Page 52 of A Sword of Ice
To the West Isles.
27
A Pleasant Distraction
It was hours of smooth sailing. They’d long since left Porir behind until they were surrounded by ocean on all sides. The further they drifted away from the shores of Teg, the clearer the once-black waters became.
And still Iona trembled.
Not from the pain on her shoulder, as that had long since passed thanks to Ryker, who had a healing gift from Mana. He’d touched her shoulder in passing and she had turned to snap at him with prickly defensiveness before she felt searing white-hot magic burst through her body, healing her wound closed.
As the pain had left her, Ryker had grimaced and stormed away before she could see him obviously absorb it into himself. Iona had stared after him. His magic had left her hollow inside. She’d wished she could take that ability of his and bottle it up and lock it away. It was a dangerous magic to possess and instead of making her feel rejuvenated, it made her feel a looming sense of doom.
It reminded her too much of her past and took her back there. To a time before the war had decimated her family. To scrapes and bruised knees and a gentle hand passing over the wounds. Watching them knit closed, leaving smooth skin behind as if they’d never really been there at all.
To distract herself, she’d steered the boat until Clay came over to bother her. By then, her emotions were too high, her fingers desperate to touch her thighs in a soothing tempo.
She’d given up the reins of the ship to Clay and Valerio hours ago after she was sure they knew what they were doing. The boat had several maps stashed away of the entire empire as well as a compass, and other tools so they wouldn’t get lost navigating.
She’d left the two males to it so she could go catch her breath. She tried forcing away memories and feelings by keeping herself busy along the deck, but the more she tried, the worse her body shook. Tears prickled behind her eyelids, and she forced several deep breaths to her lungs to keep them at bay.
Iona pressed her forearms against the edge of the boat, staring at the rolling water beneath them. One memory made way for another. Of canons hitting the boat, of jarring impact sending her flying against the water’s surface, how it felt like hitting concrete. Of arms dragging her under and hauling her through the ocean until she was spit out by black hands. The sensation of losing all sense of breath.
Then her familiar’s pain-filled eyes. The blood on his jaw and fur, the way he’d placed his trust in her hands so easily and she hadn’t been there to save him from Petey’s wrath.
She should have been there for him. She should have gotten him out before running away. Those papers she’d got from George would be useless, now that she was going to be on the run with the Resistance.
Iona dug her nails into the metal edge and took a deep breath, but it didn’t ease her anxiety. She felt her nails starting to chip, and the sound of the rushing water made her groan.
Then, a hand came down on her own, covering it completely in a blanket of warmth that she felt down to her core. Her eyes flew open to find Julius, his thumb tracing circles over her skin.
She was surprised at how quickly it eased her anxiety. Her body welcomed his touch with a sure conviction, and she wanted to lean into his broad shoulder, wanted him to wrap his arm around her for comfort.
She slipped her hand from beneath his palm and stepped to the side, putting much needed distance between them. She could feel his body stiffen beside hers as he likely took a bit of offense to her pulling away, and she forced herself to meet his eyes. They weren’t angry, but she swore she caught a glimmer of hurt that he quickly replaced with a hard mask followed by a flirtatious grin. The series of convoluted expressions tore at her chest.
“Relax, Iona,” he practically purred. “Your fingers will cramp.”
It was too late for that.Those words went unsaid, but she wondered if he could feel them pulsing between the empty spaces.
“I’m just worried.” Her fingers went up and pushed aside the curls from her face, exposing her pointed ears. “I can’t feel anything down our bond.” Not that she would have known how to anyway. She should have spent the time she had with her familiar learning how to use the bond. She’d grown too confident in the faux-pacifism of Porir that she’d forgotten all could be lost within a single moment.
She made a vow to ask Ryker to teach her about the bonds with familiars. He seemed rather in tune with the black cat that perched on his shoulder. It wouldn’t hurt to learn from someone who had more experience. If only so she never failed her own familiar again.
“Hey.” Julius drew her attention to him again. He didn’t reach for her, but it looked like he wanted to. “Everything is going to be okay. We’ll get him back.” He chewed on his plump bottom lip, contemplating something before he reached out to brush aside an errant curl from her cheek. His touch lingered, fingertips hovering over her skin. He couldn’t stop touching her, like it was an intrinsic need, and the crazy part was that she didn’t want him to.
“Mana, please will it so.” She sent the words up like a prayer.
Julius smirked and she answered with a teasing, tentative smile of her own. His palm enveloped her cheek and he seemed to pull her closer.
Iona let out a soft breath and forced herself to step away from him and the addictive sway of his touch. He scowled, his hand falling at his side.
“I am worried about my familiar,” she confessed. She wanted him to understand why she was forcing the distance, but knowing that if he didn’t, well, it wasn’t her problem. “I was given a gift from Mana, and it’s a bond I cannot deny.”
“But you’ll deny me…” He didn’t sound angry about it, though a visceral sadness coated the words.
“Never. I would no sooner ignore the bonds of a familiar than I would the bonds of my mate.” His eyes lit up, but he didn’t touch her this time, and she was thankful for that. “I want you to understand, though, I won’t explore this.” She gestured between them. “Not while my familiar is out there suffering. I will not allow myself the liberty of a pleasant distraction. I will not let myself forget him through you. It’s not fair to either of you.”
Understanding seemed to dawn on Julius. His smile was soft. “Alright,” he said. “But no more running from me. Let me help you do this. Let me help you get him back.”
