Page 126 of A Sword of Ice
“They will have questions anyway,” Valerio pointed out, nodding at their haggard appearances.
Uric did not appear to be listening. He buttoned up his shirt with cold precision, as icy in his demeanor as Iona’s magic. When he finished, he reached for his jacket and shrugged that on before he started walking away.
Valerio felt dumbfounded at his attitude and followed.
“Uric…” He grabbed his arm, and Uric whirled, his nostrils flaring.
“What would you have me say, Valerio?” he demanded. He did not need to shout to get his point across. His voice was deadly enough in its low timbre.
It made Valerio’s hackles rise at the audacity of his insubordination. “I will have you obey my requests, as I am your prince.”
A brief strike of disbelief crossed his dark depths before it was replaced with a hardness he only ever reserved for others.
It made Valerio feel like a cad.
“Of course, my prince,” he gritted out. “How could I ever forget that my only purpose has ever been to serve you? That is why I was given to you in the first place.”
Valerio reeled back as if the words had slapped him. It was the truth, and yet they still felt wrong. “It is not like that,” he defended. “You know we are not like that.”
His brows furrowed. “Then what are we like? Friends?” He scoffed. “You have kept me at arm’s length for years and have made it clear that you do not wish for anything more.”
Annoyance flared through Valerio’s blood. Suddenly, the entire weight of the things he had been carrying for so long toppled over into being too much.
He had never given in to tantrums as a child, much less as an adult, however he felt like snapping now, so he did.
“What more do you want from me, Uric?” He took a step forward until their chests were touching. Until the scent of him was sharp enough in his nostrils that he wanted to sneeze. “Definemore.” When he did not speak, Valerio cocked his head to the side. “No? Then I shall do it for you. You want to fuck me and be fucked by me; you wish that I loved you the way you love me, but you know I do not and cannot. I will notever.”
Uric did not suck in a breath. He did not reel back or twist his features in pain. He straightened, his expression completely impassive, and smoothed his palms down his jacket, only to clean the blood from his fingers.
This was almost worse than if he would have shouted, but Valerio should have known better. Uric did not shout. He did not show emotion. Not like others. Yet Valerio could read him perfectly just the same.
“You have coveted feelings for me for far too long, my friend,” Valerio said, if only to soften the blow, while putting as much emphasis on the word friend as possible. “You know we can never be. I am waiting for—”
Uric gave him a stiff bow, interrupting him. “If that will be all, prince?”
Prince.
Notmy prince.
Prince.
It was what Valerio wanted, to set himself out of that emotional box Uric had placed him in, and yet it still hurt. Not because he was playing with Uric and wanted him to secretly harbor feelings for the rest of his life.
But because Valerio hated hurting the best friend he had ever had.
Because the pain of unrequited love was sharper than the blade he had taken to the skin hours earlier, and he could feel it reflected in Uric’s eyes.
There was so much more he wanted to say, but he held the words in the back of his throat and straightened himself.
Arm’s length.
It is what Uric said he always gave, and he would not stop now.
“That will be all, Uric,” Valerio snapped, ever the imperious royal. “You are dismissed.”
Darkness flashed in Uric’s eyes once again, but before Valerio could read more into it, he was turning, and leaving the way King Ashera had gone.
And when Valerio was alone, he turned and stared at the pool of Uric’s blood and told himself that all he had said and done was for his own protection.
