Page 43 of The Warrior Priest
“No. Not there.”
“Why not?”
“Mistress Blundle and the other neighbors have seen my face, and it’s connected to you and the order. I won’t endanger you, too, Rhys.”
“I can look after myself.”
I handed back the flyer, well aware that my hand shook. I turned to go inside.
“There’s another option,” Rhys said, following me in.
I got down on my knees beside the bed and pulled out an old bag from under it. All I needed to take was some clothes. Everything else could be left behind. I stood and found myself toe-to-toe with a seething Rhys.
He grabbed the bag’s handle. “Give up the pendant. He wants it, not you.”
I wrenched the bag free. “It’s the only thing I have of my mother’s.”
“When your uncle passes away, you can make a claim for it. There must be an inheritance law that says you have a claim on sentimental items.”
I didn’t know if that were true, but I did know there was a good chance I’d never see it again if I gave it up. I didn’twantto give it up, and certainly not to Uncle Roderic. My mother had pressed upon me the need to keep it safe and with me at all times. I wouldn’t fail her.
“You believe in the legend, don’t you?” Rhys asked, incredulous. “Is that it?”
Perhaps I did believe it. Or perhaps I simplywantedit to be true, so that I could wield the power myself, and defeat my uncle once and for all. I hated being weak and reliant on men, including the fierce tower of muscle before me. While it was reassuring to know he would protect me, what would happen if he was no longer around? Besides, I meant what I said. I wouldn’t endanger him if I could help it. Which I could.
I opened my trunk and removed two folded shirts and shoved them into the bag.
“For Merdu’s sake, Jac! It’s not real. It’s just a story.” When I didn’t respond, he snatched the bag away. “I won’t let you risk your life for an object that can be replaced.”
I removed more clothing from the trunk and rounded on him. Fury darkened his face and turned his features stony. I knew his anger wasn’t directed at me, that he was worried, but I couldn’t help thinking that part of his anger was because I didn’t believe as strongly as him in the religion. I was open to other possibilities, including the existence of the sorcerer and their power locked within a pendant. Rhys’s faith wouldn’t let him consider an alternative to Merdu, Hailia, and the minor gods and goddesses. Our differing beliefs had always been lurking between us, threatening to cause a rift.
It was a rift that could either be bridged or it would push us further apart. The outcome was up to us, and I’d hoped to tackle the subject at a later time that felt right. It was another thing my uncle’s actions had forced upon me before I was ready.
“Are you threatening to take the pendant off me?” I opened my arms wide. “Go ahead, Rhys. You’re stronger than me. I can’t stop you.”
“Don’t, Jac,” he growled. “Don’t do this.”
“Afraid of touching me, Rhys? Is that what’s holding you back?”
His gaze shuttered, his ferocity not quite extinguished, merely smoldering. He crossed his arms over his chest. “Tell me where you’re going. I’ll come tonight and we can talk about this like reasonable people.”
“Iambeing reasonable, Rhys. It’s you who isn’t reasonable. It’s one thing to have faith in something you can’t see or touch?—”
“Says the woman who believes a pendant holds power!”
“—but it’s another altogether to base your entire life around that faith, especially when you don’t even agree with all its rules! You eat tasteless food because you’retoldto eat it. You can’t keep nice things because you’re notallowed. You won’t even satisfy your most basic need because at some point long ago, a sexless person decided everyone should be like him and forbade his followers from experiencing the pleasures of the flesh because he believed it would help them serve the god and goddess better.” I slammed the trunk lid down and rounded on him again. “Oh, no, wait. Youdosatisfy your urges, just not withme.” I grabbed the bag and shoved the rest of my clothes inside. “Point taken, Rhys.”
I’d never seen him look so stunned. He stared at me, unblinking, his lips parted. He scanned my face, as if searching for the woman he used to know, the one who may not have been meek, but was certainly mild-mannered. I’d never shown any anger toward him before, never told him what I thought of his life as a priest.
That was because I’d never really had a strong opinion on the matter. It had simply been a fact about Rhys that I accepted. Yet that acceptance had begun to wane over the last little while. I wasn’t even sure when it began. It had crept up slowly, then accelerated after that kiss. Meeting Giselle and hearing about Rhys’s other women certainly hadn’t helped. Discovering that he’d been willing to break his vow of celibacy for others but not for me had been the final straw. Years of pent-up frustration had spilled out of me under the pressure.
It was an enormous relief to release that frustration. As much as I hated being the cause of his hurt feelings, I knew deep down it would have come out sooner or later.
Rhys’s throat moved with his hard swallow. “I can’t tell whether you’re saying that to push me away to protect me from your uncle, but if that is the case, it won’t work. I won’t be pushed away when you need me the most. I will always protect you, Jac, even if it means jeopardizing my position in the order.”
I put the bag down, took a step toward him, and shoved him in the chest with both hands. He hardly budged, but I felt a little better for it. “You’re not listening to me, Rhys!”
There was nothing more to say to him that wouldn’t be repeating myself, so I picked up the bag and marched outside. Rhys’s horse was tethered in the courtyard. Some of the younger children patted him while others kept a cautious distance. The delicious smells from Mistress Lowey’s kitchen filled the small space, as it always did at this time of day. It was a familiar, comfortable scene.
