Page 59 of A Sword of Ice
“Right. Look, Fire Dancer, I think I get it. Your whole life you’ve been forced to hide who you are, then to pretend you were something you’re not to keep yourself safe. I certainly don’t fucking begrudge you for it, but I think a part ofyoustill does.” She opened her mouth to argue and he shot her a look full of mirth. “Look, let me finish, alright? You’ve been used to molding yourself, to change so you fit exactly into the environment you’re at. You had to alter your ears, pretend to be human and become one. Your goals have changed and now you have to learn to be Fae all over again, right?”
She hated how accurate it was. He’d ripped the words straight from her soul when even she hadn’t been able to place them.
“Right,” she agreed.
“Now you’re trying to fit in with us. Because they gave you so much shit for any decision you ever made, now you’re trying to mold yourself again just to fit into our little circle. To be what you think we want you to be.”
“How did you—”
“Trust me, I know more than anyone. I grew up in the Sapphire Court, remember? My parents were nobles and they wanted me to be a proper little shit. I tried to force myself out of the image they wanted for me and I became something else. Then my father died and I suddenly had to fit into everything I ever rejected and it was restraining.” He shrugged. “So I get it. I understand.”
“How did you do it?” she asked. “Fit in, I mean.”
He sighed and his lip tilted into a smirk, showing off his one dimple, making the indent in his chin look all the more prominent. “The thing is, I never did.”
Her hopes deflated and she sagged against the wall.
“Fire Dancer, what if there’s no magical secret? It’s not as complicated as we make it out to be. We aren’t all the same, but what someone lacks, someone else makes up for it. Think of Julius. He’s fucking strong, he’s a good warrior, but he isn’t serious enough. He has anger issues. Valerio is level-headed, but he’s fucking impatient and eager sometimes. Uric is stealthy, protective, but he’s blinded by loyalty. Ryker is an amazing healer, but he’s so caught up in his past that he can’t see past the scars on his face. And Weylyn?” He paused, chewing against his lip. “Well, Weylyn’s a giant fucking dick. I don’t know what to say about him.” Shula chuckled. “And I’m… I’m loyal, I’m clearheaded, but sometimes I get in my emotions and let them take over.”
“And me?” she asked in a small voice, almost afraid at what he would say.
He smirked again and tapped his finger to her nose. “I think you’re perfect.”
She swallowed the lump in her throat. “Be serious. Please.”
“Fine. I think you have great power inside you. I think you’re determined and kind and fierce, but you’re too afraid to realize just how amazing you really are. Does that answer satisfy you?”
She sucked in a watery breath and felt the tears slip from her eyes anew. He said all that with such fervor, like he truly believed she was all those things.
Yet she still asked, “You don’t think I’m cowardly?”
“Fuck no, and whoever says otherwise is a fucking idiot and I’ll fight them for you. Do you know what strength means, Fire Dancer?”
“It means…” What did it mean? “It means bravery, it means fighting—”
“I’m going to cut you off right there. Fire Dancer, strength doesn’t mean just one thing. There are so many different kinds of strength and everyone wears a different kind like a brand. There’s the quiet strength of a mother kissing her child’s wounds. There’s the graceful strength of a dancer twirling across a stage. There’s brute strength to punch through a boulder. There’s something especially brave in the strength it takes to keep living after you’ve lost everyone you love.
“We all have some kind of strength in us. Maybe not everyone understands your brand of power yet, but they fucking will. Because you, Fire Dancer, are fucking powerful in your own right. You could move mountains, burn cities, reduce evil to ash, give life and hope to this world that has none.” He brushed aside a lock of hair to expose her ears, his fingers grazing them gently. “Having these doesn’t make a difference. They’re not a reflection of what’s in here.” His palm pressed to her chest. Right over the rapid beating of her heart. Then he dropped his hand back into his lap and his smile was a radiant thing on his face, making him so much more beautiful. “The next time you ask yourself if you fit in, don’t. Because you already do, Fire Dancer.You already do.”
* * *
Ryker couldn’t concentrate.Not on the waves pushing the boat towards their destination. Not on his familiar, curling her body around his legs. Not even on the impending journey ahead. Usually, he was always hyper-focused, and yet he couldn’t. Fucking. Concentrate.
The blame for this was the Fire Dancer’s.
Shula Azzarh’s.
His mate.
She was the culprit who invaded his thoughts with maddening frequency. Where he’d once despised the very thought of her taking up space within him, now things were different. The mating mark pulsing on his neck reminded him of that.
That she occupied a place inside his soul. They were interwoven. They’d sealed their fate.She’dsealed her fate the moment she’d let him sink his canines and cock into her.
She washis.
And she wasangry.
Desperately, he reached down their bond, invisible fingers caressing their twining threads. Her presence burned warmly, brightly. It thawed out pieces within him, giving life to what he thought had been dead.
