Page 12 of Secrets Among the Tides
Josiah grabbed my arm and I wasn’t sure if he’d meant to steady me or himself from the shock of it. I kept myself upright with his help, tried not to crumble to the ground like so many had already done upon hearing the names. I wouldn’t do that. I’d be strong.
Because compared to them, I had it easy.
And I don’t know why that sudden thought shamed me.
“Mais,” Jo whispered. I barely heard him. There was a rushing in my ears that hadn’t been there before. A painful cacophony of sound accompanying the panic in my chest. I took a deep breath, trying to get my emotions under control as I turned to look at my boss, at my mentor. I did not misread the heartbreak in his eyes. “I’m so sorry, Mais.”
This part was hard. The pretending, the lying. He believed I was going off to fight, to throw myself amidst blood and sword with the rest of them when in reality, I’d be wearing the mask of a royal, trying to stop it all from continuing.
A sob rose up in my chest and I tried to push it down but it slipped through, cracking my words. “It’s okay, Jo,” I nearly gasped. “It’ll be okay.”
And then I was in his arms, feeling the scales of his skin against the smoothness of my own. I held him tightly, as tight as I could in the hopes that it would prevent me from crying out, from somehow blurting out the truth. Instead, I held him in our final goodbye. And even though everything else was a lie, my love for him and the heartbreak I felt were very, very real.
~~~
PUSHING ASIDE GROUPS OF CATTAILS,I made my way through the forest and towards my home. The home I would soon leave behind. Tomorrow morning this place would be empty, the place where my grandmother had raised me. The place where she had died.
One day, I would come back here, after I made things right in Thalassar. In the meantime, I’d asked Jo to look after the place for me, to not let it get overrun with weeds and critters. I knew he’d do it for me. I saw the raw emotion in his eyes. He didn’t want me to go, hadn’t been expecting it. I could have asked anything of him at that moment and he wouldn’t have questioned a thing.
But all I wanted was this place well kept. “In case I come back,” I’d whispered.
I saw his eyes shutter. I knew he didn’t believe I’d ever be coming back. No one who left did.
I pushed aside the doorway and swam through, into the confines of my little space. I had nothing of value to take with me. The telly would stay, obviously, and the blade… I looked at it, swam over and ran my fingers lightly across the smooth hilt. It was the nicest thing I owned and I didn’t plan on leaving it behind.
I wondered if the captain would approve of me—the soon to be fake princess—carrying a blade around. Probably not but I wouldn’t give this weapon up. Not to him or anyone else. I’d only had it for less than a day yet I felt so strongly about it. If it had been fashioned by the Black Blade, by a merman who had made history by defying the kingdom, then I’d keep it.
Because, like the Black Blade, I planned on making history too.
~~~
I TOOK MY TIME PACKING THE NEXT MORNING.I had few belongings, so it didn’t take long to stuff three tunics and a few hats into a carry on bag. I wore a black tunic, long enough to cover my tail and loose enough to move around comfortably in. I’d need it, for I had no idea what was to come. After stuffing my hair into a hat, I went the table where my sheathed blade sat. I debated on tying it around my waist but decided against it, instead stuffing it—out of sight—into the bag with the rest of my belongings.
As far as possessions went, that was all I owned. It was a good thing I didn’t own much. Less to carry and besides, if I was going to parade around as the Princess, her things would become mine. At least temporarily.
The morning after Selection ranged between being harder and being easier. This morning we would find out if anyone had tried escaping, if the guards had caught anyone sneaking about to run away from their duties. And those selected would leave.
I wouldn’t say goodbye to anyone. I’d already said my goodbye’s to Jo the night before. Doing it twice would have hurt more. No, this way seemed easier somehow. I looked around at the inside of my home, breathed in the smell of water lilies one last time before I had to go. I would miss this place. The feeling lodged itself so deeply into me that I almost faltered, but I straightened, pushing back the tears
I had to do this. If no one else was going to change anything then I had to do it.
An abrupt knock tore me out of my thoughts. It was time. With my head high, I swam out to meet Captain Saber. He was by the entryway, his body as stiff as ever. I nodded in acknowledgment. “Captain,” I mumbled.
His eyes roamed over my face, more specifically, my head. I wondered if he was trying to see through the material of the hat, to get a glimpse at my hair. When he finally tore his gaze away, he seemed a bit more relaxed.
“Good morning, Maisie,” he said. I noticed there was something in his hand and when I looked at it, he was stretching his arm out to offer it to me. “Put this on.” I took it from him and I swore my hands burned from touching the material. From touching the uniform jacket he handed to me.
I scrutinized it. “Why?”
“The moment we leave these waters, we will be passing through more civilized towns with a lot more merfolk. If they see royal guards and if they see you, they may mistake you for the Princess.”
I stared quizzically at him. “But isn’t that the point?”
“Yes, but not yet and not here. Especially not dressed like that.” His chin jerked at my outfit and I felt myself prickle defensively at the judgement. He hadn’t said it unkindly, exactly, but it still made my face flame. “Just put it on. We are going to move out soon and I don’t want to wait on you or draw attention to you, either.”
I blinked at his words, at the way he seemed to spit them out with irritation. Weird how he could go from one somber mood to annoyed in a split second. It made me wonder if the trip was going to be entirely dreadful.
Sighing, I dropped my pack and shoved my arms through the sleeves of the jacket. Once it was on, I secured it with the black pearl buttons all the way up to my neck and looked down at myself with heated cheeks and distaste. It felt like a betrayal somehow to wear this. To wear the colors of the kingdom that had betrayed Lagoona. But for the good of everyone, I had to suck it up.
