Page 79 of Mayfair Madame
“Do you want me to go see Godfrey? Warn him off?”
“I have no proof, Ellie, and it could make matters worse. I’ll delete the messages, and we’ll forget all about it.”
I stroked her arm as we lay in silence. “He’s ruined our night,” I grumbled.
“He hasn’t. We had a lovely time until then. It’s just a blip, and tomorrow, he’ll be a distant memory.”
“Don’t you dare do anything, Ellie. I know you have a sense of righteousness, but he doesn’t deserve our time. And don’t roll your eyes at me.”
She laughed, a sweet sound that made my heart feel a little lighter.
“How did you know?”
“Because irrespective of how long we’ve known each other, I know what you’re like, Ellie Sharpe. You don’t hide your feelings well.”
We lay for a while longer, the rain now battering the windows. The weather changed from one day to the next. One day it was glorious sunshine; the next, wind and rain so harsh, it could almost be winter, not the height of summer.
“Will you tell me what happened to you? You know, when you were younger.”
I blew out a breath and rubbed my chest, a nervous habit I’dpicked up and one I’d not done for a while.
“You don’t have to if it’s too much.”
Was it too much? No, it wasn’t.
“When I was ten, my mother went to prison. Prostitution and drug offences. Dad was nowhere to be found, and my gran was too old to look after me on her own. Social services took me away and placed me with a family I didn’t know. They were the first of many, and not too bad.”
“That sounds awful.”
It was, but I’d become so used to talking about it to my therapist and Rupert, any emotions I’d previously felt had been scrubbed away.
“I’ve spent many years in therapy going over this. It’s a time of my life I’ve tried hard to put behind me, but sometimes, when I’m least expecting it, the night terrors come back to haunt me. Don’t get me wrong, not every home I stayed in was bad, but the majority were.”
Ellie took my hand and squeezed. “I’m so sorry.”
“Hey, it’s fine. I promise. Anyway, I’m not sure what happened,but after about six months, I was moved to another home, then another and another, until finally, they decided I couldn’t go home. Mum was deemed unfit to care for me, and there was no one else.”
“I was placed in what they called long-term fostering. I never knew what was happening. If I were staying or going. Always living on the edge caused untold anxieties and insecurities. Thefamily I was with chose to keep me in the dark about how long I stayed with them.”
“How old were you by then?”
“Thirteen, almost fourteen. I’d been passed from pillar to post and lost count of how many homes I’d actually been in. There was the odd stint at home when Mum wasn’t in prison, but it was never for long, and I inevitably ended up back in the system.”
“Didn’t you have any other family? Aunts or uncles?”
“Nope. I was an only child, as was Mum, and of course, I never knew my dad. So there was just Gran.”
“I…I…”
“You don’t have to say anything, Ellie. I’m over it. I promise.”
I snuggled down a little farther and took her with me. I turned off the bedside lamp, leaving the room in darkness. Heavy rain had given way to a storm, and bright lightning lit up the room, followed by thunder rumbling through the city.
“The last but one home I stayed in was the worst. They hated my being black. They barely fed me, all my clothes were from a charity shop, and half of them didn’t fit. I was bullied at school, but no one seemed to care. I wasn’t the best pupil. I skipped school, played up in class, and then one day,I got detention. I was made to stay after lessons had finished for an hour. I didn’t have a mobile phone, and by the time I arrived home, things had escalated.”
Ellie put her hands over her eyes, but it wouldn’t change anything.
“Do you want me to carry on?” Even now, years afterwards, knowing what was coming, fear gripped me. The thud of my racing heart was loud in my ears, and my hands shook.
