Page 53 of A Dance With Fire
“I know you aren’t sleeping.”
Damn it.
Shula’s eyes opened and she took a breath, but she didn’t turn around.
“You and Ryker saw us.”
Heat that had nothing to do with the bonfire suffused Shula’s whole body. Still, she didn’t speak.
“That’s okay. I’m not shy. The revelries in the Unseelie Court were rife with orgies. Not that I’d know, since I’m too young to remember, but that kind of exhibitionism and wildness lives in my blood, you know.” She sounded breathless, as breathless as Shula felt. “Des doesn’t mind either. It was kind of exciting. But then you ran away.” She went quiet again, and Shula didn’t have it in her to fill the spaces of silence with her own words. “Why did you run away?”
Shula turned so she lay flat on her back. She stared up at the sky for so long that she traced the patterns the stars made and compared them to Orna’s shimmering skin. Everything in Shula’s body vibrated because she could still hear the whispered caress of Orna’s sighs in her ears, the way the sound spread over her own body like the slippery slide of phantom fingers heightening her desire. It was followed by a searing jealousy and embarrassment.
Her face heated at the emotions that rolled through her, one after the other. She tried to rein them in, shoving them down where they belonged. And in the darkness beside the crackling fire, with all those emotions swirling inside her and Orna beside her, it seemed safe to give up a confession, the tiniest bit of herself.
“Because I’ll never have what you have, and I can’t imagine what it’s like.”
“You’ve never…?” The question was implied in the silence.
“No. Never.”
“I didn’t either. Not until I met Des.” Her hand reached out and squeezed Shula’s. “Maybe someday soon, you’ll meet your mate.”
“I don’t want a mate.” Shula pulled her hand from Orna’s and turned back to face the flames.
What she didn’t say was why she didn’t want one.
Because everyone she loved was doomed to die or betray her. It was why she didn’t want to get close to Orna. The Fae was pure hearted and kind, and there didn’t seem to be a drop of malice in her body. Not a single one.
Shula knew now that Orna wouldn’t betray her.
Which meant the only other option was death.
And if Orna died because of Shula, just like everyone else in her life had died, Shula didn’t know how she’d ever live with herself.
She wouldn’t be able to.
If she allowed herself to care for Orna and Orna died, then Shula would wish for death, too.
* * *
The wind rustledthe leaves and swayed the branches from side to side. Ryker’s ears twitched as he took the sounds into his system. This was second nature to him by now; breathing in the life of the mountains that wasn’t polluted with iron and human industrialization.
There was none of that here, though. The mountains of Tuath had always been a peaceful place, but it could never compare to home.
Twigs snapping caught his attention, but because he recognized the footsteps and the sweet scent, he didn’t whip around quickly this time. Not like earlier.
He grunted noncommittally as Valerio stood next to him. Ryker didn’t speak because there was nothing to say and he hated wasting words when actions were so much louder.
“It’s not your watch, Ryker,” Valerio said.
Ryker didn’t take his gaze away from the darkness. His prince didn’t either.
“I know,” Ryker replied softly.
“You should sleep, rest up.”
“Orna and Des went for a tryst in the forest again.”
