Page 134 of A Dance With Fire
“We barely survived the last war we were in,” Shula argued, voice shaking. “Your numbers were bigger then. What makes him think he can win against the Emperor of Illyk?”
Perhaps those were treasonous words, contradicting him, but she’d said it before. The King of Seelie wasn’t her king, and she was being logical.
There was no way they could survive the war.
“You did not listen to The Seer, did you?” Weylyn’s eyes rolled with annoyance, while his smirk held in place. “The Elementals cangivelife as well as take it away.”
“If the Elementals are a direct portal to summoning Mana, the human emperor wants to use that and eradicate us all. If we find the Elementals first, we can use that portal to heal, to givelife.” Realization seemed to dawn over Valerio. He stared at Shula like he’d just found the answer to all his problems.
“Precisely,” Weylyn said. “King Ashera has ordered Shula to lead us to the Elementals.”
Her whole body froze. “Wait a minute, I never agreed—”
“It’s for the good of the Fae. Only you can find the other Elementals, and we need to keep you out of Emperor Laurel’s hands, besides,” Valerio interjected.
“I’m not someweapon—”
“You are. Open your eyes, Shula. We all have a duty to our race. This is yours.”
Her heart pounded. Everything was spiraling out of control, becoming so overwhelming she didn’t know what to do or say. She had never agreed to any of this. The only reason she’d even gone to Tir na Faie was to discover the truth of herself.
Now she knew it. She was done. She could go her own way, hide from the emperor instead of risk safe house after safe house, collateral damage, and close calls. Lives were at stake, and she’d already put enough of them at risk, just like they’d putherat risk.
“Shula…” She looked up at Ryker. His whole expression was softer than she’d ever seen. “This is your war, too.”
War.
Since childhood, she’d traveled with her parents to avoid war. All she ever knew was a life of hiding and surviving. They saw it as cowardice, but there was bravery in hiding, too. They just couldn’t see it.
They were asking her to give up everything she knew for a war she didn’t want any part in. Hiding and going on her own was a risk. But a war? The risks were greater. She’d led a perfectly fine life alone. She didn’t need to dive headfirst into danger by helping them.
But she knew if she said that, they would never let her leave.
Determined, knowing what she had to do, Shula dipped her head, feigning acquiescence. “You’re right,” she whispered. “It’s my war, too.”
“Good.” Valerio nodded. “Tonight, we’ll camp here. We have another safe house not far from here. We will go there tomorrow, make a plan, and decide how we will find the Elementals.”
Shula nodded. “I’m not sure how to do that.”
“One step at a time, Fire Dancer,” Clay said. “We’ll figure it out tomorrow.”
“Yeah. We will.”
Her heart beat fast as the lie left her lips. She found her gaze straying towards Weylyn often as they prepared to set up camp. Fear, an icy, biting sensation wound its way up her throat as those golden eyes stared hard at her. They didn’t roll to the back of his head, so Shula knew her thoughts were safe for the time being. Yet, his eyes followed her, glittering in the night, his lips twitching with the smallest of smiles like heknew.
Surely, if he did, he would have said something to Valerio but when the time came for him and Ryker to take watch, he prowled into the copse of trees without a backwards glance, easing the anxiety in her chest as he went.
They all settled in for the night, believing she would be with them in the morning. She’d made sure of it so after they all fell asleep, they wouldn’t suspect that she lay awake, staring up at the night sky, counting down the seconds until the pattern of their breathing steadied. As soon as they fell to sleep, as soon as those keeping watch were too far away to hear her, she got to her feet, shouldering her bag.
This wasn’t her war, and she’d done what she’d set out to do. At least, that’s what she told herself. She told herself she was being smart. That the Emperor of Illyk couldn’t find her if she hid. That the Fae that were supposedly her friends wouldn’t be able to use her.
She told herself she was protecting her life, her heart, from being used. Protecting herself from being killed. That it wasn’t fear of the unknown driving her away, or the fear of what she could possibly mean in this war.
She was protecting herself and them.
Because the Emperor of Illyk would not stop looking, and the day would come when they couldn’t protect her anymore. When a human soldier got lucky. Next time it wouldn’t be an innocent like Filomena. Next time, it would be Clay or Julius.
Ryker.
