Page 14 of A Girl, Unbroken
If the hate came from me, he would no longer have to worry about his feelings. He had done that from the beginning. That was definitely the reason for this act.
It rained a second time that afternoon and the shed absorbed the moisture. My clothes remained damp, it was hot and stuffy, my stomach was growling, and I was thirsty. There was nothing to do here because all the tools that were stored here and the wheelbarrow were outside.
I waited.
Nathan didn’t come.
At some point, I banged on the door. “Nathan! For heaven’s sake, let me out! Nathan!”
Even though he definitely heard me, he was probably ignoring me. The others didn’t show up either, probably because he had forbidden it. Like his brother.
I kept waiting. Swarms of mosquitoes found their way through the cracks and kept landing on my arms, so I keptthrashing around, which wasn’t really possible in the cramped space without bumping into something.
Now and then, I stood and peered outside through the gaps between the boards, but there was nothing there except shimmering damp air.
At some point, after what seemed like an eternity, Nathan finally returned. He had a bottle of water with him, which he wordlessly pressed into my hand. “Do you need to use the bathroom?” he asked.
“No,” I lied defiantly, hoping he would say something else, but he slammed the door in my face.
I heard the lock click and his footsteps moving away.
“Are we back to a hostage situation now?” I called after him. “You wanted to teach me what deprivation means! Are you doing that now? Am I only getting bread and water now?”
He didn’t answer.
Scumbag!
And I didn’t even have bread!
Hours passed or at least the wait felt like hours. I sensed the night creeping through the forest and I was afraid that Nathan wouldn’t let me out even in the dark. But the more time passed, the angrier I became. Still, I wouldn’t hate him, that he wouldn’t achieve, and that gave me a tiny triumph.
If only I didn’t need to use the bathroom so badly!I should have gone earlier! Besides, I had long since finished the water bottle and was still thirsty. I sat on the floor and spun it around like I was playing Spin the Bottle until noises in the approaching dusk made me uneasy.
The plants around me rustled as if snakes were slithering over the fallen leaves. The thought sent a cold shiver down my spine.
I quickly rose and banged on the door. “Nathan! What if a snake crawls in here?” Okay, that was definitely not an argumenthe wanted to hear, but I was terrified of coral snakes. I peered through the cracks again and listened.
Yellow lights smoldered in the distance like the reflective eyes of alligators, and every now and then, I heard a loud splash, like a small car falling into the water. What if Isaac was creeping up now and I was trapped here unable to run away?
I stood tensely in the middle of the shed, but when my stomach growled for the umpteenth time, I pressed my nose against the wood again and looked up at the lit windows. I could faintly smell stew, and even if it were only canned food, I would have given anything for it.
But I received nothing. Instead, I heard the clatter of dishes and voices rang out now and again. I heard Pan speaking, but I didn’t understand exactly what he was saying, but it sounded disapproving. Maybe he was taking my side. Full of hope, I peered out with one eye. Now, the night was a black, living shimmer. The swampy forest was full of noise, and when the light in the wooden house went out, it was suddenly pitch black.
Nathan was serious. He was going to keep me trapped in here all night. Just as I thought that, I heard someone fiddling with the padlock, and a second later, the door opened.
“Here, another drink for you.” Nathan stood in the darkness. I blinked several times to get a better look. He stared at me, still as a statue. I suddenly felt infinitely vulnerable and I certainly looked awful.
“I don’t hate you,” I whispered, starting to cry and cursing myself. “You lost.”
“This isn’t a game, Will.” His eyes glowed in the blackness like night-darkened seawater in a spotlight. For a moment, I thought about how he had saved me from drowning and his brother. I thought about Pan saying he had a good heart.Gott hjarta, but I hadn’t felt any of that today and I was furious.
Nevertheless, I took the small water bottle he held out to me and drank it in one go. When I went to give it back to him, the entrance was empty.
I quickly exited. He was standing at the side of the shed with his arms crossed, watching me. He didn’t say a word, but he looked guilty. Guilty yet angry.
“The shed is snake-proof,” he said now. “I laid a tarpaulin myself during the first few days because we were always getting tools from there. So, you weren’t in any danger, just so you know.”
I didn’t care about his words even though they reassured me that he hadn’t forgotten about my safety in his anger. Still, I wanted to get away now. Away from him and away from the others who hadn’t helped me.
