Page 14 of Two Hearts
Grace had bought a naughty black teddy, all but transparent, with garters and lace and a built-in push-up bra—and a pair of high-heeled slippers with fuzzy tufts of black at the toes.She had even packed them.
But she couldn’t wear them.Oh, she might fantasize about slinking across the hotel room while Jack’s eyeballs popped.But he wasn’t like that.
He was…above that kind of carnal decadence.It must have been bred out of him, or trained out of him, but either way, he was above it.A gentleman.His every touch, every kiss, had always been gentle, respectful, careful.
And he thought she was some kind of an angel.
So, with a sigh of reluctance and a nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach, Grace stuffed the black lace back into the very bottom of her suitcase, and she put on the long, white satin nightgown instead.It was sexy, too, but in a clean, virginal-bride sort of way.
She was no virgin bride.He was going to know that, but he would be too much of a gentleman to ask about it.
She almost wished he would.A spark of jealousy, a burst of anger, would reassure her somehow.Because though she loved him, and she knew he loved her, there seemed to have been something missing in their relationship so far.
Passion.
Jack tapped on the bathroom door.“Are you all right in there, Grace?”
Closing her eyes, she shook away her foolish notions.It was wedding-night jitters and nothing more.“Fine, darling.I’ll be right out.”
She looked one last time at the suitcase that held her hidden fantasies tucked away in the bottom.Then she closed the lid with a decisive click and, turning, opened the door.
Jack smiled gently when she did.His eyes skimmed lower, to her feet, and up again, and he said, “You look like an angel.”With one hand, he stroked her outer arm, shoulder to wrist.“Almost too beautiful to touch.”
Not exactly the reaction she’d been hoping for.
They had never made love before.Jack had never even suggested it, but Grace had seen fleeting, all-too-brief glimpses of the fire buried deep inside him once or twice.When their kisses had become heated, when she’d forgotten for an instant the role she was supposed to be playing.She’d told herself he was holding his passion inside because he was a gentleman and because he respected her enough to want to wait until they were married.She’d told herself it would be loosed tonight.That his restraint, so obvious she could feel it tugging at him every time they touched, would fall away.That he would take her to the very heights of ecstasy tonight.
He didn’t.
Oh, it was tender, their lovemaking.Tender, and gentle, and slow.More like intimate snuggling, she thought, than actual sex.She felt him trembling as he moved on top of her, his shoulders virtually quivering like a volcano of passion bubbling beneath the surface, waiting to erupt.But it didn’t.He held her as carefully as if she were a fragile porcelain treasure, and when he finally stopped, she was unsure whether he’d climaxed or not.She…hadn’t even come close.
He kissed her cheek, rolled off her and held her lightly.“I didn’t hurt you, did I?”he asked.
Hurt her?He’d barely touched her.“No, of course not.”
“Good.You’re…okay, then?”
“I’m fine.”If feeling like clawing her way up the wall to the ceiling and shrieking like a frustrated tomcat could be called fine, that is.
“Good.”He rolled over, snagging a robe off the bed.“I’m gonna run you a nice hot bath, then.And then we’ll go out.Do something special.Okay?”
“Sure.”She had thought that what they had been doing was something special.But it hadn’t turned out that way.
* * *
Maybe, Jack thought, this had been a mistake.Hell, their courtship had been torture, but the actual marriage turned out to be far worse.He tried his damnedest to be the man his beautiful young wife thought he was.All well-bred and gentle.When deep down, he’d wanted to throw her on the bed that night, tear that pristine dress off her and ravish her from her head to her toes.He’d been holding back for so long—because that was what a girl like Grace would expect.Restraint.Decency.
Notmaking love to her had been bad enough.But how could he have known that actually doing it would be so much worse?His desire for the woman had been building ever since he’d first set eyes on her.No, desire wasn’t even the right word.It was more than that.So much more.It was carnal.It was hunger.It was pure undiluted lust.If he had let it loose…hell, she’d have packed up and gone home before morning.So Jack had bound himself up in chains of restraint.He’d held back.He’d vented the tiniest fragment of what had been building inside him.And all it had done was make him want her even more.
He thought that within six months he would probably explode from the pressure within.Or go insane.
Ah, but looking at her, looking into those innocent eyes of hers that night after he’d made love to her for the first time, he’d realized that even though he’d held himself in fierce check, the sex act had traumatized her a bit.She’d looked confused, bewildered, upset.Just think how much worse it might have been.
He was an animal.He felt guilty for having touched her at all.God knew he wasn’t worthy.
That night, their wedding night, had pretty much set the pattern of intimacy between them.They’d settled into a routine after the honeymoon.Sex was infrequent—because it was a hell of a lot easier for Jack to not have her at all, than to have her while fighting his own feelings and holding himself back.
And there was more, of course.There was Jack’s work.He and JW were closing in on the cocaine supplier they had been after for so many months.But they still hadn’t caught him.Jack couldn’t leave his job to take one of the fabulous ones he’d been offered for five times the money.Not until he nailed this guy.But lying to Grace was wearing on him.Every day she would ask him something about his work, and every day he would tell a half-truth or skirt the question.
