Page 46 of I Would Stay Forever
“See you soon,” Sebastian said, walking out of the room with the jean jacket in hand, just as my phone buzzed with a text.
Zoey
Two minutes away!
I sighed and turned back to the bin, deciding that if he was wearing that, then I would wear a leather jacket so we didn’t match. I was just pulling it on when I heard Ainsley yell Sebastian’s name in an accusing tone. A moment later, I saw him, Dean, and Nora practically racing out of the house and smiled to myself.
They pulled out of the driveway moments before Paige’s car pulled in and I ran downstairs so I wouldn’t make her wait. I almost ran headfirst into Imogen on my way down, but she was too busy yelling up to Ainsley to even notice.
I enjoyed the blissful silence of the outside evening for as long as it took me to walk to Paige’s car, knowing that she would have her music playing just as loudly as Ainsley’s had been inside. I was the last one of us to be picked up, so I missed out on shotgun, but I slid in the back next to Molly. I’d barely buckled up my seatbelt when she whipped back out of the driveway at full speed, and I was just grateful that I didn’t get thrown across the car. It felt more like Sebastian’s driving than Paige’s.
“What’s your rush?” I yelled to her, because that was the only way she would be able to hear me.
“Meeting someone!” she yelled back. “We’re late!”
I didn’t point out that she’d actually shown up to my house ten minutes earlier than she’d said she was going to and she was lucky that I was ready when she did. It was only then that I noticed Zoey fixing her makeup in the front seat and I figured she’d been picked up before she was ready and was told to either get in the car or be left behind.
The party was in full swing by the time we got there, to the point of red Solo cups being dumped all over the ground and even a little bit of vomit that I had to sidestep as I walked up to the house. I passed my brother briefly as I walked through the living room, but he was busy talking to some guys with really serious looks on their faces, one of whom was handing out small pieces of paper with a concentrated look on his face. Next, we passed through the kitchen, where I noticed Nora chatting with a pink-haired girl I’d seen around school. I couldn’t remember her name, just that it was something unusual, and she was on the swim team with Ainsley. I smiled at Nora as I walked by but she was preoccupied and didn’t notice. I glanced back at Sebastian one more time, wondering why he’d invited Nora along then ditched her as soon as they arrived but decided it wasn’t my problem.
Drinks were available on the back deck, and I was quick to grab a Sprite for myself instead of giving Paige and Zoey the chance to make me something disgusting. Paige asked if I wouldn’t mind driving us home before filling her cup with cheap beer with Coca-Cola. My lip curled as I watched Zoey follow suit for her and Molly, but I was happy as long as I wouldn’t be drinking it along with them.
“Come with me!” Paige said to Molly, and then before the redhead could protest, she pulled her down the porch steps andacross the back lawn. Before long, they were sidling up to some boys, who must have been who Paige was talking about in the car.
“Paige is super into that guy and she wants to set Molly up with his brother so they can double,” Zoey told me conspiratorially. Her eyes locked on something on the other side of the yard and she got a look on her face that made me a little nervous. “And speaking of boys…”
Already knowing I was going to regret it, I turned to look at what she was talking about. Lo and behold, there was Dean, sitting alone on the rock of a water fixture. It should have looked pathetic and lonely but as he casually leaned back and took a sip of his drink, I thought he actually gave off the vibe of not caring. Like this party was so far beneath him that he couldn’t even be bothered to join in.
“Go talk to him,” Zoey hissed.
“I can’t,” I said, digging my heels in as she tried to shove me forward. “I’m staying with you.”
“I don’t want you to talk to me.”
I put a hand to my chest. “I’ll do my best not to be offended by that.”
She rolled her eyes and pushed me harder. This time, I stumbled and she came with me. A couple people on the grass looked at us weirdly but I ignored them. Even if I managed to royally embarrass myself at this party, I was sure nobody but me was sober enough to remember it later.
“Go. Talk. To. Him,” she said, enunciating each word like it was its own sentence. “He already took you out for lunch earlier this week. Shouldn’t you be having fun now? You guys are, like, basically in love now.”
I was starting to understand why Zoey ended up in relationships so easily. The moment a boy showed interest in her, she fell hard. But I also suspected it was why she’d hadso many breakups too—she wasn’t exactly screening potential partners so she could end up with someone she actually liked. I’d seen how love, and following betrayal, could ruin a life. I wasn’t willing to fall in head-first and see where it took me. I couldn’t risk it.
So why was I walking toward him anyway?
“Hi,” I said as I came up close. Zoey wasn’t behind me anymore, but I couldn’t say when she stepped away. I tucked some hair behind my ears just for something to do with my free hand, then dropped it back down and started drawing circles on the side of my Sprite can.
I wasn’t sure why I felt so nervous around him all of a sudden. It used to be so much easier when I could make fun of him and talk to him however I wanted, knowing that it never mattered. But this past week had changed that, and I hated that I suddenly felt less comfortable around him. I hated that I suddenly felt like I had to be watchful of what I was saying, the way girls always seemed to tell me I had to when I liked a guy. There were mind games you had to play—make him want you more, don’t give away too much of your hand, don’t let him see that you’re interested until it’s the right time. I clearly wasn’t an expert at it and sometimes I worried that maybe I would push any guy away because I didn’t know how to play the game properly.
“I’ve been waiting for you,” he said.
From anyone else, the sentence probably would have been a little bit creepy, maybe a bit stalker-like. But from Dean, it just made my heart flutter.
“You have?” I asked hopefully, and then realized that I sounded way too eager about that. He’d obviously been joking and now I was making it weird. Great start, Lavender.
He shifted over on the rock and patted beside him, indicating for me to sit with him. I hesitated for a moment, suddenlyunsure whether he even wanted company. Sure, he had that “I don’t care” attitude about him, but maybe he was actually looking for some alone time and I was totally crashing it.
“You told me you were coming to this party,” he said. Rather than looking at me, his eyes were scanning the yard, but his ever-present smirk was on his face. “I figured the backyard was my best chance of seeing you since last week I saw you outside too.”
I took a sip of my drink, my face only feeling flushed. Last week, me standing in my bra, him offering me his shirt.
