Page 34 of Mayfair Madame
“Long story short, I ended up in therapy. I learnt to deal with it, but I’m incredibly self-conscious of my body and hate anyone seeing it.”
“How did you get on with Kate?”
I blew out a breath. “Kate became part of the problem. I tell myself she left because of the work hours, but I think it had more to do with how I looked.”
“That’s messed up, and she didn’t deserve you, then. Were you bulimic? Anorexic?”
“No, nothing like that. I loved food too much to stop eating, and then that became part of the problem. I ate to forget. When I was stressed, I ate until it was a habit I couldn’t break. And now look at me.”
“I have looked at you, and I like what I see. Asking you out was the hardest thing I’ve done in a long time, and I’m upset that you don’t trust me. I know we’ve not known each other long, but I hoped that from the interaction we’d had, you’d see I’m an honest person. You have more to offer than looks, Ellie. Sothat’s why we’re sitting here talking instead of you walking out the door.”
“I know you’re honest, and I do trust you, but as I said before, it’s me, not you. You are gorgeous and so fucking sexy. I can’t help wondering what you see in me. When Kate left, I spiralled. I binged on all the wrong things and put far too much weight on. I seem to be in a constant cycle of diets, fasting and trying to shed pounds.”
“It can be difficult, and I can understand why you feel the way you do. Did I force you into something you weren’t comfortable with? I never meant to do that to you.”
“You didn’t. I really wanted tonight to work. It’s my hang up, not yours. I can only apologise.”
She patted the seat next to her. “There’s no need to apologise. Come sit by me, please.”
Why was she being so nice? I placed the coffee on the table and sat next to her. She unfurled her feet and lay down, her head in my lap.
“Tell me more.”
“I don’t know what else to say. Right now, I’m existing on a diet of terrible coffee, sugar-free gum, and hope.”
I stroked down her arm and rested my hand on her waist.
“It’s a wonder you don’t pass out. There are ways of getting the nutrition you need without piling on the pounds. If you’d like, I could help you with that.”
“You don’t have to do that for me.”
“No, I don’t, but I want to. Would you believe I have a similar story?”
“What? I don’t believe you. Look at you.” Although it wasn’t outside of the realm of possibility. People lost weight all the time. Just because I couldn’t do it didn’t mean others had the same problem.
“My problem was a little different from yours. I was a skinny kid. I struggled to keep weight on. Even now, I have to really try to keep this weight. I’m not trying to rub it in, Ellie.”
“I know. Was there a reason?”
“Urgh, another long story. Too long for tonight. This is nice, though.” She snuggled a little deeper into my lap. I enjoyed sitting with her like this.
I looked around the room. What would it be like to live somewhere like this? Josh and I had only been here briefly, sat on this exact sofa. A bank of windows covered one wall, giving a view of London. The skyline full of twinkling lights.
It reminded me a little of Emmeline’s place, but the decor here was far more modern. Huge cream fabric sofas, a gorgeous wooden coffee table, cream carpets, and a patterned rug.
Nothing at all like the dreary flat I lived in. One dingy living room with a beige sofa and TV. A kitchen that had seen much better days. No oven, but at least I had a microwave, and if I wanted to warm anything else up, I had a hot plate.
My view definitely wasn’t as good as this one.
“What are you thinking about? You’ve gone all quiet.”
“I was just admiring the view.” I looked down at her lying in my lap, at the curve of her body. The robe had slipped to one side, revealing her long, shapely legs.
Naomi shivered as I stroked my hand along her thigh.
“Don’t start something you can’t finish, Ellie,” she said, her voice low.
I chuckled. “I think I finished you off pretty good earlier.”
