him Giselle wasn’t worth it, but that wasn’t my decision to make. Besides, it could harm our friendship and that was the last thing I wanted. I may never have Rhys as anything more than a friend, but I didn’t want to lose even that.
Yet, as his friend, I still had to give him some advice since he clearly wanted it. “I think you’re mad.”
He lowered his head and resumed staring at the fire. I’d not given him the answer he hoped for.
I hated seeing him like this. I hated that Giselle was the reason for his sorrow, and I hated that I could make his choice easier by telling him what I knew about her. But Ihadto do it. Sometimes when you love someone, you have to risk losing them to help them. “Rhys, there’s something you should know.”
“I’m already aware. I heard that he saw you.”
I frowned, trying to follow the shift in the conversation. “Are you talking about my uncle?”
He nodded.
“How did you find out?”
“One of my other spies informed me the governor spoke to the sheriff and asked him if it’s possible you weren’t killed in that fire. He told the sheriff he thinks he saw you today, passing yourself off as a boy.”
“He did,” I said heavily.
Rhys drummed his fingers on the mantelpiece again, only to stop when he realized he was doing it. He closed his fingers into a fist. “I’m worried about you, Jac.”
I couldn’t deny it felt good to know that Rhys thought about me at all, but I didn’t want to be the cause of his worry. Rhys had always been so full of mischief and laughter, and I didn’t want to be another burden on top of his new duties as second-in-command.
“Tilting is a large city,” I assured him. “He won’t find me.”
“He already has once. Anyway, you can’t be a boy forever,” he said without taking his gaze off the flames. “Sooner or later, people will realize. They’ll ask questions about the youth who never grows up. What if the governor conducts a search? If he offers a reward for the lad who looks like his niece, how long will it be before someone turns you in?”
I’d never wanted to put my arms around him more than I did in that moment. He needed comforting. We both did. To be embraced by his warmth, to feel his heart beat against my cheek, and the tension in his muscles ease as he relaxed against me… It was all I wanted.
I suddenly felt a little unsteady, so I sat in the armchair. From that angle I had a better view of his profile. Firelight softened the strong angles of his cheek and jaw, giving him a vulnerability I’d never noticed before. I tried to look away but couldn’t. My gaze was drawn to him.
His was drawn to the flames. “You have two choices, Jac. You could leave Tilting.”
“I’m not leaving. Where would I go?”
