Page 107 of A Dance With Fire
All the vulnerability from the previous day had vanished as if it hadn’t even been there at all. In its place was the same Fae who had glared at her since the moment she’d slammed into his massive body. Only this time, there was one difference.
He wasn’t looking at her with open disdain.
Perhaps that’s what had Shula pushing to her feet, all traces of tiredness gone from her body.
“Okay,” she agreed.
She couldn’t be sure, but she thought there was relief flashing in his eyes for a second before he masked it again. Then he was leading her away through the trees.
They walked in silence while Shula tried to gather her thoughts. She wondered what had changed in the span of all these weeks to have Ryker taking her before anyone else woke to train. Perhaps it been the simple act of compassion from the night before, or maybe something else entirely.
The trickling sound of a stream pulled her out of her thoughts at about the same time that Ryker stopped and turned. Shula felt her body freeze at his sudden assessment. His eyes raked over her body, from her booted feet and up higher, landing on her face.
She didn’t cow before his glare, no matter how intimidating. Just like she wouldn’t admit that his intensity made goosebumps rise along her flesh, making her glad she was wearing a long-sleeved tunic and jacket over it. She tilted her chin in the slightest stance of daring defiance.
He was always judging her, always finding her lacking. Now wouldn’t be any different, and just like all the times before, she refused to be embarrassed by what he thought he saw when he looked at her.
He turned away abruptly, staring at the steadily flowing stream. “The waters of Lake Degara flow all throughout Orknie.”
Okay?
He turned back. “It’s not the Arcana, but it will do.”
In case she lost control. So she didn’t burn the entire forest down.
He was taking precautions in case her powers got out of control, but for some reason those precautions made her hackles rise defensively. She had no right to even feel that when she knew her powers were erratic and unpredictable.
It wasn’t that she was embarrassed about not controlling her powers, it was that heknew. Not that it was some grand secret, but it still made her uncomfortable because he’d done nothing but judge her for it since they met.
She was familiar with wanting the approval of those who hated her the most. It was an endless cycle in her life. First, the humans. She’d molded herself to become one, or as close to a human as she could possibly be. Now, the Fae were ripping that away from her and reshaping her into what they wanted. A weapon, a killer, their pet. And even if she didn’t believe in this war, she’d still bend over backwards to do what they wanted. It was a void desperate to be filled. She wanted to be accepted, loved.
That, she realized, was why she felt such a strong pull to Ryker rather than the others. Because he was the one it was hardest to please.
The truth was, she didn’tneedhis approval. Logically, she knew she didn’t. She was leaving anyway, going to find a new life for herself, and she drowned in her own toxic need to make him happy. To have him smile at her. To have his acceptance.
Ryker stepped closer to the stream, over to where there were boulders and fallen logs. He lowered himself onto a boulder, one leg extended into the ground, the other bent against it to prop himself up. The move was very casual and unlike him.
He nodded at the rotting log across from him. “Sit.”
Shula gripped the knife in her hand tighter, drawing comfort from the action, becausewhat the hell?Moving almost too cautiously, she took a seat across from Ryker, moss and wet, rotting bark seeping through her pants.
That eerie gaze assessed her. Being the recipient of that stare made her feel naked. Not the type of naked that meant no clothes, but the other kind. The kind that seemed like he could see into her mind, her soul. Like he saw vividly every vulnerable piece of her.
Shula didn’t like it.
“What are we doing?” she demanded.
It was a while before he responded. “Training.”
Okay?
“Um—”
“Why are you frightened of your powers?” he interrupted.
She jolted at the question. “I’m not.” His glare was pointed. “I’m not!”
“Do not lie to me. I can smell your fear every time you summon the flames.”
