Page 67 of The Nightmare Bride
“This explains so much,” I said, leaving him to his secrets. I’d have the rest out of him, and soon. “But...what does this mean, exactly? For us? How does it affect the next month?”
One bronze brow arched. “Are you asking what I want from the rest of our marriage?”
“I... Yes. I think so.”
He chuckled and made a fruitless attempt to straighten his hair. “Something very different than you do, I’m sure.”
“Which is?”
He heaved a breath, as if squaring for battle. “I want...everything. To experience all life has to offer. Which means that for as long as I’m your husband, I’d like to actuallybeyour husband. In every sense. I want to live it. Breathe it. Map it from the inside until I can draw it in the dark. I want to sink into it. I want to bury myself inside you.”
At my startled look, he laughed. “Not likethat, lioness. Well, no, that’s absolutely a lie. I do want to bury myself inside you.Like that. But that’s not precisely what I mean, in this case. It’s more like...”
“Authenticity?” I offered, in a feeble attempt to recover. “Is that what you’re saying?”
His mouth snicked up. “Just so.”
My bare toes wriggled against the carpet, searching for purchase amidst this dizzying conversation. “That’swhat you meant when you said there was something in this marriage for you?”
“Does that surprise you so much?”
It did. It really did. Although I now understood why he’d refused to explain, up on the roof that day. If he had, I wouldn’t have believed a word.
But now that I’d seen him throw himself into one experience after another with unfailing enthusiasm, it almost made sense that he would approach marriage the same way.
“Surprise aside,” I said slowly, “what does authenticity mean to you, exactly? You want to...what? Share my bed? Stare into my eyes? Cuddle me? Fuck me?”
“I’m not talking aboutfucking.” His tongue trailed over the word, tasting it. Caressing it. His accent reshaped it from something crude into something luscious. “At least, notjustthat. If it were up to me, I’d take that, of course. And the staring, and the cuddling, and the bed-sharing. And some of this, too. Where I look after you, like I did last night. That’s part of this whole matrimony business, if I’m not mistaken.”
I ignored the sudden fluttering inside my ribcage. “But if we did all that, we’d be married. Completely. With no way to annul it.”
“Oh, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that things are what you make them.” His voice smoothed, like honey across satin. “As far as I’m concerned, no king, no law, can tell me who or what I am. The same is true in this. What you and I are to one another is ours alone. It’s decided here, in this room, and nowhere else. Certainly not in Hightower, or by some crusty old monarch. Which is what I meant when I said I don’t take vows seriously. I didn’t mean I don’t takemyselfseriously. Only words forced upon me by other people.”
My throat worked. It took me three tries to produce a response. “So no matter what we do, you’ll sign the annulment? Marry Amryssa?”
He didn’t blink. “Is that what you want?”
My pulse stumbled, then righted itself. It absolutely was. Kyven was her only route out of Oceansgate. Her only chance at safety. “More than anything.”
“Then why not? But you should know I have no intention of repeating this withher. Once it’s done, I think it’s best if I move on. That’s what I’d always planned, truth be told.”
“What, to...leave?”
His smile flattened, turning rueful. “Yes. Your Lady can have her place in Hightower, without me. And I’ll walk out into a nightmare, never to be heard from again.”
I digested that. “But everyone would think you were dead. Wherever you went, you wouldn’t be a prince anymore.”
“I’ve spent most of my life not being a prince. It wouldn’t be anything new.”
My thoughts whirred, but this was...perfect, actually. He could live as he liked, no arranged marriages or royal fathers to answer to. The king would consider his problem solved, and Amryssa would have a wonderful life. I could even accompany her to Hightower, something I hadn’t dared hope for. “But where would you go?”
He shrugged. “Fairmont, probably. The only territory I haven’t seen. The last accent I have left to collect.”
Fairmont. Smack-dab in the middle of Elara. He’d be far enough from both Oceansgate and Hightower that we wouldn’t chance seeing him again.
A thrum started up in my veins. “I like this idea.”
“Oh?” His voice dipped into husky territory. “Which part? All of it?”
