Page 64 of Mayfair Madame
“I’d been cocky and stupid, thinking I knew everything at just age twenty, but I’d known nothing. Fortunately, I wasn’t hurt too much. A slap here and there, torn clothes. I’d fought like a hellion, scratching and kicking until I’d been able to escape, but not before he’d pinned me down, his arm against my throat.”
“Didn’t it put you off? You could have been killed.”
“Back then, I thought I was invincible. Yes, it scared the crap out of me, but not enough to stop and think about getting a different job.Admittedly, I wasn’t earning the money I am now, but it beat working in a shop or as a waitress. I was greedy for money, and being an escort was an easy way to earn it.”
I hated the look on her face, but if we were to make anything of this, she needed to know the good and the bad. And there was so much bad, worse than I was telling her now.
Could I ever tell her the rest? I didn’t know. I could barely recall it myself without throwing myself into a state of panic. Those memories caused nightmares, insomnia, sleepless nights. Those memories had put me in therapy.
“How did you even get into the escort business?”
I took another sip of coffee. This was always the hard part:getting people to understand why I did what I did. How I got into the business and stayed here.
But to explain how I started, I’d need to explain the other stuff. The dark, depressing shit that dragged me down into the darkness. Was I ready to reveal that yet?
The answer was no, but I needed to start somewhere.
“I was eighteen, no longer welcome in the foster system I’d been in since I’d been ten. One minute I had a home. Next, I was more or less homeless. Don’t get me wrong, I was more than happy to be out of the system. Let’s just say it had never been an enjoyable experience for me.”
“Oh my God, Naomi, I’m so sorry.”
I shook my head. “Don’t be. In hindsight, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. A friend from college offered me the spare room in their flat. Seemed like a good idea, but what I didn’t know was that they supplemented their income as an escort.”
She opened her mouth to speak, then closed it again as I held up my hand. If I didn’t get it all out now, I might never tell her, and she deserved to know. I’d kept her waiting long enough.
“He was a good-looking guy, and the place we lived in was so much better than anything I’d seen in my life. So much better than the fucking foster homes. I hated them, but until I was eighteen, I couldn’t leave. Let’s just say social services kept a close eye on me. Another story for another day.”
I shifted in the bed. We were straying into uncomfortable territory. I needed to keep the conversation on track.
“What happened next?” Her voice softened. She must have realised there was more to my story I wasn’t yet ready to divulge.
“One night he asked me if I was interested in joining him for a night out. The girl he often worked with couldn’t make it, and they had a dinner reservation for four. Where was the harm? I was eighteen, easily impressed, and when I pocketed a couple of hundred quid for going out for a meal, I didn’t see the problem.”
“And did you…”
“Have sex? No, not right away. Denny looked after me at first. He showed me the ropes, helped me choose clients who were happy with my company.The money rolled in, and being as naïve as I was, I racked up debt. A lot. Credit cards, loans, you name it, I owed it. It became more difficult to pay it off, and after talking to one of the other girls, I realised I could earn more by selling not just my time.”
“Why didn’t you just leave? Find another job?”
No one understood why I stayed, why I didn’t leave the agency and find a ‘reputable’ job. But once you get used to the money, it sucks when you don’t have it.
“Because it was easier to stay with something I knew. I wasn’t cut out for an office, and anyway, I’d never been one to conform. School held no appeal. I barely even went to high school. I wasn’t stupid, but I didn’t have any qualifications. How could I find a job that earned me the same money?”
“I guess I never thought of it that way.” While Ellie still hadn’t let go of my hand, I saw in her face she didn’t quite understand. She couldn’t even look at me. I’d told no one my reasons for staying other than Rupert. Even Melinda didn’t know the complete story, but I wasn’t ashamed of what I’d done.Far from it. I was proud of the woman I’d become.
“Hey.” I reached up and touched her cheek. “You asked for my story, Ellie. This is it. I know it’s not pretty, and I know many people don’t understand why I’m still here doing a job that most see as cheap and dirty. But this is my life, and I’m damned if anyone is going to make me feel less than anyone else.”
“I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry. Being on the other side of the fence, so to speak, I’ve always wondered why women and men go straight back out there, even when they’ve been beaten or robbed. Please forgive me. Carry on.”
She gripped my hand tighter. Hopefully, she would still be here when I finished my story.
“One thing led to another, and I did what I thought was best forme. I started selling more than just my time. I wasn’t on the streets every night, but I knew many who were. It wasn’t always sex. Some wanted me for my company, but most wanted me for my body. I was exotic, enticing, and sensual.Those were the words used to describe me on the website. It garnered interest. I became popular and in demand.”
Ellie widened her eyes. Was this too much?
“We can carry this on another time, if you’d like. You only got out-of-hospital yesterday, and I’m sure you don’t need to hear all this right now.”
“Yes. No, of course. Whatever you want. I can make us some breakfast. I was thinking I might go home today.”
