Page 260 of The Nightmare Bride
Emotion rose up in me, thick and cloying. “You wanted to help Amryssa?”
Air jetted from his nose. “Yes. It’s like I told you—the liberators help people. And I’d heard the gossip, in Hightower. Suggestions that Kyven wasn’t the kindest of men. Though I didn’t know a thing about dead animals or seneschal’s daughters until you told me in the marsh yesterday.”
The power of his regard proved too much. I dropped my gaze, only to find myself eye-to-eye with that birthmark I loved so much.
Hadloved so much. Had, past tense.
“Where is he, then?” I managed. “The real Kyven?”
“Dead.”
I jerked my gaze up again.
The intensity of his focus sliced into me. “And before you go giving me that look, know that I had nothing to do with it. His carriage overturned on its own, for no other reason than he was driving too fast on a road that’s been filling with potholes for years. He died in the accident, and his attendants fled, and it fell into our laps, Harlowe. The carriage, the prince’s clothes...the whole thing, like an opportunity offered in an open palm. And it made sense to me to take it. Everyone would’ve gotten what they wanted. Including you, if only...” He pressed his lips together.
“What?” My voice rang with challenge. “If only I hadn’t taken Amryssa’s place?”
“Yes, but...” He grabbed my hand and pressed it to his heart, splaying my fingers against hot skin. “I’mgladyou did. I’m so unbelievably grateful it was you, because I never would’ve known what this was like, with her. I wouldn’t have known what this was like with anyone but you.”
I hissed between my teeth. “There is nothis.”
“There absolutely is. Don’t you dare deny it. Every word, every look, every nightmare you’ve ridden out with me, every confession, it’s all been real. This insignificant question of my name doesn’t change that.”
The urge to cry crowded my breathing. I couldn’t name this darkness inside me—fury, or broken-heartedness, or some perverse melding of the two that had somehow mutated into an undercurrent of desire. I wanted to hit him. I wanted to dive into his arms and stay there. I wanted to scream until I shattered, then shout that this was all his fault, that now it was his job to catch all the pieces.
“Fuck,” I muttered. Tears scrabbled up my throat and stabbed at my eyes. I blinked, unwilling to let them fall. “What evenisyour name?”
He sidled closer, his familiar scent raveling me into a chaotic knot.
“The same one you’ve been calling me.” Something raw boiled beneath his words. “The one I’veaskedyou to call me. It’s spelled differently—K-A-I—but I’ve been truthful, even about that. About everything. Gods know I tried not to be at first, but acting didn’t feel like acting, with you. It felt like lying. So I just...didn’t.”
“Kai.” I tested the name on my tongue. “What, you’re telling me you have half the prince’s name, just by random chance?”
“If any of this is random.” He stared me down. “I’ve never put much stock in the gods, but I have to wonder if Zephyrine can do more in her sleep than just dream people into a frenzy. Because all of this seems...strangely convenient. As though someone designed it this way.”
I blinked, unwilling to let him distract me with philosophy. “Ky. Kai. Fine, your name’s the same, but that accent? The way you talk? Lies.”
“No,” he said, with the same dark edge that had flavored his words in sleep, or in moments of high emotion, though I hadn’t understood the significance until right now. “This is me, lioness. At my truest. I’ve spoken this way for years. To friends, to lovers, to everyone who knows me. Windfell belonged to the sullen boy who hated himself. Hightower is for the man who claimed sovereignty over his own life. So you can’t tell me I need permission to speak this way, or some nonsensical birthright. Not when this is what feels like mine, whattastesright in my mouth.”
“It’s not what you were born with,” I snapped. “Which makes it a lie.”
“It’s not,” he growled, his anger rising. “No more than that face you wear, which, if I’m not mistaken, you weren’t born with, either. At least if Lunk is to be believed.”
I gaped up at him, wildfire sparking in my breast. “How dare you?”
“How dareyou? You of all people should understand what it means to define yourself. Because you and I are the same, lioness. How can you not see that? We’re people life tried to sweep under the carpet, only we stood up and refused. We reinvented ourselves and didn’t waste a moment on apology. I didn’t then, and I won’t now.”
“No, apology is obviously completely beyond you.”
“I’msorry,” he said. Despite the fury tightening his words, he sounded like he actually meant it. “But only for telling you I was Kyven. I’m not sorry for coming here. Or for marrying you. Or for falling half in love with you. Or for convincing you to fall half in love with me.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” I shrieked. “I’m not half in love with you.”
“Nowthat,” he said, leaning closer, “is a bald-faced lie. As far as I’m concerned, that makes us even.”
“I should slap you.”
“Go ahead.” Kai stared down, his mouth tight. His eyes were licks of blue fire, scorching away the air in the room until nothing remained but the stillness before a lightning strike. “But slapping me won’t stop me from wanting you, and it certainly won’t stop you from wanting me.”
