Page 12 of I Would Stay Forever
Well, I wasn’t sure what would happen. Because I didn’t know if there even was somebody under here. But my brother witnessing me getting supposedly stood up would be bad enough too.
Hovering here and debating it was probably the worst thing I could do at this moment, because it just meant a higher chance of him noticing me, but I was frozen in place from indecision.
As if the universe heard that thought and decided to make the decision for me, two hands came out from under the bleachers and grabbed me. I screamed as I was pulled into the dark space, but a hand clamped over my mouth to muffle the sound. I stumbled backwards, trying to elbow the person who had a hold on me, but clearly my defensive skills were not up to snuff because I kept missing and only getting air.
“Shhhh, Lavender, it’s just me,” a voice whispered in my ear. I wasn’t normally one for recognizing voices, but I’d know this one anywhere.
Because the person who asked me to meet him under the bleachers was my brother’s best friend.
eight
When Deanfinally let go of me, I didn’t scream—but I did whirl around and smack him as hard as I could in the chest. Not that it did much good, since there wasn’t even a flash of pain or annoyance on his face. Far from it, actually. Instead, he grinned at me.
My mouth went a little dry as I took in his appearance. Like this morning, I was hit by how good he looked in his school uniform. How had I never noticed that before? Because Sebastian and I were born in the same year—him in January and me in December—I was in the same grade as him and Dean, but I rarely had classes with either of them, but even when I did, I couldn’t remember ever noticing Dean so much. This was all Zoey’s fault for becoming obsessed with football players at the end of last year. She’d gotten it into my head that they were all to die for, and now I was putting that on Dean.
I knew I should look away before he made a comment about me gawking at him, but I found it remarkably hard to do, especially when he was staring right back at me. I was sure he wasn’t checking me out because there was no chance in hell that he would be interested in his best friend’s sister. But the staringmade me think he was waiting for me to make the first move, even though he was the one who pulled me under the bleachers.
For a lack of anything better to greet him with, I just said, “I thought the note was for somebody else.”
He frowned, and for a moment I wondered if I was somehow mistaken and the note wasn’t from him. Like for some reason, he’d noticed me dawdling by the bleachers and decided to pull me in for fun. But then he asked, “Who else would it be for?”
Strangely, the confirmation that the note had been for me didn’t make me feel any better about coming here. Now, I was wondering why I’d thought this was a good idea. Anyone who had to resort to leaving a note in my locker to get me to meet with them obviously wasn’t someone I really wanted to see, because if they were actually my friend, they would just text me instead.
I sighed and pushed my sunglasses on top of my head. “I thought the note was for the person who had the locker before me.”
He raised his eyebrows. “And yet you showed up.”
I huffed, mainly because he wasn’t wrong and it annoyed me. “I’m just saying, you could have been a little more specific. Maybe added aDear Lavenderor signed your name.”
“If I signed it, would you have come?”
The question was so blunt that I blinked in surprise, no retort ready as I realized that I wasn’t sure. Even though we’d never really been friends, Dean and I had never gone five weeks without seeing each other at all. He came over all the time, passed by me on the street, went to all the same hangout spots as me. I’d had to go out of my way not to see him during August, and I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised that he noticed.
“Of course I would,” I mumbled, but it was hard for me to put any conviction in my words since I was lying through my teeth. I’d been avoiding him since the end of July, and if he had signedthe note, I wouldn’t be here today. I didn’t want to have to face him after what had happened. Even though I knew that Dean was a good guy and he was a wonderful friend to Sebastian, I couldn’t help being embarrassed that he was the one who found out about Dad. That he was the one who had to see me break down.
“I didn’t think so,” Dean said.
“Well, what do you want?” I asked, my voice more hostile than I intended. I didn’t apologize, though, because he’d brought me here under false pretenses. Not only knowing that I wouldn’t have come if he’d signed his name, but also pulling me under when he saw me hesitating.
But more than that, I was angry because now, all I was thinking about was Dad and that night. The way that Dean had looked at me with such pity in his eyes. And then how he had sat with me that night when I couldn’t sleep. The memories that had been playing on a loop in my mind ever since.
“Well, I guess I…” Dean trailed off and cleared his throat. When he spoke again, he was mumbling. “I guess I just wanted to check on you.”
Even though that was the last thing I’d wanted a minute ago, my heart softened at the words. I hadn’t wanted to deal with him asking how I was or assuming he could even begin to understand how I felt, but how could I be angry with him for caring enough to ask? Especially when nobody else had.
“I’m sorry,” I said, because it was clear his hesitation in saying his reasoning was because I snapped at him. “I’m not trying to be mean or anything, I just…” I gestured at the air vaguely, as if that would explain everything. He just looked at me with confusion in his eyes. I sighed and dropped my hand. “I wasn’t expecting it to be you here.”
“So who were you expecting?” he asked, a small smirk pulling at his face. “A boy who had a crush on you, coming to tell you how much he loved you?”
I smacked him again and this time he flinched back, although he was laughing still. I thought about his question for a moment. I’d mostly been expecting it to be empty under here, either because the note was old or it was some stupid prank that wasn’t funny. But I guess there was a small part of me that wondered if there actually was a boy who wanted to meet me under the bleachers. But as I considered who I might have wanted it to be, no name came to mind. In the past, I’d always been crushing on someone, even if it was just stupid fantasies to pass the time in boring classes. But as I thought about it now, I realized I hadn’t thought about boys at all in the last month.
I guess it was hard to imagine falling in love when you see just how much it can destroy you to be betrayed.
“Nobody,” I said. I lifted my chin in the air, trying to act like I didn’t care about any of this. “I thought that it would be empty under here and then I would go home, having done my due diligence in making sure that I hadn’t stood somebody up.”
Dean lifted his eyebrows. “Well, you’ve done your due diligence. You came. You’re here. So I guess you can leave now, guilt-free.”
I couldn’t tell whether he was trying to get me to leave or if he was just trying to prove a point that I wasn’t following. I glanced back at the opening that I’d been pulled in from, then at him again.
